Lies, Screams, and Complexes
by KokoroDesiree
Summary: Spin-off from Nervous Glitter Tornado; part of the Secrets series: For special circumstances Mira Tyler has been living with the Morgensterns for the past year, now everything is starting to blow up in her face. Jonathan's family has more issues than she thought, and why does that Clary Fray girl hate her so much? Follow Mira as she faces hell and the devil's demons. OC, AU
1. Chapter 1: Jonathan C Morgenstern

**Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern**

He sleeps around. A lot. I mean a lot. At the start of the evening I'll see a Latina girl with too many tattoos enter his room and by morning some Asian woman will leave limping and with a crooked smile on her smeared lips. His father is no different but at least I know why Valentine acts the way he does- his wife left him for his best friend. Though the details on why she left to begin with are a little fuzzy, and I don't care. Valentine may have allowed me to rent out one of his loft's rooms but by no means is he a "nice guy." He's strict and cruel and possibly the worse father I have ever seen. I could have left months ago and gotten a better place to live but I needlessly worry about Jonathan, even though he's older than me.

It's not like I do anything in the Morgenstern loft, they have a cleaning lady and a part-time cook that makes dinner and works weekends. I just sleep and do homework in my room, then go to work at a bar that is rather infamous, but it's good pay and the costumers are all decent people. Well actually I try to sleep, but Jonathan's room is right next to mine and the girls he brings home aren't exactly quiet. By no means quiet, and I've taken to jabbing headphones into my ears and blasting music to drown out their cries of pleasure, or pain- I don't like to think about it.

This morning was no different than another, I trudged out of my room with a messy bun of crimson hair and sleep crusts in the corners of my eyes as I made my way to the kitchen. I caught sight of Jonathan shutting the front door after some chick with a huge ass. I did my best to ignore him as I grabbed an apple from a bowl of fruit and cleaned it on the front of my plain gray tee. He huffed turning to the open layout of the loft and stretched his long pale arms over his head and cracked his back. I crunched into my red apple as I started looking through the fridge for something to drink.

"Are you gonna stand there all day?" He grumbled behind me.

"Does it bother you?" I asked grabbing a bottle of water with my free hand and turned around to face him. He is half a foot taller than me and has pitch black eyes and paler than pale blond hair. He looks just like his father and they are both attractive, and that's why I don't tell anyone at school I live here.

"It's very inconvenient." He deadpanned brushing his tousled hair out of his face.

"My pleasure Master." I said sarcastically as I stepped out of the way. I bite another mouth full of my apple as I rounded the corner into the living room.

"You're such a pain in the ass. I don't understand why my father puts up with you." Jonathan growled from the kitchen while the sound of rattling pots and pans could be heard.

"I live to serve!" I replied plopping down on the couch and setting the bottle of water on the coffee table then grabbed the remote to the TV.

He muttered something else I couldn't quite hear but it sounded like " Ducking witch." I angrily bite another chunk of my apple as I flipped to the weather channel and pondered why I worry about such an annoyingly stuck-up bastard.

* * *

At NYC Institute High school I melted into the crowd of students. I can't wait to get out of high school but I am only a Junior. I need to get out of here and find my place and stop relying on others even though it's my decision to stay at the Morgenstern's. Thankfully Jonathan is a senior so I don't see him often except at lunch and study-halls. He's popular and on the Hockey team, known as the King of the penalty box. _He is violent, and has a horrible mouth, and terrible temper, and hates Jace Lightwood to no end, and has money, and. . . . I lost my point to this thought._

I was sitting in the library trying to get ahead in my homework so I could go straight to sleep when I got home from work when some guy yelled "I'm a freewheeling bisexual, get over it." from the level below. I groaned and rolled my eyes. _This is what happens at public city schools._ It's only October and people are treating it like the last few weeks before the end of the year. It annoys me, mostly because that's how Jonathan acts all year long. He is always about himself and no one else. Examples the screaming women at night and my room right next to his.

I turned back to my chemistry homework trying to figure out the chemical equation when something else interrupted me, and I didn't have to look up to know who it was, or what was going on, but I did anyway out of a teenage girl's curiosity reflex. It was Jonathan -of course- and some random girl, they were wrapped around each other as they struggled to get to the sanctuary of a corner so people like me couldn't see. I huffed a sigh and shook my head out of annoyance. I was about to turn back to my homework when I saw a teacher walking up the main aisle of shelves checking the other aisles and he was rapidly approaching the one Jonathan and his little friend were canoodling in. If it was anyone else I would have left them to their punishment, but it was him and I live with him. If he found out I just let it happen he would make my life even more difficult than it already was.

So I jumped to my feet and hurried down the aisle to them. The girl's top was halfway over her head when I approached and I yanked it back down. She began to yell, but I clamped my hand over her mouth and pulled her away from Jonathan who's fly was down and belt undone. I groaned inwardly as I removed my hand from the girl. She glared at me and I just rolled my eyes. Jonathan was still leaning against the bookshelf with his pants open leering at me like I was a plague put on this Earth solely meant to ruin his life. Maybe I was, but right now I was only trying to help. The girl next to me raised her hand to hit me and,

"What's going on down here?" Asked Mr. Fell, the chemistry teacher. His snow white hair flopped into his eyes as he peered down at us three. I took a side step in front of Jonathan to block his currently exposed boxers and gave the always kind teacher a friendly smile while the girl lowered her hand. She looked nervous and red faced like she about to get scolded. And she would be if I hadn't stepped in.

"I was looking for reference material for the homework you assigned and these two were just helping me." I lied smoothly. Behind me I could hear the zip of a closing zipper and the clink of a buckling belt, Jonathan was decent again... as decent as Jonathan Morgenstern can be. The girl next to me nodded vigorously agreeing with my lie like it would save her life.

"Oh, what are you having trouble with Mira, I can help you while I'm here." Mr. Fell said with his kind teacher smile.

"Thanks." I said stepping away from the flirting pair. As Mr. Fell and I rounded the corner I caught a glimpse of Jonathan glaring at me and his little friend looking at me with an expression that said she was relieved. I was half thanked and half hated, nothing new.

I fear the Jonathan will never change.

* * *

The bus ride to work was hot and smelly from the crowding suited men and woman that refuse to take the subway. I tried to ignore the disgusting wondering hands of the old desperate men and nearly charged off the bus when we finally reached my stop. I walked three more blocks to Pandemonium, the infamous bar, and my work. It's an extra large shack like building with one main room and a back room where countless rumors have been started. I can't even remember them all, but only about half are actually true, like yes we sometimes serve underage kids -well they hired me, a seventeen year old- and that many kids have been conceived in the back room.

"Hola Mira." Greeted my boss as I walked through the door. Raphael Santiago was wiping down the counter of the bar with a worn out rag. The regulars were all gathered on the stools and waved at me as I made my way to the bar.

I waved back as I said, "Hey." I stepped behind the bar and shoved my backpack into a cupboard for the employees.

"How's school going Mira?" An old shriveled woman with sharp and clever eyes asked as I pulled on my black apron. Her name is Madame Dorothea, a small time psychic that works just around the corner. She comes in every day for the local gossip and a vodka tonic before she goes off to open her shop for the nightly customers.

"Not bad. Wish it would end already." I answered taking over the cleaning of the bar as Raphael went to the kitchen to clean dishes.

Dorothea cackled her old lady laugh. "All you teenagers are the same, so eager to grow up. You should enjoy this time before you're looking like me."

I made a face as I took in her wrinkles, gray hair and vein riddled hands. I didn't want to look like that, ever.

"Well can you blame us? We're rebellious little brats after all." I joked as I wiped at a water mark on the wood. Dorothea and Bat -a big buff guy with a scar on his face- both laughed.

"That you are." Bat chuckled setting his scotch down. He was extremely tall and scary looking but he's one of the nicest guys you could possibly meet. He tips generously too. "Always getting into trouble and complaining."

"Hey, when was the last time I got into trouble?" I challenged pointing the rag at him and my other hand on my hip.

"Ahh," Bat stuttered and I smirked.

"That's what I thought." I said victoriously.

"How about right now, if you don't start sweeping!" Raphael yelled from the kitchen.

"Sorry." I muttered scurrying for the broom resting in the corner. Bat snickered at me while Dorothea got to her feet.

"Thank you for the socializing. It's always interesting to talk to you Mira, dear." She said patting my back then stuck something into the pocket of my apron.

It was a ten dollar bill. Looking up to protest her kind gesture she was already out the door humming a toneless song to herself. I live off tips, but sometimes it just feels like pity instead of my amazing bartender skills. Sighing I slipped the money back into my pocket and returned to work.

I was in the middle of the floor sweeping dust and dirt across the room when the bell above the door chimed signalling an arriving customer. I didn't look up figuring it was one of Bat's friends, or Eve his girlfriend. "Welcome to Pandemo-"

"Tyler." Hissed a terrifyingly familiar voice cutting me off.

"Seriously?" I said flatly as I looked up to see a red faced Jonathan glaring intensely at me.

"Yeah seriously." He growled clenching his hands at his sides.

I pushed my hair back from my face and released another sigh. "How are you still upset about that? I saved your ass from getting kicked off the Hockey team." I said standing my ground.

"I don't need a little bitch like you saving me. I can handle myself." Jonathan hissed towering over me.

"Yeah I'm sure you could have with your pants around your ankles." I grumbled stepping away from him. We've had this confrontation before and I have work to do.

"Hey!" He yelled grabbing my arm and snapping me back around towards him.

"Woah!" Bat said getting to his feet, and a dish could be heard breaking in the kitchen. A moment later Raphael was standing next to Bat both ready to pounce and fight.

"It's fine." I told them as Jonathan's hand tightened on my arm. I really didn't need to lose my place to live not while school was still going and absorbing three-fourths of my life. "What do you want me to do?" I asked Jonathan who's eyes looked even blacker than usual.

"Just stay out of my way." He hissed jerking his hand away from my arm. I almost lost my balance and had to use the broom to stay on my feet.

"No problem." I said flatly as he turned for the door. He didn't even stop to acknowledge that I had spoken, I would never have guessed we had been living together for almost a year. Actually it was this time last year that I moved into the Morgenstern house, after _that_ accident.

"You okay Mira?" Raphael asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at him and half smiled, "Yeah. He's just a cranky guy."

"More like an ass-hat that needs a good beating." Bat said sitting back down on his stool. I laughed.

"That's not the son of the guy you're living with is it?" Raphael asked as I returned to sweeping.

"Nope." I said popping my lips on the p.

"Mira?" Bat pushed as my boss stared at me with his dark eyes.

"I swear." I lied looking him right in the eye without batting a lash.

Not everyone needs to know everything. Some things are better remaining secrets. The world is full of them. Why break a good thing that is keeping humanity together without crumbling into dust and shadows and plunging us into nothingness.

* * *

**Here it is, the spin off story to Nervous Glitter Tornado. There will be another story, but that will be a surprise after these two are finished, this series is called Secrets, since that's what the story lines are bass off of, the main character's secrets. Enjoy and review, I love reviews ^^ **

**The main characters name is Mira Tyler (full name Mirabelle)**

**please leave a review they help and I want to know what you guys think! PLEASE**


	2. Chapter 2: No Right

**No Right**

"Oh sweet pillows, how I love thee." I moaned into their fluffy whiteness after I crashed exhaustedly onto my bed.

It was just after eleven, and I still had a paper to write for English, but I wanted nothing more than to just not move and pass out. I couldn't though, I had to keep my grades up, it was Raphael's only condition for me working at Pandemonium. For an irresponsible guy, he's a pretty responsible and caring boss. Doesn't make sense, right?

Pulling myself up I groaned and kicked off my shoes at the end of my bed. I pulled my backpack up next to me and dug into it until I found said English homework. All I had to do was write four paragraphs about A Tale of Two Cities, and I didn't actually read it. It made no sense and it was just too long. So right now my best friend is Google. I was pulling out my crappy old laptop when there was thump in the hall followed by a sharp laugh and a sinister chuckle that sent chills down my spine. Jonathan brought another girl home.

I sighed as I tried to remember where I left my Mp3 player and headphones so I wouldn't have to listen them next door. Then there was a shriek, and normally I would have ignored it but the shriek held a word. "Help." I couldn't ignore a literal cry for help, so I sat my laptop aside and dashed out of my room and to Jonathan's room. I threw open the door expecting it to be lit but it was pitch black not even the hall light was enough to brighten the darkness beyond the threshold.

I stood there for only a second and was practically tackled by a small petite girl with tangled brown curls. She was panting and crying as she clenched the front of my shirt.

"Pathetic." Scoffed Jonathan as he stepped out of the blackness and into the small path of light. He was glaring down at the girl and before I could do anything she ran from the room and out of the loft. The slamming of the front door was a signal of that.

I looked down at my tear stained shirt then back up at Jonathan who was now leering at me with his oil slick black eyes. "What the hell happened?" I asked slightly frantic. My heart was racing and my pulse pounded loudly in my ears out of either fear or concern, I couldn't tell.

"It doesn't concern you." He stated turning back into his room. I wasn't going to accept that, and I really should have.

"It does when I live right on the other side of that wall." I said grabbing the back of his shirt stopping his retreat. He looked over his shoulder at me an irritated smile on his handsome face.

"You shouldn't be here at all." He said darkly.

"But I am here. And it's not your decision, but your father's." I stated releasing his shirt. I glared back at him.

He spun on his heel then, towering over me with his hands braced on the doorway. I did my best to stand my ground, but Jonathan just emits a dark aura of don't-fuck-with-me, and smart sensible people obey that. I wasn't being smart or sensible. I was being a stubborn idiot.

"Do you really want to know what happened?" He asked in a deep voice that sounded like a demonic angel speaking.

I froze. I didn't really want to know, I just didn't want him doing it anymore. I didn't want him to be like his psychotic and evil father that attended therapy four times a week. Jonathan didn't have to be like that, he could still have a chance to be some what normal. Well he didn't have to be a disgusting playboy that slept with every girl that said yes.

"Are you afraid too?" He asked dropping his voice even lower. I bit my lip and curled my left hand into my hair trying to find the words that would get me out of this situation.

Those are not the words that left my mouth though. "Who would be afraid of a hothead that acts like a spoiled brat?" I challenged crossing my arms over my chest.

Before I could pull away Jonathan yanked me inside his room and shut the door behind me leaving us in complete darkness. There wasn't even a faint glow from the street lamps outside, he had his windows covered. I stumbled over my feet trying to get free but he had a firm hold on my arm. Suddenly I was horizontal and pinned between what I figured was Jonathan's bed and he himself. My hands were clamped together above my head and I could feel his breath on my cheek. It was warm and held the scent of beer. So he had been drinking tonight.

"Let me go." I said trying not to sound scared. I was, but at the same time not at all. There was no way to describe it, but that my heart raced faster and that I wanted something to happen.

"Now why would I do that?" He purred darkly and his mouth was at my ear. His teeth grazed my lobe and I wanted to punch him. He had no right at all. "You're the one who asked what I did. I'm just showing you."

One of his hands came down on my chest and squeezed while a knee came between my legs with too much force. I didn't want to make a sound but I did. I yelped in pain, and struggled to get free. It didn't work.

"Let me go. Let me go!" I fought but he didn't listen. His hand continued on my chest groping and feeling and I wanted to hit him so badly.

"That isn't even the fun part." He chuckled to himself. "Quite moving." He ordered in my ear.

"What right do you have to touch me?" I yelled colliding my head with his. I felt myself go cross-eyed and become slightly dizzy from the impact.

Jonathan cursed and pulled back. His hand loosened on my wrists and I was able to pull free. His hands came for me again and judging as best I could in the absolute dark I sent a right hook towards his face. I missed his face and hit his shoulder, but he rolled off of me and I moved to get off the bed. I fell to the ground landing on my hands and knees.

"Not again." He growled as I launched to my feet. I wasn't fast enough, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to the bed.

_How the hell did he manage that? Can he see in the freaking dark?_ I yelled inside my head as I was once again straddled and pinned underneath him.

"Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern! Get the hell off of me!" I yelled trying to knee him in the back but I was at a bad angle.

SMACK.

I was dazed for a moment. He hit me. He slapped me across the face. My left cheek stung like needles were stabbing at the skin. Then I realized, he wasn't on me anymore. He wasn't even touching me. Slowly I sat up cradling my cheek with my right hand staring blindly ahead of me where the sound of ragged breathing was coming from.

"You have no right to call me that." He said flatly.

"You had no right to touch me like that." I shot back.

* * *

I returned to my room after that. Jonathan said nothing and I was left to stumble and trip my way to the door. I locked myself inside my room and hissed curses and hexes towards his room as I returned to my still uncompleted homework. Why was I staying here again? Why was I _so_ worried about that jerk again? What could I fucking do anyway to help that manner-less asshole?

_Oh yeah, that's right. I was trying to preform a god damn miracle. Be some righteous angel to save a damned soul. Well it wasn't WORKING!_

That night I shoved my headphones into my ears not to block out lustful sounds but to over power the thoughts that wouldn't shut up in my head.

* * *

"Get out of my house!"

"I live here too!"

"Children shut up! It's Saturday."

"Kick her out!"

"Drop dead!"

"Shut up!"

"Bitch!"

"Don't forget about Hockey practice!"

"Children it's Saturday, shut your annoying little faces!"

"I don't need you reminding me about practice!"

"Yeah you do. You're already late!"

"JONATHAN!"

"I'm leaving now!"

That was our Saturday morning. No different than any other. Sebastian throwing a fit, Valentine hungover complaining from his bedroom, and me preparing both of their lunches before the always late cook arrived. When I finally finished I set out to work. Pandemonium maybe a bar but it is also a regular hangout for the high school kids during the day. They play pool or darts or just sit around eating our pathetic nachos and chicken wings. Did I mention I hate working Saturdays? Because I do I really do, I become more of a therapist than a bartender.

* * *

**Please leave a review. They're greatly welcomed, and wanted. I hoped you enjoyed it and is helping people get into the story, because it has an excellent plot line and plenty of twists turns and characters from Nervous Glitter Tornado popping over to add action drama and complicated romances. Again please review ^^**


	3. Chapter 3: I Hate Saturdays

**I hate Saturdays**

I hate working Saturdays. I hate people my age. I hate flirtatious jocks. I hate couples. I hate it all!

"Yo bartender! Another pitcher for the table." Called an obnoxious hockey player. I don't know which one it was but it doesn't matter, they are all loud mouth muscle heads.

It was after practice and Pandemonium seemed to be their choice of hangout today. Normally it's the basketball team, but it looks like they were beat. I nodded towards the laughing and chatting group gathered around several tables while I grabbed a pitcher from under the counter. Filling half way with ice then using the tap to fill it with part Sprite and part cherry juice and a splash of strawberry rum. Raphael loves pushing the law, and of course I do my best to put as little alcohol in underage kids' drinks as possible.

"Here." I said setting the pitcher on the table as I grabbed the now empty one. At the table sat several of the most annoying hockey players, Jace Lightwood, and his small redheaded girlfriend -I think- Eric something-or-other, Sebastian Verlac, and Zeke -I can't remember his last name.

"Always so helpful." Zeke smirked and grabbed my ass.

I slapped his hand away, as I put on a sour smile. "Wanna try that again, and you'll be dealing with my boss."

"Feisty." Zeke chuckled going to grab again.

"Leave her alone Zeke." It was Mark Blackthorn, sitting in the booth right behind the pervert. He was half kneeling half standing grabbing Zeke's wrist stopping his wayward act. Mark is probably the only jock that I can stand, he's respectful and doesn't act like a pompous ass.

Zeke pulled his arm free and crossed his arms over his chest like a sulking child. "Whatever."

"Thanks." I smiled to Mark as I brushed my hair from my eyes. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

Mark's mismatched eyes sparkled slightly as he smiled back. "I'm good, thanks."

"Hey!"

My smiled dropped and I had to suppress the urge to groan and stomp away.

It was Jonathan in the middle of Mark's booth, a girl on either side of him, and his devilish smile in place. At least he was sitting over there instead of with Jace, dear god that would be asking for hell.

"Yeah." I replied putting a hand on my hip.

"Get us a bottle of wine." He ordered and the girls giggled.

I forced back the harsh words I want to answer with, reminding myself that I was at work and not at home. "We don't serve wine."

His smile broke and he was glaring at me. "What bar doesn't have wine?"

"This one."

"Hard cider?" He inquired.

"No."

"What the hell. Fine give me a beer." He groaned leaning back in the booth.

"What about us?" The blond girl whined at him, while the brunette pouted.

"I don't care, order something." He said sounding annoyed.

"Shirley temples." The blonde cheered and the brunette nodded happily.

"Coming up." I sighed turning back for the bar where Raphael was pretending to clean off the counter. He was watching the hockey team and their friends awfully closely.

"Two virgin Shirley temples." I said as I sat the empty pitcher aside and grabbed a beer stern and began filling it with a light beer.

"Virgin?" Raphael asked but he was already making the drinks.

"They don't need their judgement impaired anymore. It's ditz-city over there." I said matter-of-factly. I grabbed a small tray and sat the beer on it, then Raphael placed the red drinks on it.

"Aren't you caring." He smirked as I lifted the tray and balanced it on the palm of my hand.

"You know me better than that, Santiago." I laughed as I made my way back over to Jonathan and his bimbos.

"Enjoy." I said serving the drinks. The girls hummed happily and Jonathan only stared at his beer like it might bite him. Stuck-up rich boy.

"Thank you Mira." Mark said even though I didn't bring him anything.

I smiled at him. "No problem." He's always so kind.

"Is our studious captain flirting over there?" Called Jace and the whole team laughed. Mark's face turned red as he looked down at his hands.

"So Zeke can't touch but you can?" Sebastian teased and the laughter rose again.

I have a hard time controlling my tongue, and this was one of those moments. I stomped over to the annoying table and slammed my hands onto it, rattling the ice inside glasses, and causing the wood to creak. "Seriously you guys are so annoying. How many of you here are actually with a girl?" Jace smirked as his arm went around his girlfriend. "Yeah and how many times have _you two_ broken up? God you guys annoy the hell out of me. All of you. Grabbing my ass, flirting, laughing at your teammates. Assholes, all of you!" I growled clenching my hands into fists as I straightened my back.

The redhead under Jace's arm jumped to her feet leaning across the table glaring at me. "What do you know? You're just a bartender. You have no right to judge any of us!" She shot back.

"So I'm just suppose to stay quiet while they all treat girls horribly and let me tell you your boyfriend is no different. Kissing Penhallow behind the library last week and god knows who else." I returned fire.

The angry green eyes moved away from me and to Jace who looked nauseous and refused to meet her gaze. That sent off a chain reaction, the redhead slapped Jace and pushed her way out of the booth and out of Pandemonium. Jace chased after her and his team stared after him with snickers and wide eyes. I started to make my way back to the bar where Raphael was silently laughing his head off. Tears were forming in his eyes as he slapped his leg trying to stop his laughter.

"Was it really that funny?" I asked setting the tray back under the counter.

"It was, and then some." He chuckled straightening his spine and wiping at his eyes.

"And you owe me twenty bucks." Lily said stepping out of the kitchen. Her blue hair was pulled into a bun atop of her head and she was carrying a tub of clean dishes.

"Were you two betting on me again?" I hissed.

They smiled at each other then looked back at me as Raphael took a twenty out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"I thought you would last another hour, guess I was wrong." He said as Lily kissed the money then slipped it into her apron that looked just like mine.

I sighed and slumped against the counter with my face in my hands. "Why am I the source of your entertainment? Can't you just get cable TV installed instead." I grumbled.

"Because your heart is always in the right place but your mouth just can't follow." Lily giggled as she patted my shoulder.

I didn't move. My anger still boiling under the surface along with the slight embarrassment that I just yelled at a bunch of boys that were still in the room probably talking about me. **I hate Saturday.**

"Umm, Mira?"

"What now?" I groaned looking up to see Mark. Not at all who I thought it was. I figured it was Sebastian or Eric trying to be funny, but not Mark. _Oh god I probably embarrassed him. What guy wants a girl defending them. He's probably here to tell me off. Saturdays! _"Sorry. What did you want?" I said quickly, trying to amend my rudeness.

He stepped closer to the bar, and I looked beside me to see Raphael and Lily trying to eavesdrop. "Can we talk when you get off work?" He asked in an even tone. Was he mad? He hid it well if he was?

"Y-Yeah. Is this about earlier? I'd apologize if I was sorry, but I'm really not." I said gripping the edge of the bar.

Mark quirked a smile. "It is but you don't have to apologize. They deserved that. They are annoying little brats."

"Oh... Then yeah. I get off in two hours." I said feeling my cheeks flush.

"I'll wait for you then." Mark said with a kind smile then made his way back to his team.

I stared after him in shock. Did that just happen? I couldn't believe Mark just asked that of me. . ._ Is Jonathan glaring at me again? _I thought to myself as I looked around Mark and the others, and sure enough Morgenstern was glaring at me with black eyes and a crease in his brow. What did I do to him? I yelled at everyone in general.

I shook it off and turned my attention back to work. Or tried to. Lily and Raphael had closed in and were caging me against the bar with devilish looks on their faces. I leaned away from them slightly concerned for my safety, and sanity.

"Was that a date invitation we just heard?" Lily hummed wiggling her pierced eyebrows.

"No." I answered slowly. _Was it?_

"I think it was." Raphael chuckled turning away and heading to the kitchen.

"It so was. Gosh high school kids are so cute." Lily giggled wrapping me in one of her super tight and unexpected hugs. My face was squished into her cleavage and I struggled to get free.

"Back to work!" Raphael ordered from the kitchen and Lily dropped me.

She returned to stacking cups and glasses under the counter while I went to the broom across the room. As I began cleaning I thought about what my idiotic boss and manager said. Had Mark asked me out on a date? It would be my first time for anything like that to happen. I started to get excited. I peeked at the hockey players, they all ignored my presence except Mark who shot me sweet smiles when our eyes met, and Jonathan whose hostility was emanating like a black cloud. I ignored him. Mark had caught my attention, and Raphael and Lily had me curious about his invitation.

_Maybe Saturdays aren't so bad._

* * *

**Leave a review, I beg you please. ^^ hope you enjoyed. more drama on your way in a few days.**


	4. Chapter 4: I Don't Call It Home

**I Don't Call It Home**

Slowly over the next two hours the hockey players began to leave. First it was Zeke and Eric complaining that I wasn't servicing them anymore, and that was because they had had plenty to drink and Raphael had cut them off. Dumbasses didn't need to stumble home in the middle of the day. Then the others began following getting bored or had other places to be. Jonathan left with his two -not drunk- girls glaring and grumbling something that I didn't care enough to listen to. Mark was still there and I was surprised he was staying the two whole hours. His whole team was gone when I finally got off work, Lily had charged out of the kitchen when I called my farewell.

"What?" I gasped almost falling backwards to avoid her sudden closeness.

"Here. Be careful, you never know." She smiled folding something into the palm of my left hand.

"Huh?" I stated peeling my fingers away from it but when I saw the shiny foil corner I clamped my hand around it like it was a live grenade. "What the hell?" I hissed at her.

"Think of it as a sisterly gesture." She giggled as she walked away.

I peeked sideways at Mark who was waiting by the door and felt my face go hot with embarrassment. I don't get embarrassed easily, but looking at the guy who asked to talk to me while holding a condom in my hand was definitely an embarrassing situation. I hurried to get my backpack from the cupboard and slipped the foil packet into one of the smaller pockets.

"I'm off!" I called again meeting Mark by the door. He smiled down at me as he opened the door for me like a gentleman. I didn't think guys still did things like this. Jonathan would never do it unless he was kicking someone out of the place.

"How often do you work there?" He asked as we made our way down the street. Mark was leading and he was heading in the opposite direction of the bus stop. Where were we going? Was I going to be home in time to have the Morgenstern's weekend chef's delicious dinner? It was definitely a perk of living with high class loving guys.

"Just about everyday." I answered fiddling with the strap of my backpack. It gave me something to focus on instead of fretting over where he was leading me. It was Mark, he was a nice guy.

"Wow, that means you're always busy." He sounded surprised.

"Yup." I nodded. I don't deny it. I work my ass off every day of every week to live on. Though the destination of that work is yet to be found.

We turned a corner onto another street that also had very few pedestrians.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" I asked looking up at him.

Mark looked down at me with his gold and blue eyes and a very serious expression. It caught my attention. "I'm really sorry about my team. They're all immature, and I'm really sorry they harassed you like that. Also thank you for standing up to them, most girls just go along with it and it only causes more problems later on." His shoulders slumped and he released a sigh saying, "Jonathan being one of the biggest problems. And Jace and his fan club, but Jonathan. . ."

"You don't have to say anymore. I know. " I said patting his shoulder sympathetically. "Lightwood is a pain in the ass, but Morgenstern is pretty off the charts."

"You have no idea." Mark groaned tossing his head back, and his pale hair flew through the air shining like stands of pale gold.

"No I think I do." I mumbled to myself.

"Sorry for holding you up for just this." He said looking at me with a sheepish expression. "But I just wanted you to know."

"Thanks." Was all I could say.

We made it to the end of the street before he spoke again. "You're really strong Mira. I think you might be the only girl I know that would willing take on an entire sports team all alone just to right their morals. Well you and my younger sister Emma, but she doesn't count." He chuckled.

I stared down at my shoes debating if what he said was a compliment or a subtle insult on my lack of being girly. I didn't wear skirts. I didn't like makeup. I wasn't afraid of getting a blood stain on my clothes. I most certainly was not girly. "Yeah probably." I replied scuffing the heel of my shoe against the pavement.

_'Sit Back Now_  
_Let Me Tell You A Tale_  
_Where Justice Does Not Prevail_

_About An Ill-Fated Life_  
_So Very Full Of Strife_  
_Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right'_

"What is that?" Mark gaped as my phone continued to ring.

_'So_

_When I Was Born_  
_I Did Surely Scorn_  
_My Proud Parent's Name_  
_Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain_  
_Drove Them_ Insane'

"Personalized ring tone." I answered as I finally managed to pull my cell out of my pocket. I paused wondering why this person was calling me all of a sudden, then I tried to remember when we exchanged numbers but I couldn't place the time.

_'My Birth Was A Curse_  
_I Bit The Nurse_  
_Oh, But I Love The Worst_  
_I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed_  
_Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse'_

I shook my head and flipped the phone open and pushed it to my ear. "What?" I grumbled.

Mark looked at me curiously, probably wondering who would have such a horrible ringtone on my phone. I was going to do my best not to say his name and not have Mark know, if he found out who called there would be a lot of questions that I wasn't about to answer. Ever.

"Don't what me!" Spat Jonathan on the other end of the call. "You're late, get over here and make dinner!" He ordered.

"What happened to your stupid chef?" I shot back.

"Quit. Now get back here and cook." He demanded in his superior tone that makes me want to punch him in the face, repeatedly.

"Quit? What did you do?" I accused.

"Nothing." He defended.

I narrowed my eyes at a street sign like it was Jonathan himself. "You slept with his daughter didn't you?" I challenged flatly.

"No." He growled.

"Wife?"

"And niece." He grumbled and my right hand clenched around my phone. I really was looking forward to a decent meal tonight instead of something quick that I find after work. Now I have to cook for two men that annoy the hell out of me.

"Damn you!" I yelled and Mark next to me jumped back startled. "Damn you. Goddamn you! Why can't you keep it in your pants? All I want is one meal a week that I don't cook, but you have to fuck it up don't you? DAMN YOU!"

"What Blackthorn didn't take you on a date?" He sneered back without pause.

"IT'S NOT A DATE."

"So you'll be here to cook." He stated darkly.

"FUCK YOU."

"I thought I was damned?"

I pulled my phone away from my ear and snapped it closed. "Gah! I hate him!" I growled frustratingly. I shoved my phone back into my pocket then spun around and kick the post of a street sign with the toe of my shoe. The impact sang up my leg and my toes cried in pain. I ignored it as I began stomping off towards the bus stop.

"Who was that?" Mark asked hurrying after me.

"The devil and his demanding ways." I replied.

"Brother?" He inquired and I came to an abrupt halt. He stumbled back to face me.

"He _is not_ my brother." I corrected darkly. Not in this life or the next. I would never be related to such an asshole.

"Step-brother?" Mark raised a brow.

"Not even." Looking into his eyes I could see he was only curious, but that only got the cat killed. "Look I have to go. Sorry that you over heard that, and thanks for the apology. I appreciate it." I started to walk past him.

He grabbed my arm and stopped my getaway. "Wait, is it you're father? Is it safe to go home?"

"I'm not going home." I answered without thinking.

"Then where-"

"Mark I have to go, can you let go?" I said shaking the arm he held.

His face reddened and he dropped his hand. "Sorry."

"No problem. Bye!" I called as I took off down the street. I didn't run to make it to the bus stop sooner, or to get to the Morgenstern's quicker. I ran so I could yell and punch Jonathan. I ran to check on him- he sounded calmer than usual. I ran because that's what my brain told my body to do. So I ran.

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**Hope you guys enjoyed. Please leave a review. ^^ In the next chapter you'll see why Jonathan was acting weird and how Mira reacts to it.**

**The ringtone is the song Such Horrible Things by Creature Feature.**


	5. Chapter 5: Parents

**Parents**

I was fuming when I got on the bus. I was so mad I nearly tore off a pervert's hand when he groped my butt. My stop couldn't come soon enough and when it did I bolted from the hot smelly public transportation vehicle and ran to the loft. My heart was pounding and my pulse could be heard in my ears. I was beyond angry and was nursing the heated feeling towards full out rage, and Jonathan was my target. I had had enough. His groping in the dark, his team's harassing me at work, his constant bad attitude at home. I couldn't take it anymore, I was going to knock him down a peg. Show him that I'm not some pathetic little girl he can push around and tease.

Something caught my eye as I charged inside the lobby of the building. It was around the corner by the boiler room. I don't know what possessed me to stop my pursuit of Jonathan but I stopped running and back tracked to peek around the corner. It was dark down the small hall, the over head lights burnt out and no one cared enough to replace them. Voices floated out of the darkness, one I recognized, but the other was an unknown woman's.

"I told you not to call the house!" She hissed.

"I have every right to. You can't keep her from the truth." Valentine replied in his deep threatening voice. It was that of a lawyer facing a stubborn judge, it was full of self-confidence and arrogance.

"Yes I can, if only you would just butt out. You're not apart of our family. You're nothing to us." The woman spat and I saw a twinkle of gold in the darkness. "We're getting married. We're done with you Morgensterns."

"How can you be done with us?" Valentine challenged darkly. "You house one. And what of Jonathan? Can you really be done with him?" A chill ran down my spine from his tone. It reminded me why I never talk back to him or ever say something that would piss him off. He's a scary character that practically holds my life in the palm of his hand. At any moment he could choose to throw me out on the street without a second thought.

"Y-Yes. I have to. You've made your choices and I have made mine." She declared with a slightly shaky resolve. "Stay out of our lives or I'll call the police." She warned.

The sounds of footsteps started towards me and my body moved on it's own for my own safety. I hurried back around the corner and towards the elevator where I smack the call button and pretended that I had just gotten there. I crossed my arms over my chest and impatiently tapped my foot waiting for the lift to arrive like I usually do when I just want to get to my bed and sleep. Listening to the shoes slap against the tile of the lobby floor I waited for Valentine and his secret guest to come into view. I peeked sideways at them as the woman started for the door. She was in overalls covered in paint stains, not exactly the type of person I pictured Valentine with... Her hair was an orange-ish red held back with an everyday pencil. She was purposely avoiding looking at Valentine as he guided her to the door like a gentleman. He seemed entirely focused on the petite woman but maybe it was because I was looking at them that he turned to peer at me.

"Ah, Mira you're back awfully early." He commented and the woman stopped with the lobby door open and one foot outside. She whirled around to look at me and her bright green eyes pierced into me like an accusation.

"Umm, yeah I guess." I replied turning to face them completely. Valentine looked as if this situation was the most causal thing in the world while the woman reacted like there was a three headed dog in the room.

"W-Who ar-re you?" The woman stuttered as she continued to stare at me.

I opened my mouth to reply but Valentine beat me to it. "This is Mira Tyler, she's renting the spare room in the loft. She's been quite helpful over the last year."

"I have?" I questioned without thinking.

Valentine's dark eyes narrowed at me and I shut my mouth. His female guest looked from me to him and back again. Her angry expression turned to one of motherly concern and worry. It gave me goosebumps. I wasn't used to those kind of feelings, or that look. It was foreign and strange.

"She looks like a high schooler." The woman stated. Her hand that gripped the door handle tightened making her knuckles white and her fingers tremble from the force.

"She's in the same grade as _your_ daughter." He replied and another shiver went down my spine.

The woman gasped and it sounded like, "Dear god." But I wasn't sure, they were to far off and she had turned away from me covering her face with her free hand.

Just then the elevator doors opened and I was freed from the oddly tense and uncomfortable atmosphere. I, without saying anything, stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. As the doors closed I heard the woman yell, loud and full of hate, "You bastard! You dare replace her with an innocent child!"

I stared at the reflective surface of the closed doors as I was lifted up to the top of the building. I looked confused. And stressed. My forehead was creased and my hair was a disaster, falling out of the high ponytail I had put it in that morning. That woman said a lot of weird things. _Who was she? Valentine's ex-wife probably. But what did she mean she was done with the Morgensterns? Isn't she Jonathan's mother? Some mother._

The elevator doors opened and I stepped out absentmindedly digging through my backpack for my keys. My head spun around the scene I witness down stairs. If that woman was indeed Jonathan's mother then I might have sympathy for Valentine and Jonathan. She gave no reasons to be left alone. She was even abandoning her son. How old had Jonathan been when she left? Did he miss her? Would therapists call his behavior "acting out" to get attention? I had thought Jonathan had chosen to stay with his father because his mother was much worse, but apparently that wasn't the case. She had purposely left him behind, and wanted nothing to do with him, so maybe she was worse than Valentine. I finally managed to find my keys and unlocked the front door as my mind continued to circle and fill with questions.

"About time!" Groaned Jonathan from the living room. He was sprawled across the couch with his feet perch on the back of it and his arms folded under his head.

For a moment my anger and annoyance flared up and I knocked his feet from the back of the couch as I past him on my way to the kitchen. After that I calmed down, my will to argue and shed blood faded. My body refused to attack Jonathan after hearing what I did downstairs, and the possible conclusions I came to. Some things just aren't worth making a big deal of when there were real problems to handle.

"What the hell!" He hissed sitting up and glaring at me. I dropped my backpack onto the breakfast nook as I past and began rummaging in the fridge for something to make for dinner.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked as I noticed the cook had at least done the shopping before quitting. The fridge was fully stocked and there were plenty of possibilities.

"Huh?" He groaned and I popped my head up above the half wall that separate the kitchen from the living room.

"I asked what you wanted? Unless you called me only to say you weren't hungry and to bug the hell out of me." I said leaning my arms against the wall. He looked confused and it was a first for me to see him make such a face. I chortled.

He glared at me. "You're not screaming. Or cursing me up a wall." He noted flatly.

"Yeah." I replied raising a brow.

"You chewed my head off over the phone." He added.

"Yeah." I repeated.

His black eyes narrowed and I just continued to stared back at him with curiosity. Where was he going to go with this?

"I want chicken. Make it." He ordered flopping back onto the couch staring up at the ceiling.

I sighed not the least bit surprised he gave up on his interrogation of my attitude. He didn't care and I knew that. I turned for the fridge again pulling out a package of chicken breasts and some eggs, I figured breaded chicken was a good idea. I began with washing my hands then all the veggies that were going along with dinner. It wasn't until I began cutting the chicken in half that I found the silence awkward. Jonathan was just laying on the couch without even the TV on. I thought he would have disappeared inside his room by now, or left to go pick up girls just to annoy me, but no. He was still there, quiet, still, and almost haunting.

"Why'd you sleep with the chef's wife and niece?" I asked to fill the silence. I probably could have come up with a better topic if I had tried, but my mouth had other ideas, like getting me killed.

"Because they asked me to." He answered flatly. My hands stopped moving, knife mid-way through the chicken, and my head snapped around to look at him.

"And you just accepted?" I inquired shocked. I always thought Jonathan was the engager not the one being asked. He's always looking for another girl to fool around with it just seemed it was always him, not the girls.

"I was bored and didn't have any reasons to decline them." He said matter-of-factly.

I had nothing to say to that so I returned to making dinner. How could that woman sleep with her husband's employer's son? Why do women do that? Sleep around and leave the person they said they loved, it makes me sick. I hate it. Valentine's ex-wife is no different, leaving him for his best friend and abandoning her son like he doesn't matter. I slammed the pan of chicken into the oven along with the door.

"I hate parents." I growled to myself as I turned to the chopped veggies I was going to make salad with.

"Really?" Jonathan said sarcastically from the the archway of the kitchen. I jumped startled. I hadn't heard him get up from the couch. "Because you being here instead of with your family says so much."

"Shut up." I said turning away from him.

"Oh is your attitude back?" He teased.

I glared down at the pile of veggies instead of him. If I glared at him I would only be giving him what he wanted, the satisfaction that he had managed to get to me. To annoy me. To make me mad. "Just shut up and go away. Dinner will be done in forty-five minutes." I replied flatly.

"Why should I go when we finally have a topic we finally agree on." He took a step towards me a devilish smile on his handsome face. "Parents suck. I hate mine too."

I whirled around anger and hatred surging through me. "You annoying bastard! SHUT UP. You don't know anything." I yelled running past him. I didn't stop until I reached my room. I locked my door and punched my pillows. "I hate this! I hate this!" I hissed collapsing onto my bed. I didn't want to get mad at him. I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at everyone in the world. Especially me. I hate me. I really hate me.

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**Please leave a review, and I hoped you enjoyed. **


	6. Chapter 6: It's Just Starting

**It's Just Starting**

A month past by after that strange and most definitely hated Saturday. Valentine hired a new cook, an older man who didn't appear to have any close family, and Jonathan and I continued our bickering and fights. Nothing had change. Well maybe I changed, or at least how I look at Jonathan has. He's not just some spoiled brat that does whatever to who ever he wants. He's an abandoned child that has serious emotional issues to work out. . .

So like I said a month had past by, and I was working even more now. The holiday season was coming up and everyone had relatives coming into town, which meant Pandemonium was packed with traveling teens. Raphael was complaining that I didn't take enough time off, but I just ignored him and continued to work every day serving the hockey players that had made the bar their new current hangout. And every day I had to beat Zeke's hand away from my ass, and suffer the dark glares from my fellow Junior who had once again plastered herself to Jace Lightwood's side. I had learned her name was Clary Fray and that she was taking most Senior classes to be with her boyfriend more. I thought that that was a stupid reason since they always seemed to be fighting over something one week but then okay the next. It left me dizzy to even think about.

It was November and the air had cooled to the point were I had to start wearing a winter coat that only made me sweat to death when I was on the bus but left me freezing while walking the several blocks to and from the bar. Some days after I got off work I would bump into Mark Blackthorn and we would walk to the bus stop together, or stop at a coffee shop to just chat. Apparently he lives nearby with his large family. One of the nights he was with his sister, Helen, who was dating Aline Penhallow now that the drama with her kissing Jace had blown over, or something like that. I don't care for listening to drama, it only makes more of it. Helen's a nice person with inhumanly blue-green eyes.

It was a Wednesday in mid-November when things seemed to completely flip on me. I was in the middle of my shift, the hockey team screwing around in their booths, Lily in the back washing dishes, and Raphael chatting it up with Johnny a new regular that had taken to dropping by during the week. I was wiping down the other tables listening to the loud blabbering of the jocks, there was a comment from Eric about my ass and I had to restrain the urge to throw the smelly old rag at his face. I don't understand the male's fascination with a girls rear, not exactly a turn on if you ask me. I was passing by their table when someone brought up the subject of their first game.

"You're going right, Clary?" Sebastian asked leaning across the table.

Jace pushed him back as he said, "Of course she's going. She's my lucky charm." Her freckle spotted face turned bright red as she cuddled into his side. I just rolled my eyes and kept walking.

"Hey, Tyler!" Zeke called, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping. _God seeing them every other day was slowing killing all my resolve and self-restraint._

Turning around I muttered, "What?"

The spiky haired guy beamed, "You coming to see us crush St. Nicholas' team tomorrow?"

"No." I replied without pause. Zeke frowned.

"Why not?" Eric whined pouting his bottom lip.

"Because I have work." I answered flatly.

"You can have off!" Raphael called from behind the bar. I shot him a lethal glare but he only half smiled in return.

"See! Now will you come?" Sebastian piped in and I was sure I would end my day strangling one of the three annoying bastards.

"I said no." I huffed, irritated.

That's when Mark turned around in his booth with a friendly smile and said, "You don't have to come, but it would be cool if you did. We have a get together afterward to celebrate, and it's pretty fun. You should come."

Flatly rejecting the "Annoying Bastards" is easy and comes without any worries of hurt feelings because they bounce back so fast- rejection being apart of their daily lives anyway- but rejecting Mark was completely different. I like him, he's a nice guy, and I guess I consider him a friend now. We talk regularly, we share the occasional text message, so brushing him off like some idiot was out of the question. The other issue was declining his polite and very appealing invitation. Raphael had practically backed me up into a corner saying I could have tomorrow off. _Asshole boss._

With a long sigh of complete and utter defeat I answered, "Okay, I'll go."

Laughing started from the middle of Mark's booth, it was sharp and dark and I knew exactly who it was. "The mighty Blackthorn has a date." He chuckled and that got the whole team going.

The wet rag in my hand suddenly felt very light and my shoulder hurt slightly. It took my brain a second to realize why. The rag was no longer in my hand, I had thrown it hard and fast at Jonathan. It hit him right in the face and now hung there dripping down the front of his shirt. I leaped back knowing what was waiting for me on the other side of that filthy piece of cloth. Hell, and possibly my soul chained to a bowling ball that would be dropped to the bottom of the ocean. Dear god did I do it this time.

"Are you okay?" It was Clary. She was kneeling in her booth reaching over the back of Mark's to Jonathan. She pulled the rag from his head while everyone just stopped and stared. Jace looked infuriated, while Jonathan's expression left me dumbfounded. He didn't look upset or angry, in fact he looked just as surprise as the others.

I had never seen Clary and Jonathan talk before. They always seemed like the types that would have nothing to do with the other because Jace and Jonathan were hardcore rivals. Now looking at her and her concerned expression it was clear that their worlds were connected, not just by the common link: Jace Lightwood.

"I'm fine." He replied flatly turning away from her. His black eyes were on me and I could clearly see the dark flames of anger flickering in them. I was dead. Dead and buried.

Clary turned around in her booth and tossed the rag at me. I caught it easily as she said, "That was completely uncalled for. You're even at work."

My hand clenched around the rag as my temper rose again and I could feel my mouth forming words that my brain had not accepted as a reply. That wasn't going to stop my tongue though, causing trouble was it's specialty apparently. "Outsiders shouldn't get involved." I stated glaring back at her. Her bright green eyes against my pale hazel.

"That's enough Tyler." Jonathan broke in darkly.

I gaped. Was he defending her? Jonathan Morgenstern doesn't defend anyone but himself. What the hell was going on here?!

"No she's right." Now it was Jace. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was staring intently at his empty glass. "Clary wasn't involved in that conversation. That was between Mira, Mark, and Morgenstern." His tone was flat and cold. Clary visibly flinched away.

"Jace-" She began to say but he brushed her off with a quick fierce sideways glance.

After that everyone fell silent and I used my job as an excuse to leave. Raphael raised a brow at me as I dumped the rag into the bucket under the bar. I just shook my head as I returned to cleaning. It wasn't long after that when the jocks began leaving in groups. Like usual Mark hung back and waited for me to get off. I don't get why, but it's nice not being completely alone waiting for a smelly cramped old bus.

"You'll still come right?" He asked as we stepped out if Pandemonium. The air was cold and the city lights blocked out the stars over head.

"Huh?" Was my reply.

"To the hockey game. It starts at seven." He explained. His mismatched eyes looking down at me with hope and something else I couldn't place.

"I don't think I should go." I said turning my gaze back to the path ahead of us. "I crossed a line today, and it's clear Jonathan and Clary don't want me there."

"Who cares about Clary, she's a tag-along. And as for Jonathan he never wants anyone around. He's a sour grape." Mark blurted out. It was so unlike him.

I laughed. A real good long laugh that I hadn't had in quite a while. "Who says sour grapes anymore?" I said between laughing and wiping the tears from my eyes.

Mark's cheeks turn even more red, clearly not all from the cold nighttime air. "It was the first thing that came out." He murmured pulling the collar of his jacket up like it would help fight off the cold.

"But still," I giggled. "It's such an old saying."

I looked back up at him and his expression was no longer of embarrassment, but now of contentment. My laughter faded as blood rushed to my cheeks. What was going on?

"Good you can still laugh. I thought Morgenstern killed your humor." He said and a lump formed in the pit of my stomach. What was going on? This feeling was all warm and fuzzy and totally foreign.

I yanked my wool cap tight around my head using the moment to cover my face from him. "He's just a pain in the ass. And like all pain, it passes." I said dropping my eyes to my beat-to-hell sneakers, watching them scuff against the sidewalk and kick aside the stray soda can or fast food wrapper.

"Very modernly wise words." Mark commented. And we both laughed again.

By the time we reached the bus stop the bus was just arriving and I hurried forward to get on it, but something caught at my backpack pulling me back. Looking over my shoulder it was Mark with a nervous expression on his face. He dropped his hand as he stepped around me never breaking eye contact.

"So I can expect to see you tomorrow? At the game?" He asked shoving his hands into his jeans pockets.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't have anything better to do now that I don't have work." I answered shrugging my shoulders.

"Great." He smiled. Before I could comprehend what was happening Mark was leaning down and kissed my cheek. It was a quick peck that sent a fresh round of blood flooding to my cheeks. "I can't wait." He said taking off down the street while I stiffly made my way to the idling bus.

_What the hell was that?_ I exclaimed inside my head as I took a surprisingly free seat in the front of the bus. I felt dizzy and my heart was pounding in my chest, but it wasn't with affection. I was so confused. I never expected that from Mark. I gripped my stomach as it did unsteadying flips. _What am I going to do tomorrow if he does that again? No wait, what am I going to do about Jonathan when I get home? He's bound to still be mad, and out for revenge._

"Ugh." I groaned gripping my abdomen tighter.

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**Please leave a review and thank you for reading. I hope that the story is interesting and has all of you itching to know what is going on with the Morgensterns. ^^ the next chapters will come out quickly becauEd this is my favorite part of the story. Actually this whole chunk is what inspired me to make a spinoff.**


	7. Chapter 7: Hockey Game

**Hockey Game**

Luck was on my side that night as I snuck into the Morgenstern loft. Jonathan wasn't there and I managed to make it to my room and lock the door without being skinned alive by the devil. Though I didn't get much sleep worrying about Jonathan breaking down my door to steal my soul, and the surprise kiss from Mark. It was just so sudden and out of the blue. I never thought that Mark would be so forward. By morning dark circles had formed under my eyes and my concern for my own safety was overpowered by the worry that Mark would try the same thing tonight after the game.

I was walking into the kitchen when I received an order. "Make me breakfast." Jonathan was laying on the couch fully dressed and his signature smirk in place. I jumped back into the kitchen startled and preparing for his charging wrath, but it didn't come.

"Breakfast?" I said leaning against the half wall that separated the two rooms. _What happened to him last night? Is he no longer mad?_

"I want eggs, sunny-side up, and bacon, and orange juice. You better get started or we'll be late for school." He replied casually flipping through TV channels. I was at a complete lose. This was very un-Jonathan-like, especially after what I did to him last night. He's the King of Revenge, and I've come to accept that I'm at the top of that vengeance list along with Jace, but I don't know what the issue is there.

My commonsense was with me today. I didn't stop and question his sudden mood-swing and why he wasn't on me about yesterday. I just made him his breakfast, and my own then rushed to get ready for school. He didn't say anything else as he ate, and like usual he was gone before me. I don't know what made him change his mind about his revenge but I sent a grateful thanks to the gods above.

* * *

School ticked by too quickly for me. I was hoping for a day that seemed to never end, so I could brace myself before seeing Jonathan, or Mark again, but my luck seemed to wear out with this mornings Heaven sent blessing of my life remaining in-tacked. I still had several hours to kill before the hockey game started but that didn't seem to help because I some how got sucked into a group of girls that were also going to the game. Of course the group was orchestrated by the ever popular Isabelle Lightwood, she's also in my year and I don't like her all that much. With Isabelle was Clary Fray and Maia Roberts- who I guess was just tagging along, but actually hated hockey. There were many others who I didn't even try to remember their names. They were all giggling and comparing the players like eye candy._ I curse the Annoying Bastards that suggested to Isabelle that she bring me along. They will feel my unholy wrath later tonight. I swear it!_

We were just leaving the restaurant we had used to kill the time until the game, it was a Chinese place that was apparently run by Clary's soon-to-be step-father, who wasn't even Chinese. The only positive of going there was that I learned where Bat worked, and we spent a few minutes talking before he was called back to the kitchen. I hadn't talked much with the girls and I was happy that they didn't talk to me, at least I was until we started for the school.

"So Mira, is it true that you're dating the captain?" It was Isabelle, Queen of Gossip. God did she annoy the hell out of me.

I was ahead of the group wanting to put distance between us, but I paused as I looked back at the pale, black haired beauty of the eleventh grade. "No I'm not. Who even said that?" I replied without any change of expression. Most girls I've seen would have gotten worked up of flustered but I didn't see the point if it wasn't true.

Isabelle smirked and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she looked to Clary who was standing just next to her. The group had stopped walking to watch our encounter. The redhead returned the smile her freckled cheeks turning even more red and not from the cold outside.

"It's a pretty big rumor going around the school; The Forever Single Hockey Captain Has A Girlfriend." Isabelle said it like a news article title.

"Who ever started that clearly doesn't know what they're talking about." I said turning my back to them and started walking again. "I hate rumors, they only cause trouble for the ones involved. I wish people would remember that."

"Hey!" This was Clary. I looked over my shoulder slowing my pace. "What's with the cool girl act? It's really annoying."

"It's not an act. Besides why are you so mad at me? I've never done anything wrong to you." I said stopping my walk again.

"Oh no, what about-" She began to yell, but I cut her off.

"So you didn't want to know that your boyfriend cheated?" I challenged. "Okay, I'll remember that. So don't go blaming me for your issues. I don't like getting involved." I hardened my gaze at her and she just glared back. Green eyes gleaming with anger, but understanding. _Maybe she isn't just another hopeless girl after all._

"Well what about Jonathan?" Clary spat as I started walking once again.

I spun on my heel and without thinking I made my way back towards her. Isabelle looking tall and defensive next to her, but she didn't move. "What about him? Every time you throw yourself into our argument, and it only causes more trouble. We don't need your interference, I can handle myself against him, and he's plenty capable of dealing with a girl. So why don't you just back off!" My voice echoed in the night and I felt the glares of every girl around us. Clary's eyes had widened the pupil consuming the green irises.

I wiped at my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket nervously as I turned away and made my way -alone- to the school. I had startled myself. I had never gotten that worked up before just because of some stupid little comment from a girl. My heart was racing in my chest and my hands were clenched into fists inside my pockets. I wanted to hit something, I really wanted to hit Clary. I couldn't believe myself. Hitting a girl was out of my character, hitting a guy was okay they were bigger and stronger, but a girl! I shook my head as I forced myself to go to the school instead of running to the loft, or to work where I could at least be surrounded by people I liked and could handle.

When I finally made it to the school's hockey rink I hurried to find a seat on the filling stands. I managed to get a seat by the penalty box which was a better seat than I expected. I could see both goals, and the score board perfectly. I saw the girls enter and sit in the front row by the Institute's starting goal, thankfully they didn't see me. I clutched my backpack on my lap as I waited and watched the teams practice and start.

At the beginning I didn't think I would like the sport and probably space-out during it, but by half time I was jumping up with the rest of the crowd cheering and yelling and was having an okay time. Jonathan was put into the penalty twice, and it was by the same player that was beating the hell out of our team. Sebastian had already been taken out of the game for a hurt ankle, and Zeke was nursing a sprained wrist from the way he was holding his stick. At the end of half time and the start of the third quarter was the first goal of the night and it was from our team. Institute-one, St. Nicholas-none. It was more exciting than I thought it would be. After that the players chased the puck back and forth until Jonathan collided with the number 11 from the opposing team, the hell player. They started a fight and Jonathan was once again sent to the penalty box, banging his stick and slamming the door behind him. I looked back to 11 and saw him holding his right side before skating off to the puck drop.

An idea occurred to me as I watched the game start back up. Jonathan had gotten a few good blows on the other player and it would only take one last good hit to keep him down for good. He deserved it for taking out so many of our's and the guys only had to keep them from scoring to win. The third quarter ended and Jonathan still had four minutes left in the penalty box. I scrambled into my backpack to rip out a blank page from a notebook and got a pen. Quickly I wrote _'Elbow his left side. He'll stay down.' _Then I folded it small enough so it would fit between the gap in the protective glass between me and Jonathan. It landed on the bench next to him but he didn't see it, so I banged on the glass.

He turned and glared when he saw it was me.

I ignored the expression and pointed down towards the paper. He looked and picked it up and read it. When he looked back at me I just nodded. Then a buzzer went off and he was dashing out of the small booth. I swear I saw a smirk on his face before he left, but it could have just been my imagination. Jonathan wouldn't look at me like that.

I watched him go onto the ice and head straight for number 11 who had the puck. They quarreled for the puck, slapping hockey sticks and pushing at each other. Then Jonathan got on his left side and brought his elbow back into the other players ribs. He went down hard and didn't get back up while Jonathan made a goal, bringing the Institute to two points. The crowd cheered and I cheered with them. Though when player 11 was taken out of the game it seemed to only put a target on Jonathan's back. He was tripped, pushed, blocked, and at the very end someone bashed their stick into his right hand. No one seemed to notice though as everyone cheered over our victory.

I didn't stick around to watch the pile up or the fangirls throw their "I love you" presents over the side of the protective glass. I went to the lobby of the building where they had been selling refreshments and snacks. They were just cleaning up and there was a cooler full of ice.

"Excuse me." I said to the woman who was wheeling the cooler away. She stopped and offered me a friendly smile. "Can I have some of your ice?" I asked.

"One of you're friends hurt?" She asked kindly.

"Sort of." I replied.

Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a sandwich bag and filled it with the ice. "You're not the first to ask. Happens all the time, kids get so worked up and someone always gets hurt." She laughed lightly handing me the baggy.

"Thanks." I said making sure it was sealed all the way.

I don't know why I got the ice, but it seemed like a good idea as I waited for the team to leave the building. I was sitting on one of the outdoor benches by the exit they were most likely to use when I got a text from Mark.

_'Where are you?'_

I replied with,_ 'Waiting outside the South exit.'_

My phone rang again a moment later._ 'Come to the east lobby.'_

I groaned as I got to my feet and trudged back inside with a freezing hand that held the ice baggy. I heard the team and the girls before I saw them. They were already celebrating their first victory of the season. The lobby was packed with people, but I spotted Jonathan off to the side for once all by himself. He looked arrogantly pleased, but there was also a line of tension in his neck and forehead. He was holding his right hand loosely at his side, it was definitely hurt.

I made my way over to him only to be welcomed with a dark glare.

"Nice hit." I complimented. "I laughed."

"He's just lucky there were refs around." He said tossing his hair out of his face.

"How's your hand?" I asked and he moved his right hand behind his back.

"I'm fine, idiot." He spat and I had the urge to laugh. It was such a childish reaction.

"Don't be stubborn." I said reaching for his hand. He pushed me away with his other hand.

"I don't need help. Just leave me alone." He hissed and I glared back at him.

Then came another Mira-Tyler-lack-of-thinking moment. "Don't be a moron, and stop making people worry about you! Give me your stupid hand." I ordered as I yanked his hand from behind his back. He flinched and cursed under his breath. It was clearly swollen and his knuckles were turning a dark purple-ish black color. They didn't appear to be broken since he was moving his fingers, but I'm not doctor. "Keep this on it, moron." I muttered placing the baggy on his hand. "I'm not always around to watch after you, so don't do anything stupid to make it any worse, or you won't be able to play hockey."

He pulled his hand away using his other to hold the ice to his hurt knuckles. "I don't need you to look after me, or you're help." He growled.

"You're welcome." I replied turning away from him. I knew I wouldn't get a thank you, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was too stubborn for that, but he was using the make-shift ice pack, and that was close enough.

"Annoying brat." He grumbled as I began walking away.

Right I'm just a brat to him. The brat that lives in his house and eats his food. I sighed as I spotted Mark among the chatting crowd. _Oh right I have to deal with Mark too. _My night was never going to end.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, please leave a review. The next chapter will be filled with shocking stuff and you'll see a side of Jonathan you never expected. I'm trying to get the romance going, so excuse the slightly slow beginning. It'll heat up soon. **


	8. Chapter 8: Oh What A Night

**Oh What A Night**

Mark greeted me with a bear hug and a giant smile, he was thrilled about winning their first game just like everyone else. When he released me he managed to herd the mass of people out of the building and down the street to a club like restaurant that I didn't know was so close to the school. As we were being seated I understood why the girls had gone out eating before the game, they didn't want to look like gluttons in front of the guys, and retain their feminine appeals. I mentally laughed at the thought. But the mental hilarity was cut off when I found myself stuck between Jonathan and Mark on one side of the humongous booth, while Jace, Clary, and Isabelle were seated directly across from us. I wasn't going to catch a break tonight, I could just tell.

"Do you want anything, Mira?" Mark asked as the overwhelmed waiter came back to take orders. I pitied the poor guy for having to deal with such a mob.

"Anything carbonated." I replied and he turned to the waiter with the rest of the yelling teens.

"Hey staff!" Jonathan called over the crowd and the whole table went silent. "Throw this out for me." He said tossing the baggy at the guy. He just barely caught the now completely melted bag of ice, and kept it from popping like a water-balloon on himself. Several of the hockey players laughed as the poor worker walked off to fetch the orders and to discard Jonathan's ice-pack.

I peeked down at his hand that sat in the small gap between us and it was still an ugly purple-ish blue color and swollen. I was gripping the provide glass of ice water making my already cold hands even colder to the point where they were almost numb. Jonathan had to get the swelling down to help his hand heal. I don't know what possessed me to make such a secretive yet bold move, but I did it and didn't even look at Jonathan. I took my left hand off my glass of water and put it on the back of his right. I could feel his glare as I waited for him to pull his hand away, but he didn't. His skin was heated, not the least bit chilled by the ice pack he had just been keeping on it. It was also smooth, but I'd imagine the pads of his hands were rough and callused from playing hockey and fighting.

"So what did you think of the game?" Mark asked turning back to me. His smile was still in place and he was clearly pleased with his team.

"It was much more exciting than I imagined. I'd have to say I enjoyed myself." As I spoke I moved my hand across Jonathan's so it was over the main swollen area: his knuckles. My palm laid flat against the back of his hand and my fingers fit easily in the gaps between each knuckle, my pinkie touching his thumb. Maybe this would mean something if we were a couple, or if he even liked me, but we're not, and he doesn't. This is just me doing something without asking to try and help another person_ . . . Then again I don't know if I would do this for anyone else. Jonathan just has an unknown habit of making me worry._

"You thought hockey would be dull?" Mark laughed. I half smiled in response. "Glad we were able to change your view."

"Hey hey hey! Mira!" It was Zeke waving his bandaged hand above his head to get my attention.

"What?" I huffed acknowledging him.

"Wasn't I cool? Glad I made you come, huh?" He said smugly.

"About as cool as a duck." Jonathan muttered under his breath and I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped me. I got weird looks from both Jonathan and Zeke, while Mark continued his happy smiling.

"By the way, great goal Morgenstern." Mark said looking to Jonathan who finally smirked.

"Only natural." He replied arrogantly.

"Yeah but you had to break a guy's ribs to do it." Jace piped in. His arm was wrapped around Clary in a possessive manner, and his golden eyes were firmly fixed with a glare for Jonathan.

"At least I made a goal, Lightwood." Jonathan spat back.

"That's because I'm a team player!" Jace returned fire, and Clary tightened her arm that was wrapped across his chest.

Before Jonathan could make a retort I, without thinking, smoothed my thumb along the side of his hand, in a sort of "calm down" gesture. I think it took Jonathan off guard because his words were halted as he peered sideways at me for only a moment. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, something in me wouldn't allow me to fully face him, as he clenched his teeth and leered across the table.

"Annoying fucker." Was his reply as he leaned against the back of the booth.

I felt like this was an improvement to all his other verbal fights with Jace, so like a well-mannered puppy I patted him, well sort of. We were in public and that would have looked really weird, and I'm fairly sure he would have knocked me out cold if I did. So instead I ran my thumb along the side of his hand twice. It was so clear the temperature difference between our hands, mine like ice and his like fire.

I almost jumped out of my seat when I felt his thumb move along my pinkie, as if in response. I wanted to stare at him wide eyed, but that _thing_ or feeling inside me would not let me. I think I blushed, but I wasn't sure since my face was so hot, so probably, yeah.

_Was this really Jonathan? The guy that curses and yells at me on a regular basis?_ I screamed inside my head. It just didn't feel like reality. And I think I was happy about it.

". . .ir . . . ? Hey Mira?"

"Huh?" I said turning to face Mark. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice he was calling me.

"You okay? You look a little flushed." He said and suddenly his face was too close to me. I leaned as far away as I could without touching Jonathan anymore than I already was.

"I'm fine. It's just really warm in here." I lied and he moved back.

"Oh, yeah." He chuckled as his cheeks turned a light pink color. "I would just feel bad if you got sick when I kind of dragged you along." He explained kindly. His expression was cute, I could understand why girls liked Mark Blackthorn so much. He was always kind and his mismatched eyes were pretty charming how it always felt like two people were looking at you at once with the same emotion. I guess most girls would swoon at that feeling, but I don't think I'm the swooning type. I lack the delicate sweetness of being a girl.

**_"You're unneeded trash. Get out!"_**

I shook my head. The echoing voice faded with the loud chatting of the hockey victory party. My heart had sped up at the remembering of such an unwanted memory. I couldn't remember the last time I had thought about the past, three - four months ago? It's been a while, and I'm fine with not remembering.

**_"That goddamn bitch just had to have you! Ruined my life."_**

I leaned my right elbow on the table and pressed my forehead into the palm. For a moment my head swam, and I just wanted someone in the present to talk to me, to distract me.

**_"That fucking bastard blames me for having you! Well who do you think knocked me up? Stop looking at me like that you little-_**

The voice stopped, no echoing finish just stopped when Jonathan trailed his thumb along my pinkie. My heart calmed and I almost looked at him, but instead I answered back with smoothing my thumb along his hand. He did it again and I responded. I removed my head from my hand and managed to sit up properly. My mind no longer swam with horrid flashbacks and I was lucky that Mark hadn't notice, he was talking to someone on the other side of the table.

That happened many times while we hung out, we never spoke to one another, but one would sooth the other's hand and the other were respond. It continued even after my hand had become warm and the swelling in his hand had gone down. Mark kept up a steady steam of topics with me when he thought I was getting bored, but in fact I was enjoying myself even when I wasn't talking. At one point Sebastian made a joke that "the girl too cool to smile was laughing" and I was laughing. Eric had shot soda out his nose and was complaining like a baby, who wouldn't laugh?

It was getting late and a few of the girls had started leaving or were over by the modern jukebox dancing. I was smiling down at the hand in my lap listening to Jonathan tell a story of when Zeke wiped out in practice, it was funny and Zeke was muttering "Shut up." repeatedly under his breath. Then suddenly my left ankle was in pain. Something collided with it on both sides sandwiching my joint between two strong forces.

"Damnit." I hissed banging my knee on the table as I pulled my leg up away from another collision.

"What happened?" Mark asked startled.

I had to pull my hand off of Jonathan's so I could roll up my pant leg to access the damage, and the moment I did my hand no longer felt warm but once again ice cold. I pushed the lonely thought away as I stared at the gash that appeared just above the inside of my ankle.

"Something hit me." I replied honestly as I grabbed napkins off the table and pressed them to the bleeding wound. It stung like hell.

There was snickering across the table and a sense of dread fell upon me. Peering out from under my lashes I saw Clary and Isabelle whispering to one another, Clary's green eyes looking right at me. _This was their revenge because of earlier? How pathetic. Did they think I wasn't going to say anything? I'm the kind of person that doesn't care if I'm hated by the "in-crowd." I don't care for the in crowd._

"That's bad." Mark said looking down at the red smeared napkins. "Someone ask if this place has a first-aid kit." He called down to someone who could easily get out of the packed booth.

I tilted my leg across my lap to see if the other side was any worse, and thankfully it wasn't. It was skinned and splotchy red, but not nearly as bad as the other side.

"What could have hit you?" Mark inquired mostly to himself.

"More like who." I hissed between my teeth.

"What?" Mark raised a brow.

"I need to get out of here. EVERYONE UP." I ordered down the line of people on Jonathan's, it was shorter and I needed to get to the bathroom to clean the gash. I still couldn't look directly at Jonathan himself, but I knew he would be glaring at me for giving him an order.

People had stared moving when Clary let out another laugh. I stopped my scooching down the vinyl booth to glare at her and Isabelle. "Is this seriously funny to you morons?" I yelled keeping my hand on the napkins to the wound though from the amount of blood they probably would have just stuck there like toilet paper to a shaving cut.

They stopped laughing and smirked at me. "What are you talking about?" Isabelle asked innocently.

"Don't start with me. If you want a fight say it to my face instead of sneak attacks!" I yelled feeling my face grow hot. I was pissed.

"What's-" Mark started to say but I was yanked out of the booth so fast that I didn't have the chance to hear the rest.

"Here's the kit, so go." Jonathan said shoving the red plastic box with a white cross into my hands.

"Uh," I stumbled for words as I looked from him to the concocting demons. "Thanks." I grumbled then stomped off towards the sign that said restroom.

I was the only one in the bathroom so I took my time cleaning and bandaging the wound, muttering hate-filled curses to the two that caused it. I tested the bandaging by moving my ankle and it was sore, walking was going to be a pain in the ass. When I finally left the bathroom I found an employee to hand the red plastic kit over to before heading towards the booth to grab my backpack and leave. I didn't need harassment from a freckled face monster and her gossip queen.

"Hey moron!" Called a voice from the side exit. I turned, used to hearing the greeting come from that voice, to see Jonathan leaning against the wall with my backpack at his feet. I walked over to him with a brow raised. Completely confused with what was going on. "Leaving right?" He questioned flatly.

"Yeah." I replied slowly.

"So what did you do to piss them off?" He asked opening the door. The nighttime breeze was freezing as it whooshed in while I grabbed my bag from the floor.

"I don't know. Have I made you angry today?" I replied as I followed him out the door.

He stared down at me like I was crazy. "Not particularly." He said in his teasing way.

"Then, I really have no idea." I muttered as we started down the road.

Jonathan raised his arm at an approaching taxi, but it didn't stop and he swore at the driver. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Doesn't everything?" I said sarcastically out of reflex. I mentally kicked myself for it when we were probably having our first actual conversation since we met each other.

"It does." He smirked. "But how does this incident tie to me?" He raised his arm again at another taxi and again it zoomed by.

"Clary hates me for yelling at you, I guess is the way to put it, but in reality I don't actually know." I answered as another yellow cab came our way. This time I joined Jonathan in flagging it down, and this time it stopped. "How's your hand?" I asked as we climbed inside.

Jonathan gave the cabby the address to the loft before answering, "Not broken."

He was sitting on my left again and his hand was between us. From the lights of the city outside I could see that the dark color had faded some but his knuckles were gonna be badly bruised for a while. I turned my gaze out my window as I put my once again cold hand on top of his saying, "Next time you should just rip his arm off and use that as your stick."

"I've considered it many times, but the refs aren't fond of a bloody rink." He replied humorlessly. But I didn't care about his response, I was too pleased that he didn't pull his hand away.

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**Review PLEASE. For those of you who have been wanting NGT I'm getting back to it this week. I was just really focused on these last chapter cause they were the main reason I wanted to write this story. Anyway hoped you like, pleases review I need feedback.**


	9. Chapter 9: The Warning

**The Warning**

"You're in the way." Jonathan drawled behind me as I searched through the fridge for the yogurt that I had hidden for myself. He was tapping his foot impatiently. Nothing was any different, even after last night. Not that I really expected anything to change, I was just his human ice-pack. _Then what about the thumb trailing thing?_ I wondered as I grabbed the small container of dairy and stood up, giving Jonathan my I-could-care-less face.

"Just trying to survive here." I replied moving out of the way and going for the drawer that held the silverware. I grabbed a spoon while he began a slow and dull scan of the fridge's contents. He completely blocked the exit to the kitchen.

With a sigh I pulled the foil off the top of the container and licked it clean before throwing it away. Turning back around Jonathan was still in the fridge, taking forever like usual.

"What are you looking for?" I inquired merely to get him to move along.

"Food." Was his reply. There was no sarcasm or anger to his tone. The one word was a statement of fact.

"Well there's plenty in there. I don't see why you're having trouble today." I said stirring my strawberry yogurt, then licked the spoon clean.

He didn't say anything in response. I continued to eat my food until it was gone and Jonathan was still searching the fridge. Cleaning up after my breakfast I walked over to the open door and peered down at him. He wasn't even looking at the fridge he was on his phone. I groaned as I leaned against the door banging it against his knee.

"What the hell?" He snapped looking up at me.

"Want me to cook for you?" I asked as he slid his phone into his pocket.

"I don't need your help. Move out already." He was definitely back to normal.

"Then get out of my way I need a shower." I said pushing the door into him again, rattling the bottles and condiments on the shelves.

He huffed and glared at me, but stepped out of the way. I walked around him and got ready for school. He was gone before me like always, but as I was leaving I bumped into Valentine who was just getting home from work. He works at some firm for something. I don't really know and never cared enough to find out. He looked worn out and ready to drop. His dark eyes had even darker circles under them, and there were more lines in his face than normal. We said nothing to each other in passing, only because there was never anything to say to one another unless I was paying for my rent.

* * *

Upon arriving at school I seemed to become some sort of topic, people whispered to themselves as they looked at me. I ignored it playing it off on my lack of sleep and stress that had started last night with Clary. That wasn't even the most surprising thing that happened that morning, waiting for me at my locker was Mark. I didn't even know he knew where my locker was. He greeted me with a smile, and I could only respond with a nod. It was like I walked into the Twilight Zone, I kind of wanted Jonathan near me to fight with to calm this unsettling feeling inside of me.

"How's you're ankle? You left right after bandaging it right?" He asked as I spun the dial unlocking my locker.

"Uh, yeah. It's fine, thanks for asking." I said shoving my backpack into my locker along with my coat.

"Was it really Clary and Isabelle who did it?" He asked lowering his voice so only I could hear.

I grabbed the books I needed out of my locker then closed it before facing him. He looked nervous. I couldn't imagine why. "Yeah. Why would I lie about that?"

Mark shrugged and leaned away like I was accusing him of some serious crime. "No, I know you wouldn't. It's just hard to picture them picking on anyone. They're not exactly the bully types." He said averting his multicolored gaze to down the hall. I follow his line of vision to Isabelle Lightwood's locker where she and Clary were chatting with some brunette guy that I recognized as apart of our grade.

"It doesn't matter I haven't done anything. So just forget it." I breathed taking off towards my class.

"Wait Mira." Mark said and I paused. "I just wanted to thank you for coming last night. I had a lot of fun." He smiled, his cheeks turning a light pink. He's always so sweet, I didn't understand why I didn't like him more than I did. Maybe I lacked the passionate side of a girl like I lacked the feminine grace and the delicate looks.

"Thanks for inviting me. The game was fun." I half smiled back before heading off to class.

As school progressed I learned it wasn't my imagination, everyone was looking at me and whispering. I didn't know about what until Mark raced up to me at the end of the day apologizing like a mad man. I just stared at him as he panted out his last few sorries.

"What are you talking about?" I asked closing my locker.

"You haven't heard the rumor?" He asked looking up at me. His eyes wide and startled.

"I hate rumors." I replied.

"Umm, well," He stammered avoiding looking at me directly.

"Does it have anything to do with me and you?" I asked raising a brow. I needed him to get talking so I could get to work.

"NO." He said frantically.

"Then why were you apologizing?" I inquired crossing my arms. This was taking too long and I was going to miss my bus.

"Because I believed it." He admitted and his face turned a brighter shade of pink.

"Believed what?" I almost snapped. Mark was dragging me in circles and I was getting pretty tried of it, or maybe it was just the lack of sleep talking.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself before he looked at me and asked, "Are you living with Jonathan?"

My brain froze for a moment as I just stared at the Senior. What had he just asked me? Where the hell did that come from?

"No." I spat and turned away from him.

He called after me as I stormed down the hall but I didn't look back. I hurried away from him ignoring the stares and hushed tones as I past. This was ridiculous. Who on earth could have started that rumor? The only person I could think of was Jonathan but he didn't want people to know just as much as I did. Someone could have seen us share a taxi, but that wasn't a reason to assume we were living together. I didn't need this right now, I already had a redheaded monster after me, and I didn't need Jonathan ripping my head off because everyone found out.

The whole way to work I tried to force the rumor from my mind, while Mark kept blowing up my phone. It got to the point where I had to shut it off and bury it deep inside my backpack. There was a black cloud hanging over my head as I banged the door open to Pandemonium and stalked inside.

"Hello sunshine. You're looking particularly gray today." Raphael said as I made my way to the bar.

"Stuff it." I grumbled shoving my backpack into the cupboard.

"Oh and feisty too, I see." He commented.

"Bad day?" Bat asked from his usual place at the bar. Next to him sat Johnny who was watching the conversation with mild interest.

"It wasn't exactly good." I replied grabbing my apron and putting it on.

"Want another day off?" Raphael asked casually.

I spun around anger and exhaustion fueling my actions. "Are you slowly trying to get rid of me?" I snapped.

"Woah, calm down chica." Raphael said as his thin brows shot upwards. "That's not at all what I'm doing."

"Then why do you keep pushing days off on me?" I challenged pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Because you're a kid and you shouldn't be working all the time. ¡Dios mío! You can be so stubborn." He complained.

I lowered my hand and groaned inwardly. _You're being an idiot Mira._ I yelled at myself. "I hate teenagers." I huffed going back to the bar and grabbing the cleaning rag._  
_

"I'm not a big fan either." Raphael said stepping into the back room to do I don't know what, Owner-like things probably.

"So what's got you all pissy?" Bat asked as I began wiping down the bar.

"High school drama." I growled.

"Well I figured that." Bat said with a smirk.

Just then the front door opened with it's usual creak and I greeted the person without looking to see who it was. "Welcome to Pandemonium."

"Is Mira here?" Asked a woman.

"Who wants to know?" I asked lifting my head to see the woman who had been fighting with Valentine. Today she was in regular jeans and a jacket with her fiery hair tied into a tight bun on the top of her head.

"Oh it's you." The woman said with an uneasy smile. "I need to talk to you, and I heard you work here. Do you have a moment?" She was polite in a direct way. She was clearly not the type to take no as an answer, maybe she really was Jonathan's mother.

"Who are you?" Bat asked changing stools so he was blocking the woman's view of me. A good tipper and protective, he was definitely my favorite costumer.

"My business isn't with you. Now Mira can I have a moment of your time?" She stepped closer to the bar. She was certainly confident.

"What's this about?" I asked leaning around Bat.

"Your housing." She stated and suddenly realization dawned on me.

"You're the cause of that rumor at school?" I stormed around the bar.

"Please follow me." Was all she said as she left out the door.

"Tell Raphael I stepped out." I told Bat as I hurried after the redheaded woman.

The woman led me to the alley next to the bar away from any passersby. The cold air assaulted my body, I should have grabbed my jacket but I had to know what was going on. She paused for a moment in the dark alleyway with her hand shoved inside her pocket searching for something. When she finally pulled her hand free she held out a white envelop to me.

"Take this and move out of that place. It's not safe and you don't belong there." She said with the strictest expression a stranger had ever given me.

"Who the hell are you to tell me this?" I fought planting my hands on my hips. "I have nothing to do with you."

"Actually it is you that has nothing to do with the Morgensterns." Her tone cut through my anger just like a mother's would. "You need to leave that loft and find some place else to live. I'm telling you this for your own good." Her green eyes stared right into my hazel ones, unwavering and completely serious.

"You're saying this now? I've been there for a year, and everything has been just fine. _You're_ the one who's told the school! _You're_ the one who's messed everything up!" I didn't back down. "YOU LEFT THEM, SO JUST LEAVE US ALONE."

Her hand tightened on the envelop and the paper crinkled. "You are not their family. They don't see you as apart of them. You're just a replacement. Is that what you want to live as? A surrogate for a person they don't deserve to have in their lives." Her voice took a darker tone and her gaze turned into a glare.

"Where do you get off in saying that? You abandoned your own son!" I yelled back. My body no longer felt cold, the adrenaline pulsing in my veins helped that. I was panting and ready for a fight. This woman, I couldn't believe she was saying this to me. She didn't know anything. She didn't know what happens in that house, she hasn't seen the dark hollow expressions of the bitter men that live there. She had no right to kick me out and send me away.

"Is that what Valentine told you?" She snapped back. The sophisticated adult facade fell and we were just two females fighting in an alley next to a bar.

"It's what I've pieced together. You were the one who said you were done with Jonathan. Don't pretend to be the innocent mother when you're clearly not!"

**SLAP.**

"You know nothing about that." She choked out. "I'm warning you now to just leave that place. It only causes problems." Her shoes smacked the ground as she walked by me.

My head was still snapped to the side from the force of her slap she delivered to my left cheek. At my sides my hands shook in fists, holding back the rage that wanted to go after the woman and beat her to a pulp. I don't know when I went back inside the bar, seconds later, minutes? I couldn't tell, I was only seeing red.

_**"You no good bitch!"**_

_**"Get out of here!"**_

_**"Good for nothing! Stop wasting my money."**_

_**"You're tired? I had to work all night!"**_

_**"Shut up you pathetic brat."**_

_**Breaking glass. Raised fists. More screaming and bl-**_

"Mira?" Bat's voice broke throw the dark haze of my mind.

I looked up to see three sets of wide curious eyes. I didn't have anything to say to any of them.

"What happen?" Raphael asked coming around the bar. "Maldito." He muttered under his breath as he tilted my head to the side so he could get a better look at my cheek.

"Should I call the police?" Bat asked getting up from his stood.

I jerked out of Raphael's hands. "I'm fine. Just forget about it." I said flatly.

"You're just a kid she can't-"

"Bat just leave it!" I yelled stomping off towards the kitchen.

I spent the rest of my shift in there. Cleaning making only one plate of Nachos which were unappealingly limp. My head was buzzing like a swarm of angry bees. The only time I looked outside the kitchen was when Johnny yelled something about a heartbreaker, and I saw Magnus Bane sitting with one of the Lightwoods. Alec, I think was his name, and apparently they had been kissing, well that would be a shock for his upper class stuck-up family to find out he's gay. I shrugged it off and returned to my kitchen brooding until my shift ended.

I was pleased that Mark didn't show up to walk me to the bus. I was even more pleased when I got back to the loft and no one was there so I could yell and curse and complain until my voice gave out and I collapsed onto my bed too tired to do my homework. I felt like this was one of those times girls cry their eyes out, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't cry. The tears just wouldn't form.

_I knew it. I wasn't meant to be girly at all. Maybe I wasn't meant to be. . ._

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**I'm sorry about Mira's reaction to Malec, I had said it would be entertaining but as I began writing this chapter I realized, "Nope that's just not going to happen the way I want it to." So I apologize! . Anyway I hoped you guys liked it anyway. Next is the Party and things will only get more intense from there. Things will come to light and Mira will have to face her past after all**

**Sorry about that mis-post .**


	10. Chapter 10: I Was Wrong

**I Was Wrong**

When Saturday morning came, I knew I was going to hate it more than any other Saturday. . . Well it was going to be close. As I trudged out of my room I could hear Jonathan on the phone still at home, and late for practice. He sounded upset, but then again when wasn't he. Yelling and cursing at someone that didn't seem to understand that he wasn't going out today. I didn't blame him with the way the rumor -which was crazy true- was spreading around school. I was still in my flannel pajama bottoms and plain tight tee when Jonathan tossed his phone onto the couch and kicked the back of it with as much force as he could.

"Everyone on your ass too, to know what's going on?" I asked leaning against the wall that divided the living room from the kitchen.

Jonathan spun around to glare at me with blazing black eyes. His pale face was flushed with anger and I was prepared to take his wrath.

"Who the hell started this shit?" He growled gripping the back of the couch, digging his fingers into the fabric.

I stared at him, at a complete lost. _He's not blaming me? _

"Do you really want to know?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"You know?" His eyes narrowed at me.

"Do you want to know?" I re-asked staying as calm as possible. It wasn't every day you tell a guy his horrible abandoning mother had started shit at his school, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to be her last time either.

"Tyler." He hissed like a warning.

"Do you know your mother?" I asked suddenly curious. I wanted to know when she left, and if Jonathan ever really knew her before she just up and abandoned him.

For a moment his face went blank, but then it was filled with anger and hatred that I probably deserved bringing up a topic that I knew was taboo. "Of course I do." He spat.

"Red hair, kind of short, and insane green eyes." I described and his eyes only narrowed more. So she was his mother. "She was looking for me at school yesterday and apparently let our housing situation slip."

The fabric of the couch ripped under Jonathan's tense fingers. _Well Valentine wasn't going to be happy about that._

"WHAT?" He yelled, and down the hall the moan from his hungover father could be heard. "How in hell does she even know about you?" He demanded.

"She was arguing with Valentine in the lobby when I got back from work. He introduced me and she clearly didn't like that. She showed up at Pandemonium yesterday too, telling me I need to leave and crap. She even hit me before she left." As I explained I wondered how he would react. What side would he take? Would he agree with his mother or would he get mad at her instead of me? I found myself hoping that he would side with me.

The holes in the fabric grew as his grip tightened on the couch. There was a long list of cursing that I only partially understood before he returned to modern English. "Annoying ungrateful bitch. I can't believe this. How the hell am I suppose to make it through this shit?" He muttered.

"And, pray tell, how is this at all bad for you?" I asked pushing off the wall. "A girl living with a guy is call for worship among the male gender. A guy living with a girl only means that girl is a slut, and I'm living with _two_." My voice rose, but I wasn't angry, just annoyed. It was always about him. Things would never change.

"Who wants to be living with an emotionless bitch that can't keep to herself? Any other girl in school would be better than the one who can't understand what the hell is going on and can't butt the fuck out. The stupid loser who's not need!" He shot back seething with his chest rising and falling quickly.

I stumbled backwards like he actually hit me. The echoing voices returning and repeating the same thing, _**"Useless trash."**_

I looked down to my bare feet, "Give me a week. Then I'll be gone." I said as the voices continued.

"What?" He sounded almost shocked.

"I just need a week." I said with a catch in my throat.

That was right I wasn't actually needed. I didn't have to worry about Jonathan, I just did it out of selfish reasons. He had been living with his father for so many years before I showed up, I was just needlessly thinking I was improving things in their lives. Like a stupid girl I had deluded myself in what I only wanted to see. A year was the limit, Jonathan couldn't handle me any more, he had lasted longer than I thought he would. I really was not needed, but it made sense. Who would need a person who has done the things I've done? I wouldn't even want me if I had the choice.

"What's going on out here? Are you guys arguing again? It's so early." Groaned Valentine as he shuffled out of the hall and into the living room.

"She's finally leaving." Jonathan replied, but there was no arrogant smile on his face like I thought there would be with this news. Though he still sounded please.

"Leaving? For work? You're not even dressed." Valentine inquired taking in my attire. He was wrapped in his black bathrobe and his usually slicked back hair was a tousled mess making him look younger than he really was. He and Jonathan really did look so much a like, there was no trace of his mother in Jonathan's features at all. It was hard to believe they were even related.

"Ah, no. Moving out. I'll give you the rent since it's almost the end of the month, but I'll be gone by the end of the week." I explained lifting my head. I didn't need to look pathetic in front of both of them at once.

"What brought all this on?" Valentine asked suddenly sounding wide awake and like his professional self.

"A bunch of shit." I answered turning to go back to my room.

"Jocelyn talked to you yesterday, didn't she?" Valentine said flatly.

"Who?" I paused.

"The bunch of shit that bore me." Jonathan replied and Valentine shot him a dark look.

"She called to apologize for slapping you, but I wouldn't let her speak to you. Now I'll ask once, do you want to press charges against her?" His tone was even and calm and held so much authority.

"And with what legal guardian do I have to take to court with me?" I challenged. "I don't see the point, she got what she wanted, I'm leaving."

After that no more words were spoken to me about the incident. I got ready for work without a fuss, even Jonathan left for hockey practice though he was bound to be scolded for showing up more than an hour late. Work went by normally, Bat even stopped by to say hi before he left for his own job. He didn't hide the fact that he was only dropping by to check on me, and for a moment I was kind of happy, like I had a big brother or something. That feeling quickly disappeared as the hockey players came banging and laughing into the bar like every Saturday lately. Mark was of course with them, I could no longer avoid him. I never answered any of his texts or calls, which all had been asking if I was okay, and if I was mad at him. I wasn't, but I wasn't happy with him either. I was annoyed at the whole school population for listening to such complete garbage, and seeing me as Jonathan described, "_The stupid loser who's not needed." _ What made the whole thing worse was that Clary, and Jonathan were with the group. I figured he wouldn't show up to the bar because of the rumor, but I was wrong. I'm always wrong when it comes to him.

"Lily, can you serve them today?" I asked the blue haired woman as she stepped out of the kitchen. She looked over at me confused for a moment then at the jocks screwing around in their usual booths.

"Yeah no problem." She said wiping her wet hands on her apron. Raphael had obviously told her about yesterday. When did my life become open for the world to talk about and discuss at it's whim?

I watched from the bar as Lily approached the hockey team. When the Annoying Bastards saw it wasn't me they looked my way and I adverted my gaze to the rag in my hand that had stopped wiping down the bar. _God I've hit an all time low. Avoiding the Annoying Bastards. . . What next?_

Lily serviced them the whole time and I kept to the far side of the room like they didn't even exist. Raphael stepped out of the kitchen a few times to -not so secretly- check on us, well mostly me. I thought I was home free when the hockey team began leaving but the almighty god above decided "Hey let's rain a little more misery on this poor girl. She hasn't quite suffered enough the last twenty-four hours."

"Hey Mira." Mark greeted awkwardly. He couldn't look directly at me, and I didn't want to be near him.

"Hey." I muttered.

"About yesterday-" He began and I just had to put my foot down.

"I swear Mark if you apologize again I'll deck you in the face. You don't have to be sorry. It's not your freaking fault." I said slamming my hands down on the bar. My palms stung from the force.

"I'm so-" I glared at him. "Any way, " he changed course. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Because there's a party going on on the Upper East side and the whole school was pretty much invited." He answered with his friendly yet nervous smile.

Raphael stuck his head out of the kitchen at that moment and said, "Mira you have tomorrow off. You should go."

I glared over my shoulder at him. "You're not going to even give me the option are you?" I growled.

"Nope." He smiled and disappeared back into the kitchen. _Burn in hell Santiago!_

"Then I'll pick you up, where-" Mark said happily.

"No I'll just meet you there." I cut him off.

He stared at me for a moment, but let go whatever it was that he was going to ask. He gave me the address of the place then left with the rest of his friends.

"You're going to a party that'll be fun." Lily said when the bar was empty. I was helping her clean the tables the hockey players were using.

"Yeah whatever." I grumbled.

"What's with the dark mood. You should be happy." Lily said with furrowing brows.

"You know of a place that's renting a room?" I asked as I carried my full tray towards the kitchen.

"Huh? You moving?" She asked following after me.

"Moving?" Raphael inquired as we piled the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Yeah. So do you know of any places or not?" I hate it when Raphael gets all nosy and demands to know every aspect of my life. It's been hard keeping the place I have been living a secret from him.

"I heard that Bat's place has an opening. Talk to him about it Monday." Raphael said and the topic was dropped. I was slightly stunned. I had expected him to demand why I was moving and god knows what else, but that was it. I left work without any inquisition, and slightly disappointed. I thought I knew my boss better. Again I was wrong.

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**Thank you for reading, NEXT is the party, and there will be DRAMA. So leave a review and let me know how you like the story. And I apologize if Mira seems like a dark and completely depressing character right now, but she really isn't. She's stubborn and is just completely confused about her life right now. So stick with me and the story will get better.**

**ALSO I would love to hear your theories on where this story is headed. ^^ I had my sister read it and she gave me a really interesting theory, and she was only partly correct. So let me know I love hearing from you guys. It makes my day :)**


	11. Chapter 11: Stop It

**Stop It **

"Where the hell are you going?" Jonathan asked as I made my way to the front door. I wasn't dressed special for the party, black jeans, a cotton tee with some graphic print, and my ankle high boots to fight off the chill in the air. I had my hair shoved up into a ponytail which made the ends wave down the middle of my back.

I shrugged on my jacket ignoring Jonathan's question. I wasn't exactly on speaking terms with him. He had sent me over the edge, and I just wasn't in the mood to deal with him, or his currently missing father. I hadn't seen Valentine since I told him I was moving out yesterday, and that man loves caressing his weekends away.

I opened the door to leave and Jonathan yelled, "Hey answer me."

I glared over my shoulder. "To some fucking party. Happy?" I shot then slammed the door behind me. I stomped to the elevator and down to my waiting taxi where I also snapped at the cabby when he asked for the address.

The ride to the Upper East side took long enough that my temper subsided just enough to where I could handle it. It was just after nine o'clock and the sun had long since dipped below the horizon, the city glow lighting the streets. Mark was waiting for me outside the four floor made over warehouse, leaning against the the outer wall below a well lit window so he was easy to spot. For a second time he greeted me with a hug, and again I didn't return it, but he didn't seem to notice as he led me inside the building and up four flights of packed stairs. It looked like the whole school did show up, and they all stunk of alcohol. When we made it to the top floor Mark, I think absentmindedly, took hold of my hand and pulled me into a slightly less packed corner of the huge flat. Pop techno music was blaring from speakers I couldn't see making Mark lean in real close to speak to me.

"Thanks for coming." He smiled down at me. The room was hot and the closeness of all these bodies only made it hotter.

"Yeah, no problem." I said unzipping my coat. It only offered a little of relief.

"I thought maybe you wouldn't come because of that rumor." He admitted as I pulled my jacket off all the way and dumped it over a half wall.

"Rumors are just talk." I said looking around the room for something to do. I spotted a familiar crop of pale blonde hair waltz in and head towards the kitchen. Looks like Jonathan came to party with the rest of the school.

"Yeah I know, but words can hurt." Mark said and he took my hand again. I tore my eyes away from Jonathan's retreating figure and down to our linked hands. Was he really doing thing? Mark Blackthorn to me, Mira Tyler? Something had severely shifted in the universe for this to be happening.

Mark was leaning in closer and closer and I was panicking.

"Wanna dance?" I blurted out. He stopped his decent on my face and looked at me blankly for a moment, then his friendly smile spread across his face and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You dance?" He teased.

"Anyone can sway their hips and toss their arms around." I smirked as we made our way out of the corner and to the general location of the dancing teens. Mark chuckled at me as we began our quick movements to the fast beat of the music.

He wasn't flashy or really that good at it, but it was fun. We pointed out people from our classes that clearly had no rhythm and who was drunk off their ass. For a moment I forgot about my anger and that I had to move out of the loft, but as Mark spun me out like some feverish party girl ballroom dancing to pop music, I saw Jonathan flirting with Clary Fray and it all came crashing back. I continued to dance with Mark as I watched the two of them whisper to one another and Clary blush. My hands were at fists at my side but I kept dancing.

The happy atmosphere around the two of them didn't last long as Jace Lightwood came storming out of the kitchen and hauled Jonathan to his feet by his shirt. I stopped moving as I stared at them. This was only going to end one way. Bad.

"Mira?" Mark called over the music. Jonathan pushed Jace away and they yelled something at each other that I couldn't hear. Clary just sat in her chair watching on in awe.

Jace took the first swing, and it hit Jonathan in the side of the face. That was like setting off a bomb. They began grappling and knocked over a lamp that caused everyone to turn and watch the fight. I was about to charge forward to stop it but Mark grabbed my arm stopping me. He was watching the fight with a dark expression and shaking his head like he was telling me no. If I couldn't do anything Mark should have done something as their team captain, but he didn't.

"Mark let me go!" I said trying to pull free from his hand but he wouldn't let go.

"Just stay here." He said looking down at me. His mismatched eyes full of seriousness and something else I couldn't quite place. "You don't have to do anything for them."

"I know I don't have to." I replied yanking my arm free finally.

Turning back to the fight I saw I was too late. Magnus had showed up and separated them, Alec holding Jace back. Mark and I were too far from the fight itself to hear what they were yelling over the chanting and complaining audience around them. Magnus tried to get between the two blondes but Jonathan pushed him aside. Then suddenly Clary was finally on her feet doing something to stop the conflict. She was defending Jace, even though it was she who was flirting with Jonathan. Magnus muttered something and began dragging Jonathan towards the door, clearly throwing him out of the party.

"Mira?" Mark put a hand on my shoulder, but I paid it no attention as I shook it off.

I had to go. I had to leave. I had to go after Jonathan. Everything in my mind told me not to and that it was just a stupid idea, but I had to. I just had to. So I ran. I elbowed people out of my way and hurried towards the door Mark had brought me through when we arrived. I past Magnus as I began down the stairs, he was cursing in some foreign language. I checked every face as I descended the stairs but Jonathan was no longer in the building. I rushed out the front doors and scanned the dark streets spotting him stalking down the sidewalk. I ran after him, but he had a big head start and had longer strides than me.

Panting and irritated I screamed, "JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER MORGENSTERN. Stop!" And he did.

In fact he turned on his heel and began storming towards me. When we finally came face-to-face I didn't give him the chance to yell at me for using his whole name.

"You idiot. What the hell did you think you were doing? Fighting like a bunch of kids!"

"Me? What the hell do you think you're doing coming after me yelling my name? I've told you you have no right!" He fought back towering over me.

"THEN QUIT MAKING ME WORRY YOU STUPID BASTARD." I said punching him in the chest. "So what if your parents don't care, that doesn't mean no one does. Just stop doing stupid things! Stop it!" I yelled punching him over and over again. The cold night air made each blow sting my fingers but I didn't stop. I was too worked up to do anything else but spew what came out of my mouth and let my eyes prickle with the emotions I didn't understand.

He grabbed my wrists stopping my assault. His hands were warm despite the cold, and it reminded me I was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I was freezing. "I didn't ask for you to care." He said darkly.

"It's not like I choose to." I shot back and he shoved my wrists away. I stumbled backwards as Jonathan started walking away again.

"Jonathan Christo-" He spun back around and clamped a hand over my mouth. His eyes were full of hate and I knew I had pushed his last button and he was going to detonate like an atomic bomb.

"Shut up. You understand? I hate that fucking name. Say it again and I'll kill you." He hissed as he slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

"Then stop walking away, and listen to me." I said wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm. "I'm tired of your careless attitude. You're gonna get yourself kill one of these days."

"And if that happens it doesn't concern you." He stated flatly. There was an eerie calm around him now. I didn't like it.

"It would." I shot back.

"And why is that?" He glared down at me.

"Because I'm the only one that cares!" That's when I noticed it. I was crying. Actually crying. Tears were streaming down my face and my throat felt tight. _Why am I crying now? Over Jonathan. I'm so pathetic._

When I looked back up at Jonathan his face was hidden in shadows. I was shaking from the cold and the silent sobs that raked through me.

"Your boyfriend is coming." Jonathan said turning away from me again.

"Mark is not my boyfriend." I growled.

"Why don't you just shut up and date him. I don't need or want your sympathy." Jonathan stated as he began walking away.

All I could do was stared after his blurred figure. He had said everything perfectly clear, and so had I. There was nothing left. That little hope that I had been hanging onto, that maybe Jonathan would understand he's not just some sexual tool and someone did care, would get through to him and maybe I could still live at the loft. But no. That hope was crushed into a fine powder on the sidewalk of New York City.

"Mira, thank god I caught up to you." Panted Mark as he came running up behind me. "Here's your jacket, you must be freezing."

I turned around trying not to sniffle or show that I was crying but it was harder than I thought. I wiped at my eyes but the tears just wouldn't stop.

"Woah, what? What happened?" Mark asked startled.

"N-Nothing." I stammered.

Before I knew it my face was pressed to his chest, my jacket was thrown over my shoulders and Mark was holding me very tightly. For some reason it made me cry even more. I felt so lame, and weak breaking down like a stupid girl on the side of the street that I cried harder and clung to Mark like a life raft. I cried until my stomach hurt, but Mark never let me go. Not when his hoodie became damp from my tears, not when people past us staring, not even when it seemed to be so late that the party just down the street began turning down the music because of the hour. He was there, and kind, and caring, but he wasn't the one I wanted to be there.

_**"Ungrateful little bitch!"**_

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**And thus we have a cliff hanger. What will happen to Mira and Mark? Will Mira move out? What's Jonathan's mother planning, and what's up with Valentine's sudden disappearance? COMING SOON**


	12. Chapter 12: No Choice

**No Choice**

It was like I had gone comatose. I was conscious of everything around me, but my body wouldn't listen to my brain, like my limbs had a mind of the their own. My legs barely moved as Mark led me through the streets of NYC by my hand. I didn't know where we were going, all I could stare at was our intertwined fingers and how big and cold his were. _Not warm._ I noted. _Not warm like 'his'._

The tears had slowed to only the occasion stray, and the annoying hiccups. My eyes were swollen and felt dry and scratchy. I couldn't remember the last time I cried, maybe when I was really small, but nothing could have prepared me for the aching hole inside me that formed after I bawled my eyes out. I've heard it said people feel better after a good cry, but I didn't feel better at all. Maybe that wasn't a good cry, it certainly didn't feel good, or make anything better. Actually I think it made my life much more complicated.

Mark brought us to a halt and I stumbled over myself not to bump into him. I couldn't believe how clumsy I had become in my emotional state. It was humiliating. I wanted to curl up in a hole and never be found, but my body would not allow me to just walk away.

He knocked on a door with his free hand while the other tightened around mine. I wished I could ask him what was going on. I wished I wasn't here. I wished I had just kept my mouth shut to Jonathan. But that's all they were; wishes. Nothing good came from wishing. Actions got results.

The door open and out poured a yellowish light. The brightness hurt my eyes and like a stupid useless girl I hide my face behind Mark's shoulder. _What the hell Mira? You are not this pathetic or weak!_

"Mark? What are you knocking for? Where're your keys?" It was a girl's voice. Familiar but I couldn't place it.

"I forgot them." He replied quickly. He released my hand but only to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me in front of him. I hiccuped in a gasp of air. "Are mom and dad still out?" He asked the girl who stood in the door way. It was Helen her blue-green eyes easily recognizable.

"Yeah." She answered giving him a questioning look.

"Can you help me keep Mira a secret?" He begged.

_Woah! WOAH. Hold up, what?_

"What?" Helen gaped at her brother. _At least I'm not the only one lost._

"She can't go home, and she doesn't exactly have many friends she can rely on." He explained, and I would have taken offense to the friends comment if it wasn't so true. "Come on Helen, just lend her some clothes, and I can sneak her out tomorrow after mom and dad leave, they go in early tomorrow." He pleaded and I could visibly see Helen's defense crumble for her brother. The Blackthorn's really care for one another. _What a nice family. . ._

Helen sighed and stepped aside. "Just don't do anything that'll get me in trouble. I'm still on probation for getting caught with Aline."

Mark pushed me inside the house and thanked Helen like she was a princess. His house was much like I thought it would look. Big yet slightly cluttered with toys, and evidence that the children way out numbered the parents. Family portraits on the wall where everyone looked happy, my heart throbbed as I gazed at the smiling Blackthorns. Some things just weren't fair.

"This way. My room is in the basement." Mark said after he took off his shoes. He took my hand and again led me to where he wanted to go. Down a flight of stairs behind a white door, and into a teenage jocks room. College and hockey posters on the walls, his hockey gear piled in a corner by a clutter desk with an old mac computer just sitting there like a rock. Across from the desk was a futon bed with it's blankets and sheets tossed to one side like he was in a haste to get up. Everything screamed **MALE, **even the scent; shower gel and the subtle smell of metal from sharpening his skates. _Jonathan smells like that when he leaves practice, and comes to the bar. _

My throat tightened and the prickling sensation I've come to associate with crying started behind my eyes. Why did the mere thought of him send me off into an emotional downward spiral? I didn't like it.

I hovered awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs as Mark became cleaning his floor, and by cleaning his floor I mean kicking stuff under the bed and tossing it in another pile by his closet. The door at the top of the stairs opened and a moment later Helen was handing me a small pile of clothes, a set of pajamas and something to wear tomorrow.

"These should fit you. Also," She said reaching into her back pocket. "Use these and it'll help your irritated eyes." Her smile was kind as she sat a bottle of eye drops on top of the clothes.

"Thanks." At least my body could still use manners.

Helen smiled at me then went back up stairs leaving Mark and I alone again. I continued to hover awkwardly by the stairs as he turned back around with a nervous half smile on his face that looked forced.

"Sorry for bringing you here without asking." He said stepping towards me. "But you actually do live with Jonathan don't you?" It was more of an observation than a question. I couldn't say anything as my body hugged the borrowed clothes to my chest, the bottle of eye drops in my left hand. "I heard the end of your fight, and I'm sorry he wouldn't listen, but that's Jonathan."

_You don't know him. Shut up! How would you know anything! He let me touch his hand, we held hands. He took me home. Shut up Mark._

The tears were suffocating me now, like they were slamming against the dam of my will, determined to break it down for the second time tonight.

"And I know I'm not your boyfriend, but I wanna be. I'm not saying this to bash Morgenstern and make myself look better, it's how I really feel. I wouldn't make you cry. I want to see you smile, hear your laugh, watch you beat up Eric and Zeke," At that he quirked a smile and the lump in my throat shrunk. The tears still wanted to fall but it was slightly less painful. "I'll walk you home from your job, I won't let anyone hurt. I'll defend you, I really care about you Mira." His hand brushed away a lock of my hair that fell from my ponytail.

Mark was a good guy, kind and caring and extremely unselfish, the complete opposite of Jonathan. Everything said I should just date him, but I didn't like him like that. I don't know why, but I just didn't. He was a friend. That's all I saw him as. . . I guess it's possible to fall in love after time together. _He_ even said I should just date Mark. My head hurt. Too much to think about.

Mark pulled his hand back as his face flushed. "I'll go get us something to drink, so you can go ahead and change." After he spoke he bolted up the stairs.

* * *

We had fallen into an awkward silence. I was sitting on his bed in Helen's pajamas that fit rather well, and Mark was fidgeting in his desk chair. It was just after eleven and I was getting tired. The eye drops helped and the aching in my head subsided. I didn't like the quiet, I had grown use to annoying noises and music always playing while staying at the Morgenstern's. My body had started to allow me regain control, making me feel less like a pathetic school girl.

"I'm moving out." I said looking down at my hands in my lap.

"Really?" Mark said sounding slightly hopeful.

"Yeah, at the end of this week." I nodded.

"Where to?" He asked.

"I have a couple of people helping me look, so I don't know where you'll be walking me to." I said clamping my hands together. Lily has a saying that she follows to a T and I know it's true, I've spent my whole life seeing the negative outcome, and now I'm gonna try for a positive one. _"Only be with a person that can make you smile. If they can't make you smile then there's no point. There will only be pain."_ Mark can make me smile. Jonathan has only made me yell and cry.

"Wait, what?" He leaned forward in his chair almost falling out of it.

"You're the one that offered it." I muttered looking up at him. His blue and gold eyes were wide and a grin pulled up his mouth. "But that doesn't mean we're doing _anything_ tonight." I added as he began to get up from his chair.

He laughed. "I know." He wrapped me in a hug. "I'm just happy. This is fine for now." He said gently as he leaned his head against my shoulder. I was slow to reciprocate, but as we just sat there I managed to put my arms around him. I think it was in an affectionate way, but I don't know much about hugging. . . Or affection.

That's all that happened. After the hug Mark piled blankets on the floor for him to sleep on while assuring me it was fine that I use his bed. When he turned off the lights it was pitch black which coupled with the familiar smell took me back to Jonathan's room, to the night he slapped me. The night he touched me, that night of anger. Even though it was a dark and miserable memory, it was one of him, one that made the choking lump form in my throat again. I pressed my face to Mark's pillow trying to force the tears away and the pale golden face from my head. I'm sure Mark heard my sniffling, but he didn't say anything. I don't know when I fell asleep but at least I was able to sleep. It was strange not listening to music, or having annoying headphones stuffed into my ears while I slept. I didn't like it.

* * *

**Sorry it's kind of short, but I wanted this to just be about Mark and Mira and her crazy emotional issues. Leave a review. ^^ any questions just ask! And trust me things are just getting heated up. The following week will be interesting and by the time they reach Christmas in the story everything will be out in the open. I hope to have this story end on New Year's day so it'll be a blast and awesome! Just so you guy know the time span of the story. As for when I should be completing LS&C by June or July, same goes for NGT**

**BTW I love reading the reviews they make my day. You guys are awesome ^^ so thank you so much for reading**


	13. Chapter 13: Big Brother Bat

**Big Brother Bat**

I never lived in a busy household. I never walked to school with anyone. I had never eaten a group breakfast. I did know what it was like cooking for others, but not for seven other people. Everything at the Blackthorn household was completely different than what I grew up with, so strange and alien. When I had finally woken up from my tears streaked sleep Mark had already been up for I guess an hour cooking and helping his younger siblings get ready for Monday. Helen's clothes fit well enough with the pant legs just a little too long and the sweater a bit tight in the chest. Upstairs it was chaotic, kids running all over the place, some half dressed others all ready for the day chasing the giggling chubby faced ones with the article of clothing they were missing. I had seen no sign of Mr. or Mrs. Blackthorn as I slowly made my way to the kitchen to say goodbye to Mark and dash off to school -though I had no idea exactly where I was, but Mark had once said he lived near Pandemonium so I figured I wasn't too lost. When Mark had seen me he quickly guided me to an empty chair at the dining table next to a brunette girl who looked to be in middle school and a buy the same age who's nose was practically smashed into the novel he was reading. The Blackthorns had a wide range of personalities, to the quiet reader to the loud and chattering girls.

"I'm sorry it was so loud." Is what Mark said when we finally left his house. Helen had taken off five minutes ahead of us when Aline arrived leaving Jules -the second oldest boy- to take the rest of the siblings to school and daycare. It seemed like a lot for a fourteen year old to handle, but I had been cooking for not only me but my parents since I had been ten.

As we walked down the street I took in our surroundings. There were no stores around, or warehouses, or anything that made it look like the neighborhood by Pandemonium. We were in suburbia, house, and apartment buildings, and actual grass and trees. _How the hell did I not notice we came so far from the Upper East Side last night? Had I been really that out of_ _it? _I slugged Mark in the shoulder that wasn't hauling his hockey equipment then shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket to fend off the crisp morning air.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He asked as we continued along the sidewalk towards the bus stop.

"For lying about where you live." I grumbled. "You live at least forty-five minutes from the bar, so you don't have to walk me anywhere. It's just too much trouble." I stated.

Mark linked his arm through mine and smiled at me when I looked up at him questioningly. "It's no trouble at all. Especially since we're dating now." He beamed.

Did the title of "Mira's boyfriend" really make him that happy? I didn't understand, then again Mark's whole life was completely strange to me how was I suppose to understand his thought process?

"Oh dear god." I groaned burying my face in my hands, letting Mark guide me with our linked arms.

"What?" He sounded hurt.

"Your dumbasses, if they start anything today I swear on my job I will break each and every bone in their faces." I replied from behind my hands. I was definitely in no mood to have anymore rumors, gossip, or evil bitches after me. I already had Fray after me, and Jonathan's mother bribing me to "escape" the Morgenstern's while Jonathan himself was practically throwing me out.

Mark snickered next to me. I glared up at him dropping my hands to my sides. "What?"

"You're cute." He smiled and his hand found mine. His long callused fingers cool against my always cold ones. I couldn't help but compare them to Jonathan's. His were inhumanly warm, even in the cold of winter, maybe he just ran hotter than normal people. He sure acted like he was hotter than everyone else -especially Jace.

"That's a new adjective to add to the short list of descriptions of me." I muttered. It wasn't false, I had never been the type of girl to receive the word cute without hearing the word "not" before it. I never tried to be cute, or knew what exactly made a person cute. Mark was like an alien planet that I had just stepped onto and was getting the grand tour of a world that was only several yards away, but it still seemed like miles.

"That can't be true. I'm sure people have called you cute." As he spoke his hand tightened around mine.

"I guess the occasional granny on the side of the road, but those don't count, they can't see that their shoes don't match." I replied and Mark tried to stop a chuckle with his free hand. It didn't work.

"Well I'll say it." He said with a chortled. "I'll tell you all the time, because you are. Cute that is." His face turned a darker shade of red as he spoke, and he was staring straight ahead of us at the approaching city bus.

* * *

Mark didn't let go of my hand the whole way to school. By the time we separated so we could go to our lockers my hand had cramped up and the palm slick with sweat. I wiped it on my borrowed pants as I hurried down the Junior hall to see if I had anything for classes since I left my backpack at the loft. I had a pen and three textbooks, today was going to be brutal. I had barely shut my locker when Mark had reappeared at my side with a friendly grin and his hand resuming it's holding of mine. I didn't see the need in the action, actually I found it rather inconvenient since it was my dominant hand; my right. I shook off the thought since Mark seemed pleased as we walked along.

The whole school day continued like that, Mark holding my hand walking me to every class even though most of his classes took place on the opposite side of the school, and the stares from our fellow students. Once again I had become the hot topic at Institute High and just like the first time I found it just as annoying. But no one seemed upset by this gossip. I managed to make it through the day without tearing someone's head off and almost -so close- to not seeing Jonathan at all. At first I had thought he had ditched, and I was fine with that, but then as Mark was walking me to the front of school so I could go to work we saw him. I felt my whole frame go rigid and my feet stopped moving. My stomach turned into a knot and my lungs forgot their vital function. Mark's smile disappeared as he followed my line of vision to the grumpy looking, dark shadows under his black eyes, and tousled pale blond haired Jonathan who was heading our way.

"Come on Mira." Mark said tugging at my arm, but I didn't budge. I was like a block of ice, the heat left my body as I stared at the hate-filled jerk that left me in shreds yesterday. I still didn't understand the feelings that had overflowed that night, or why they mattered so much, but I wished they would just stop.

The moment Mark spoke Jonathan looked our way, glancing over Mark, and glaring right at me. The knot in my core tightened and my legs felt weak. _What the hell has happened to me?_ I screamed inside my head.

Mark looked towards Jonathan and scowled. Then I was moved, and Mark was popping my personal bubble. I understood he was my boyfriend and that entitled rights, but this was not a right I was prepared to give him, and definitely not at this moment with _him_ looking. Mark released me from the pressing of our lips, and dragged me out the front doors of the school while Jonathan scoffed off in the opposite direction showing he could care less that I had kissed anyone.

"Sorry." Mark muttered under his breath as he released my hand.

"Yeah." I replied flatly then left.

He didn't chase after me like he usually does in those situations, and I was glad. I needed space. I needed to get to work. I had to talk to Bat about a room for rent.

* * *

Two things were certain when I walked into Pandemonium. First was that Bat was there and I would be able to talk to him. And second was that I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep my temper under control. Sitting next to Bat at the bar was an irritatingly familiar twist of red hair and paint splattered clothes. I gritted my teeth as I stomped over to the bar. The red headed woman who's name was apparently Jocelyn, turned around on her bar stool the small smile on her face slowly fading as she took in my angry expression. Bat and his scarred face watched me closely like I was a striking cobra, and perhaps that was what I was. I certainly wanted to hit this woman and claw out her green eyes and rip out all her hair, but I wasn't the loose canon that Jonathan was.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded between clenched teeth.

Bat got up from his stool and came around to stand next to me. He was always so big and bulky that it was intimidating sometimes. "Relax Mira. She came to apologize and help pay for your move." He explained placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned my gaze from the rage inducing woman to Bat. His smile was broad and friendly like always. "The tenant across from me moved out, and the rent is great."

"I don't want her money." I spat glaring back at Jocelyn.

"But you are moving out?" She asked anxiously.

"That is none of your business. You should just be lucky I can't press charges." I hissed clenching my hands into fists at my sides.

"Can't?" Jocelyn repeated dumbfounded. "I figured Valentine would have jumped at the chance to have my head on a spike. That would have been his prime opportunity." She said leaning her elbow against the bar and placing her chin in her palm. Her relaxed posture pissed me even more off.

"Again this has nothing to do with you, so leave." I ordered. My voice had taken such a dark tone I didn't even recognize it myself.

Bat's hand tightened on my shoulder. "Mira it's okay. This is all in your best interest. Besides I wouldn't let anything happen to you." His hand released my shoulder and ruffled my hair. He definitely treated me like how I'd seen Mark treat his sisters; in a caringly teasing way.

"Well I should get going." Jocelyn said sliding off of the stool and grabbing her jacket that was thrown over another. "It was good talking to you Bat, and Mira," She said my name slowly and for a moment her green eyes reminded me of someone else with the way they looked at me. Like I was just another eyesore she didn't need, but I couldn't think of who, it wasn't Jonathan he only ever looked at me with anger. "Take care. I'm sure you'll understand what I meant when you finally move out of that place."

"If you stick around we can ask your son what it is I'll be understanding." I shot coldly, and I could see the narrowing of her eyes so clearly. I opened my mouth to say something else but the front door opened with an unusually loud creak interrupting the argument that was about to erupt.

It seemed like everyone turned their attention to the new arrival and upon seeing who it was only made my temper rise to the next level. The short little freckled redhead stood frozen by the door, her arrogant expression slipping from her face the same moment I moved to charge at her. I had had enough shit for the last several days I didn't need anymore, but Bat wrapped his arm around my shoulders holding me back locked against his massive chest. It was like being restraint by a metal cord and cement wall, he was that strong.

"Mom?" Clary gaped at Jocelyn and a thousand pieces fell into place followed by a mental explosion that left me staring at the older woman. "What are you doing here?"

Jocelyn's expression was firm and near scary as she leered at her daughter. **_Daughter!_** "No, Clary. What do you think you're doing here? You know better than to come here. Luke and I have warned you never to come here." Her tone was like ice, it sent a chill down my spine.

Then suddenly I found my voice, and my mood had turned to the dark humorous place people go when they are so upset that they can't comprehend what the hell is going on in front of them. I struggled against Bat but it was completely pointless, he wasn't going to let go.

"Are you kidding me?" I sneered. "What is this some fucking mother and daughter tag team?"

Clary's eyes flew to me and she looked like she was at a complete lose at what I was saying. It only made me want to slap her and knock some sense into her.

"What the hell did I do to you people?" I yelled. In the back room I could hear the thud and scramble as Raphael hurried to join us out in the bar. "AM I REALLY THAT HORRIBLE I CAN'T BE NEAR JONATHAN?" I screamed and my voice echoed in the small room. Bat's arms tightened around me as I felt my legs give and all my energy drain out of me.

"What is she talking about, Clary?" Jocelyn demanded with her face turning red.

Clary looked like a deer caught in headlights. "I don't know." She lied.

"LIAR. YOU SELFISHLY TOY HIM AROUND WHEN YOU'RE BROKEN UP WITH YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND!" I thrashed weakly against Bat who had wrapped his other arm around me to keep me up. "He sleeps around all the time, so why is it I can't even talk to him? You have a boyfriend, Jonathan is. . . is . . ." My brain slowed as something came to the front of my mind. I was panting and upset with the annoying pickling sensation behind my eyes that signaled the approach of tears.

"He's her brother." Jocelyn stated flatly.

"What?" Clary gasped.

Raphael had long since joined us and now stood between Clary and I. His angelic like face dark and intimidating.

"Bitches." I spat slumping against Bat. They both looked at me. "I HATE YOU BOTH. GET OUT. LEAVE ME ALONE."

"You can't throw us out." Clary managed to snap back.

"She can't but I can." Raphael said shooting the girl a dark look.

"On what grounds." Jocelyn demanded sounding like a lawyer.

"You disturbing my business, assaulting one of my employees, and the fact that I don't really like you." Raphael replied without missing a beat.

Jocelyn's spine straightened and her green eyes leered at my boss. "You've employed a minor and serve alcohol to high schoolers." She replied.

"If you want something to compare then should we have a parenting contest?" Raphael challenge rhetorically. Jocelyn didn't flinch. "Is your daughter at the top of her class? Mira is. Does she drink? Mira doesn't. Can she take care of herself? Work so many hours just to pay rent and bills? Mira does that and more. Just to take care of herself! So instead of trying to raise someone else's child who already has their life together why don't you try taking care of your own. Especially when it sounds like you like to give up halfway." Jocelyn's face turned a deep scarlet color and her hands shook at her sides. "Get out of my bar, and I never want to see either of you here again."

After that there was a tense silence as Jonathan's mother and . . . sister left. I was still being held up by Bat like a rag doll. I don't know exactly what happened after that, but some how I was in the back room -which I had spent the last year avoiding ever entering. It was a dump, with a beat up stained sofa and one window that led to the alley out back below it was a locked filing cabinet. Bat had sat me on the sofa with a navy blue hankie pressed to my eyes while pulling out his phone. He made a call I couldn't understand but there was a lot of grumbled hissing from the other end. When he pocketed the phone he patted me on the back and called me "A little trooper." I chortled at the term, and with the halfhearted laugh came the tears. They had finally spilled over and I understood what the hankie was for.

Bat was probably the closest thing I would ever come to having a brother. _Brother? Jonathan is Clary's brother. . . They've flirted. . . A lot. . . Does he know?_ The thought only brought more tears. I wasn't good enough, but his sister was.

* * *

**Sorry it has been a while and as for the people that also follow NGT I AM SO VERY ETERNALLY SORRY! I am writing out a time line for the rest of the story so I don't forget anything and make sure it's the best it can be! SO I AM VERY VERY SORRY. There's just a lot time crunching and stuff and I don't want anything to screw it up. **

**Anyway back to the late night drama. Well I'm sure most of you saw something like this coming, and if not was your mind blown? Lol. Thank you for reading and sticking with me in these slow updates, but like for NGT I am crunching the time line and making sure everything flows. If there is no flow there is no good plot and then you guys would get sad and I would wind up depressed in a hole with a sag over my head because I epicly failed. **

**So rate comment, AND BE PREPARED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.**


	14. Chapter 14: Uhh

**Uhh**

"Are you sure you'll be okay here?"

"Yeah."

"Mira?"

"Hey I've made it for a year, a week won't kill me."

"I'll be here Saturday with the truck."

And with a quick wave Bat left me in the lobby of the loft building. I gave him a sarcastic solute as I stepped inside the elevator that had just arrived. Pressing the button for the Morgenstern loft I tried to compose myself, though I was sure Jonathan wasn't even home, and Valentine was most likely still at work. Still it was better to be safe than sorry when it came to these men, and I was already sorry. I had done something stupid, really stupid, probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. I told Jonathan that I cared. He hates people fussing over him, but loves being the center of attention. He's the most confusing person I know, and yet I still care and can't stop.

Digging into the pocket of my jacket I pulled out the loft key as I stepped out of the elevator. I unlocked the door and stepped inside quietly looking around for any signs of life. At first glance there was nothing. It was dead silent as I shut the door behind me, then came the grumbled snort that I had learned by heart. With slumped shoulders I shrugged out of my coat and hung it up before proceeding any further.

Jonathan was in the kitchen with items for a sandwich spread across the counter, but no sandwich made. His eyes stared at me as I made my way to the couch that still had holes. In the back of my head I wondered if Valentine had seen them yet and if he yelled at Jonathan for them. I picked up the TV remote as I sat, doing my best to ignore the black eyes on me. I hadn't even turned on the television when he huffed again, it was such a childish act to get attention that I almost cracked a smile. Almost.

"What?" I said flatly without looking towards him.

"Come make me food." He ordered.

"Why would I do that?" I challenged staying on the couch.

"Because I told you to." He replied firmly.

I groaned as I got to my feet. No matter how mad I was, or depressed I couldn't stop myself from taking care of him. I should only be doing this for my "boyfriend" and Jonathan wasn't him. Mark was. Mark who I only saw as a friend. I didn't even want to kiss him. _I'm horrible._

"Your reasons suck, you know?" I said stepping into the kitchen.

"Shut up." He muttered leaning against the opposite counter as I began making his sandwich.

A year together and I knew what he liked, and what he hated. Only on sandwiches would he eat mayo any other time he hates it, he can't stand pickles, loves ketchup, hates peas, he puts extra salt on his fries. I could make the perfect meal for him without even asking, and even though he wouldn't say anything I know he would love it. Only a year together and I probably know him better than he knows himself.

I had put the bread in the toaster and it had just popped up done. A question had been nagging at me, and I had to know, especially after this afternoon. And my tongue knew just what to do when my brain was in a state of confusion.

"Did you know Clary is your sister?" I asked casually as I began to spread mayo on one slice of toast.

I didn't look at Jonathan as he remained silent. He was probably trying to figure out how I knew that, or looking for the proper insult to tell me I was wrong. But I wasn't.

"Yeah." Was all he said and my hand froze over the lettuce.

_He knew. He knew this whole time and he still flirted with her. What was wrong with him?_ My stomach twisted into a tight knot.

"Then why did you pretend not to be?" I asked forcing my limbs to move.

"Because she doesn't know." He answered simply.

My hands moved mechanically as I made his sandwich. My head was spinning with so many questions, and concerns. "So you were just messing with her?" I managed to ask.

"No. I was seeing if she could love me." He said reaching for his finished sandwich. "Turns out it's not actually possible." He added grabbing the sandwich.

He was about to pull away but I grabbed his wrist. His skin warmed my chilled hand and it was a nice feeling compared to Mark's cool touch. I looked up at his face and he had a brow cocked at me. The words I wanted to stay died on my tongue before my brain even had the chance to realize them. My hand slipped away as I said instead, "She knows the truth now." My voice was low and flat. Even to my own ears I could hear the lack of life in it. "Your mother showed up at Pandemonium again and Clary had bad timing and well Jocelyn announced it."

Jonathan turned his back to me as he left the kitchen. "You have a knack for inducing the wrath of the family." He said with his mouth full.

He was right. The only one who hasn't gone shouting at me has been Valentine, but there was still time for that.

Jonathan dropped onto the couch with his feet up on the coffee table while I stayed in the kitchen cleaning up the mess. I didn't want to leave just yet, and lock myself in my room to do mind numbing homework.

"Have you found a place to move into yet?" He asked through another mouth full.

"Yeah." I answered.

"Then why are you still here?"

"Paperwork." I said as I realized this was unlike our usual conversations. It was missing our insults, and annoying jabs at one another. _Was it because of last night? No Jonathan isn't considerate. . . Was he?_

Just then as I finished cleaning the kitchen the front door swung open to reveal Valentine. Jonathan and I both stared in confusion. His dark eyes looked from Jonathan on the couch to me in the kitchen, seeming pleased he stepped into the loft with a professional atmosphere around him. "Thursday we are eating out. All three of us, remember that. If you do not attend there will be serious consequences." He paused next to the couch eyes growing wide. Clearly he hadn't been home in a while to notice the holes. "What happened here?" He demanded.

"I got mad." Jonathan replied flatly as he continued to stare at his father.

Valentine shook his head like he didn't want to start with his son. He looked to me and I suddenly felt small and insignificant. "The meal is going to be at Taki's at seven. You two will attend, and I will not hear otherwise." His words were final, then he turned around and left again.

"What the hell?" Jonathan said staring after his father.

"He's your dad, you tell me." I said shrugging my shoulders.

What was going on with Valentine?

* * *

**Apologies it's been a while and that it's so short, but this is just a bridge to the upcoming week. DRAMA ROMANCE AND BROKEN HEART?**

**Also great news guys I've been asked to auction off some stories to help fund-raise for Dashcon, so check it out guys. It's a tumblr themed convention that'll take place next year, so check it out. I might even go.**

**Leave a review please, they help save this writer from going insane, and sanity is needed, most of the time. **

**^^ thanks **


	15. Chapter 15: Last Date

**Last Date**

"Dear God, are those pancakes?" Jonathan gaped as he slunk out of his room.

"Bacon's in the oven." I said flipping a golden brown circle.

Indeed I was making pancakes. I had woken up this morning with a craving, and figured I could indulge myself in the high class lifestyle for this last week. Raphael had already given me the week off -with pay- to get my life and all it's shit in order.

Jonathan hovered over my shoulder staring at the food with the expression of a hungry child. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. I didn't want to fight with Jonathan this week, I was done fighting. Done being angry, but knowing my life my temper will most definitely rear it's ugly head again this week.

"What's the occasion?" He asked eyeing the stack of pancakes next to the electric griddle.

"No occasion." I said adding the last two pancakes to the hefty stack. Hopefully Valentine will eat some, whenever he gets up, there was plenty to go around.

"Yeah right. You've only made breakfasts like this on holidays, and birthdays. So which is it today?" He asked as I unplugged the griddle and pulled the bacon out of the oven.

I grabbed another plate and filled it with four pancakes, and six strips of bacon then handed it to Jonathan. "Happy Tuesday." I half smiled as I turned to fix my own plate.

Behind me I could feel him hesitate, but with a huff he turned for the fridge. When I turned back around he had smothered his plate in maple syrup. This time I couldn't stop the giggle, and it only earned me a slightly annoyed eye roll and the cold shoulder, which was a large change from the usual glares and breathy curses.

_And to think all it took was my leaving._ I thought sadly as I grabbed the half empty syrup bottle from the counter. _He must really hate me._

* * *

I could only stare. I probably should have expected this, but I was still left dumbfounded. Mark was waiting in front of the building for me when I left the loft. A smile on his face, and his hand eager to take mine as we walked to school. Did I mention I was staring, cause I was. Completely and totally wide eyed as he chatted away about the next up and coming hockey game at the end of this week, and how annoying little sisters could be. I felt like I had stepped out of the real world and into the Twilight Zone. Some part of me remembered that I was dating Mark Blackthorn, but all of me had yet to accept the fact that I had gained a boyfriend. Dating never appeared in the cards of life I was dealt. Maybe life was like Old Maid and someone had finally taken the old bitch from my hand.

It wasn't until we reached the school did I finally snap out of my trance. I found my tongue and was able to contribute to the conversation which appeared to make Mark happy.

"You're working tonight right? You weren't there yesterday." He said as we made our way down the main hall.

"Nope. I have this week off." I said mildly happy. What person doesn't like to be paid will not working?

"Really?" Mark's mismatched eyes lit up. "What are you planning to do then?" He asked as we stopped at his locker. He had his massive sports bag to take care of.

"Shop. I have to pick some things up before I move." I replied ignoring the suspicious looks from the people passing by.

"Uh, mind if I come along?" He asked with a nervous half smile.

"I guess not." I shrugged. "I'm not doing anything interesting. The basics and paying bills." I said as he closed his locker.

"We can get dinner afterwards." He added as we started for my locker.

"Sure, sounds cool." I commented and he just smiled more as he grabbed for my hand.

Was this what dating was all about? Holding hands and talking? I guess strong emotional feelings for the other person were important but I wasn't there yet with Mark. I really only liked him as a friend. _You'll get there, Mira. You'll get there. . . Maybe._ I reminded myself.

* * *

I don't know if it was just lucky timing or Mark abusing his powers as captain, but the hockey team had half practice today which meant I only had to kill an hour before Mark got out and could join me on my boring outing. He held my hand the whole bus ride and walk to the store. My hand was freezing by the time I could pull away from Mark to grab a shopping basket, which he ended up snatching away from me like an old fashioned gentlemen. I let him carry it even though I didn't need him to, or even wanted him to.

"So you're moving out Saturday?" He asked as we walked down the shampoo aisle.

"Yeah." I answered as I was mentally calculating the cheaper purchase of the regular size and the on sale larger size.

"Do you need any help?" He asked kindly.

"No. Bat's picking me up." I replied deciding the regular was fine. I was only the only person using it after all.

"Oh?" Mark sounded off put.

"Yeah, he's what you might call my older wiser brother." I said feeling my heart warm with the term. It really did make me happy that he cared about me so much to take care of me even though I'm just an annoying girl, especially of late. "He's borrowing his boss' truck. . ." My words slowed as I realized who I was talking about. Bat, who works for Jocelyn's fiancé, who are the "parents" of Clary, and those women don't like me. I groaned into my hand in frustration. Perhaps Luke isn't as judgmental and doesn't hate Jonathan. . . Valentine is a whole other story.

"What?" Mark asked startled.

"Nothing." I sighed composing myself. "Come on I need new pajamas." I said directing him through the story, and his face flushed.

* * *

I was laughing, with tears in my eyes as we sat at a couples table in a family run dinner. "I can't believe you're face got that red." I was near suffocating as Mark sat across from me with his head in his hands. He had gotten so flustered when I took him into the woman's department he could hardly speak or even look at me as his face turned as red as a tomato. The cashier thought I was crazy as I snickered while checking out, but I couldn't hold back the laughter. Mark's reaction was so old-fashioned and adorable I couldn't help it.

"Was it really that funny?" Mark grumbled behind his hands.

"It was definitely the highlight of the day." I chuckled trying to get my laughing under control as the waitress came over.

"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" She asked politely. Shooting Mark a sympathetic smile as he lowered his hands. His pale cheeks were still bright red along with his ears. It made him look so much younger I almost started laughing again, but I stopped myself thinking I had caused him enough public humiliation for one day.

We ordered and the blond waitress flounced away with a swing to her hips. _Yup, flirting with Mark. And here I am his girlfriend laughing at him and with no romantic feelings for him at all._ I felt like a jerk.

"Thanks for coming." I said once the blond was out of earshot. "You made it much less boring." I half smiled.

Mark ran a hand through his mess of blond curls with a grin of his own. "Glad I could brighten your day."

"You did." I nodded.

We kept up a light trail of topics, ranging from school work and debating the better song or which band. By the time we finished the sun had begun to set coloring the city that never sleeps in oranges and reds. Mark had wanted to walk me all the way home but I managed to talk him into only the bus stop which was several blocks over from where we were. We were having fun, he carried my only bag besides my backpack, which I couldn't stop him from doing, but Mark was a kind and nice guy. Easy going and entertaining to talk to.

_'Sit Back Now_  
_Let Me Tell You A Tale_  
_Where Justice Does Not Prevail_

_About An Ill-Fated Life_  
_So Very Full Of Strife-_

"Shoot." I muttered as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. My hands were cold and Mark wouldn't let go of my one so it made it hard to get out of my pocket. When I finally managed to answer it my fingers were red and pounding. "What?"

"I need money." Was the reply.

Mark and I stopped under an awning to get out of the way of the foot traffic as I fought to hear Jonathan on the other end of the call.

"For what?" I asked flatly.

"For a taxi." He answered.

"Why are you calling me?" I challenged ignoring the intense gaze from Mark.

"Because my stupid father won't pick up. Now get over here." He ordered irritably.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Where are you?" I asked. Why couldn't I just hang up on him? That's clearly what Mark wanted, it's want a responsible girlfriend would have done, they do it all the time in the movies. But I just couldn't give up on Jonathan. _Worrying bastard._

Jonathan told me and I groaned. He was literally around the corner. We would have bumped into him in five minutes. Muttering, "Okay." I hung up and started back down the street in his direction. Mark hot on my heels.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"The prince is short some cash." I replied picking up the pace only to be pulled to a stop on the side of the sidewalk. "What?" I asked looking up at him.

His usual bright eyes were dark now as he looked down at me. I had a bad feeling, and the stress lines in Mark's face only made that feeling more certain. He handed me my bag and I took it slightly confused.

"I knew we were jumping into it, but I thought you would just ignore him since you're moving out. I can't say I understand why you even like Morgenstern, because he's him, but I won't force myself into this relationship either." He said shoving his hands into his pockets. "If you ever get over him, then maybe we can try again, but I can't sit by and watch you take care of him when he's cruel to you. Sorry, Mira. I really do like you. I just can't be second to a jerk like him." He said with a sad half smile before he turned around and left, melting into the crowd.

_I was dumped._ I thought to myself as I began walking again. I didn't feel any different. I wasn't crying. Did this make me a bad person for not being upset? I didn't know.

I rounded the last corner to where Jonathan said he was to see him talking to Clary. Clary! Where the hell did she come from? And just like I had predicted my temper sky rocketed as I stormed over to them, with no Mark to hold me back I was free to swing and scream as much as I wanted.

"What the hell? If you were just gonna have her pick you up then why call me you ass?" I yelled punching Jonathan in the arm. Several heads turned to look at me, but I didn't care.

Jonathan looked away from Clary to me, for a brief moment he looked startled before it was replaced with his usual expression of sarcastic arrogance. Next to him on the road was an idling taxi cab and an angry looking cabby.

"Amazing coincidence." He replied smoothly.

Clary glared at me, opening her mouth to say something but I cut her off. "Oh coming to flirt with your brother again. Does your boyfriend know? Is this the Penhallow incident in reversed?" I spat as I pushed Jonathan towards the taxi.

"Temper Tyler." Jonathan snickered.

"Shut up you annoying bastard. Get in the cab, if I'm paying we're going home!" I yelled kicking him in the shin. His dark eyes widened at me before he laughed and got into the cab.

"What are you doing with Jonathan?" Clary demanded stepping forward.

"Whatever I damn well please, he's not my brother." My mouth said before I could stop it. Clary flinched away. "Why don't you go home to your mother and plan other ways to mess with my life. I'm sure there are areas that haven't been fucked up yet." I spat then joined Jonathan in the cab slamming my door behind me.

Jonathan was still laughing to himself as the cabby took off into traffic. It was driving me crazy. What had I done that was worth his obnoxious laughter.

"What is so damn funny?" I growled at him darkly.

He looked down at me with dark humorous eyes. "You said home." He smirked. "Yet you're leaving."

I opened my mouth to correct him but he was right. I hissed out of frustration and settled for punching him in the arm again. "You're paying me back." I stated glaring out my window as my face turned red for a reason other than my being angry.

It wasn't until we were back at the loft that either of us spoke again. After paying the cab fair that had emptied my wallet I wasn't really in the mood to talk to Jonathan.

"So where's Blackthorn?" He asked as he unlocked the door.

"Dumped me." I answered flatly as I pushed past him.

"What for?" He inquired closing the door. I couldn't tell if it was just to annoy me or because he was actually curious, probably the first one. Jonathan never cared.

"Because of you." I answered honestly.

"No, seriously." He said dropping onto the couch like he owned the place, instead of his father. I was down the hall dropping my stuff in my room and kicking off my shoes.

"It's a good thing you hate me, or I don't think he would have done it." I called back as I stepped out into the living room.

"Hate you?" He cocked a brow.

"You've made it perfectly clear over the last year that you do." I said as my stomach dropped. I didn't want to talk about this with him now. I already knew the truth.

"Assumptions." He said as he turned on the television ending the conversation.

_What?_ I screamed inside my head as I went back to my room. _What the hell did that mean?_ _"Assumptions."_

* * *

**OOOOWWWWW what does this mean? I know I know. Well of course I know, but you guys will be so surprised for the next chapter, but I'll tell you this. IT'S RATED M NOT JUST FOR THE LANGUAGE. But don't go dirty on me people I'm not that kind of writer.**

**Well I hoped you enjoyed this chapter please leave a review with your thoughts. Now it is late I am tired and god knows I could always keep writing but I really need sleep. **

**Again leave a review and be prepared for tomorrow, it is the second reason I wanted to write this story. **


	16. Chapter 16: Hate?

**Hate?**

_When was the last time Jonathan brought a girl over?_ I wondered as I got ready for school Wednesday. Since the chef incident, I think. That was a little over a month ago. So much has happened since then, and after last night I can't tell if Jonathan really hates me or not. He's such a confusing person. Then there's his father who is beyond words of creepy and strange.

_Well just two more days and you'll be gone, and they won't be your problem._ I reminded myself as I left for school, Jonathan already gone like usual, and no Mark waiting for me today. Things were back to normal, well my sort of normal.

Once at school people had pretty much stopped looking at me strangely, and the whispered comments had stopped. Yeah, my life was getting back on track. I had to admit without Mark chatting away between classes I was a little bored, school wasn't exactly the funnest place on earth. At the end of the day I was slightly stumped about what to do, I didn't have to work and I had nothing left to buy before the move, so I went back to the loft.

No one was there. Jonathan at hockey practice, and Valentine at work. I had the whole place to myself, and like all the stupid teenage movies I grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer and plopped down in front of the TV watching movie after movie on Netflix. I'm always busy and never have time for such luxuries, but I was seizing the moment. Maybe Raphael was right I needed to act more like a teenager, and work less. But I was moving and my new place wasn't going to be this well stocked for a teenager, so it was now or never. I choose now.

I was able to watch The Avengers, and Captain America before I started to get bored. Jonathan was still not home and it was late. I grabbed my backpack in search of my phone, opening one of the pockets and finding the gold foil packet Lily gave me almost a month ago. I scoffed to myself and shoved it into my pants pocket not wanting it in my backpack any more. God knows what would happened if it fell out in school. My search for my phone was soon forgotten as Iron Man started to play. I was lounging on the couch and only made it several minutes into the movie before I fell asleep.

* * *

_I knew this place. I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to leave it and watch it burn to the ground, and I was only ten when I first thought that. The apartment was always cluttered no matter how hard I tried to clean it and please _them_. They were never happy, not that I can remember. Every memory was full of yelling and screaming and raised fists. I knew my place. Stay silent. Stay out of the way. Act like air. But they always saw me. They always yelled at me for something I didn't do. _

_"You ungrateful bitch!" He would yell when I got home from school. "Where the hell is dinner? You're late." He would hiss. I was never late. I knew better._

_"Shut up you fucking bastard!" She would scream from the bedroom as she tried to sleep from her double shift. I would make dinner._

_Then came my sixteenth birthday. That's what I could see now. The apartment was trashed, table flipped with a broken leg, broken glass from the lamps and plates, the strong cool breeze of the changing seasons coming in through the opened window. I had just gotten home, on time, mentally celebrating my birth even though they never saw it as anything special. They were screaming at each other like usual but it was worse this time. I just knew it as I tried to seem invisible. _

_"MIRA YOU FUCKING BITCH." He yelled grabbing my arm with a bruising force. He wreaked of alcohol._

_"THIS IS ALL YOU'RE FAULT. YOU USELESS PIECE OF TRASH!" She shrieked at me. _

_I could only stare. What was I suppose to do? I was only a kid and they were my parents, no matter how many times I wished they weren't. _

_He released my arm and clenched his hands over his head as he growled like a viscous dog. After that time slowed. I could clearly tell everything that was happening. She went to claw his face while he went for a punch at me. I dodged but he didn't and it only made him more angry. She hissed at us both, but they seemed to agree I was the bigger threat. They towered over me faces dark like predators readying for the kill. It wasn't out of self defense, well it was partly, but it was mostly because I had had enough. I charged at them and knocked them back towards the window that opened up onto the rickety old fire escape. They stumbled backwards fighting with each other and crashing through the glass. I stepped forward as they collided with the metal platform blood splattering every where from cuts caused by the glass. _

_As the fire escape gave under their combined weight and force I could see the utter fear and hatred in their eyes. They never lied when they said they never wanted me. I watched as they fell the six stories to the cement below-_

* * *

I jolted awake from the nightmare. My heart racing and head light. I sighed in relief that I wasn't actually back there. I never wanted to go back. That was over. The front door of the loft creaked closed. The only light coming from the TV. I didn't move as the person huffed. I knew that voice, it was Jonathan. He was finally back. What time was it?

"Hey you alive?' He said as his footsteps came closer.

I couldn't find my voice. I was still frozen from the dream, and I don't know what compelled me to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep still. It made me feel like a stupid little kid.

"Hey," He said reaching the couch. He sounded sober, which was a change especially considering how late it was. "She's sleeping on the couch in a guys place. Moron." He muttered.

Everything went quiet, and still for a long moment. Then I felt his breath on my cheek. It was warm and stirred the stray hairs around my face. It got closer and closer but then it pulled back and my heart froze painfully in my chest. My hand shot out to where he was as my eyes popped open, I grabbed his collar stopping his getaway.

"Do you really hate me?" Burst from my lips as I met his surprised gaze. "Only pull away if you hate me. Really really hate me." I said as my stomach flipped and twisted inside while my heart practically shook in my chest. I could feel the prickle of tears as I watched my words sink into him.

The pause between my words and his response seemed like years. With each heart beat my hand loosened on his collar. _He hates me. Jonathan hates me._ I thought over and over as my hand fell between us.

"You're pretty sly Tyler." He smirked before pressing his mouth to mine. In that instant my head swam with disbelief, but his lips were something I could have never imagined up. Warm soft and well trained that sent my heart into a marathon.

Before I knew it I had my arms wrapped around his neck and we were falling to the floor. Jonathan chuckled into the kiss but didn't break it. His hands traveled down my body and it wasn't disgusting like the night he trapped me in his room. I liked it. With each touch it was like he was defrosting me. I was no longer cold, or felt alone. It made my heart burst with warmth and joy. _  
_

My fingers knotted in his hair which was as soft as the corn silk it looked like. Time seemed to jump forward as we pressed ourselves together on the floor of his living room. Most girls would imagine their first time would be in a hotel or some where romantic with the guy they loved and it would be sweet and slow and gentle. This was anything but. As clothing was being discarded I barely had the mind to pull out the condom in my pocket and give it to Jonathan who chuckled again at my actions. Everything hurt but at the same time it was pleasant. I felt my eyes water, but I suppressed them while running my nails down Jonathan's back.

As we continued my mind went blank except for _He doesn't hate me._ _Jonathan didn't hate me._

* * *

It was over. I had lost my virginity, and Jonathan was lounging on the floor with only his boxers tugged on because I threw them at him. In return he had thrown his t-shirt at me and I pulled it on as I pressed my hands to my temples trying to actually comprehend what just happened.

IT REALLY HAPPENED.

We sat in the silence. I didn't know what to do, or what to say after what we did. I was just thankful Valentine hadn't returned home yet, this would be one hell of a thing to try and explain. I peeked sideways at Jonathan who seemed to be content and comfortable where he laid, only a foot away. His body was well built, strong, and beautiful. Even after all our rolling around together I still wanted to touch him more. Trace the lean muscle, run my palm over the flat stomach. My face flushed from my thoughts.

_Yeah I love him. it's not just worry. This ass has me loving him._

Breaking the silence was Jonathan's phone. It was almost midnight who could have been calling him.

"Yeah?" He answered it swiftly.

There was a pause as the caller responded. I glared at him as a bubble of anger sprung up in my core.

"Oh really, and what are you offering?" He chuckled. That did it.

I crawled over him and grabbed his phone. "Why don't you try some guy your own age slut." I spat into the phone the hung up on who ever it was then sent the phone sliding across the carpet and down the hall.

Jonathan had propped himself up on his elbows with a wicked smirk on his face. "Jealous?"

"Of what?" I said gathering my clothes.

"Just say it Mira." He coaxed and it only made me madder.

Looking down at him I challenged darkly, "Even if I said it, it wouldn't change the fact that you don't care. Not about me or about yourself." His smirk slipped. "I've already told you how I feel, so stop screwing around with your life. Even if I don't live here anymore I'll still help you, you moron." I stated as I walked down the hall with my clothes. "And I don't care if you don't want it."

* * *

**Welllllll? Please leave a review. Next chapter things get real intense with the Dinner at Taki's. **


	17. Chapter 17: Taki's

**Taki's**

There's the awkward meeting after a one night stand, then there's the awkward meeting after admitting you'll never leave said one night stand alone. The latter was the encounter I had with Jonathan Thursday morning. My stomach was in my throat strangling me making eating impossible. He didn't say anything about the night before. He was completely normal. I don't know why I was flustered, maybe I expected something to change, for him to at least acknowledge that I was being serious, but this was Jonathan. He took nothing seriously, not even himself. Except well his ego.

School dragged on and on, and I saw Jonathan everywhere. Passing between classes, the library, the cafeteria, at the end of the day as he went to hockey practice. I couldn't escape him! I tried to get him out of my head, but where ever I turned he would be there to just remind me I was needlessly caring about a guy who wished I would just vanish. _But he doesn't hate me._ I learned that much, but that didn't mean he likes me either.

I sighed as I got on the bus. Without even thinking I found myself heading towards Pandemonium. I couldn't stop myself. If I had to be honest, I missed Raphael and his muttering in Spanish and his constant butting into my life. I needed a distraction from Jonathan, the dinner tonight, and whatever Valentine had planned doing that. Pandemonium was always a good distraction.

"¿Qué demonios? You're not suppose to be here." Complained Raphael as I entered the bar.

"No wonder you have so few costumers. You're so rude to them all." I smirked as I perched on a stool. Madame Dorothea was there and so was Bat. They all seemed utterly surprised to see me. What gossip had they been trading?

Raphael leaned his forearms on the bar and looked right at me. His dark eyes narrowing as they ran over my face and down my neck and shoulders to my hands that were folded on the bar. "She's up to something." He concluded looking at Bat from the corner of his eye.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not up to anything, morons. I got bored, and needed a place to kill time."

"So you came to work?" Bat raised a brow.

"No the girl just doesn't have many friends." Dorothea stated after a sip of her gin and tonic.

I sighed and banged my head on the bar. "Thanks Dorothea. You're always helpful, and right to the point."

"You're welcome, darling." The old woman hummed.

I groaned.

"Does this mean you're already to move?" Bat asked patting me on the back. I lifted my head and rested my chin in the palm of my right hand.

"Yeah. Just the last of packing needs to be done, and I can do that tomorrow." I answered

Raphael suddenly snapped straight up, no longer leaning on the bar. His dark eyes wide with surprise. _That's really weird of him._

"Mira, your hickey's showing." He muttered under his breath.

I stared at him for a moment not understanding what the hell he was talking about. Then he tapped the side of his neck subtly and I gasped gripping the side he indicated. No way I had a hickey. I didn't see anything this morning when I was getting dressed, but I was also distracted with Jonathan's attitude. Holy crap it couldn't be real.

"What?" Bat asked narrowing his eyes at me. I jumped down from the stool and hurried to the kitchen.

"No way." I muttered to myself as I used a metal tray as a mirror. I pulled the collar of my hoodie aside to see a big black bruise where my neck met my shoulder. "Jonathan." I hissed under my breath. _At least I got even with my nails down his back._ I thought as I readjusted my hoodie and sat the tray aside. Just in case I pulled my crimson hair out of the bun it was in and let it fall over my shoulders to make sure no one could see the hickey. I was not admitting to anything, or telling them anything. Only god knows what they would think if I did.

"What just happened?" Bat asked looking between Raphael and I.

Neither of us said anything.

Madame Dorothea looked up and with her old color faded eyes took in my new appearance and a smirk pulled at her aged lips. "A lover's bite." She chortled. I glared as my stomach dropped. Why did old people have to be so observant?

"A what?" Bat gasped.

"Thanks for the conversation. I'm leaving." I said turning for the door instead of my vacated stool.

"Woah, wait Mira." Bat called jumping up from his stool. "Does this mean you're dating that Mark guy?" He asked and I knew Lily and Raphael had been telling him everything.

_Why did I like these people again?_ "Nope. He dumped me." I replied still moving for the door.

"Really?" Raphael asked.

"Yup. I'll see you Saturday." I waved over my shoulder without looking at them. My face felt hot, and it was probably a bright shade of red. I didn't have much of a sex life but it was still mine and they didn't need to know about it, when it was probably over before it really ever started.

* * *

When I got back to the loft I killed the rest of the time before the dinner with doing homework. It did a fairly good job at distracting me from Jonathan and the hickey he left on my neck. When the front door opened around six I wasn't surprised it was Jonathan, Taki's was a fancy place and he wasn't dressed for the restaurant anymore than I was. We didn't say anything as he made his way to his room, and me to mine. I don't own dresses, only slacks and blouses. So I settled for a pair of black slacks and a dark green blouse that I've been told "fits your body just right." Which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a subtle way to say I look cheap.

I stepped out of my room with my hair pulled out of my face. I made my way to the bathroom to see if the collar of the shirt covered the hickey, and it just barely did. With a groan I began to take my hair down.

"He-llo." Jonathan sang grabbing my arm. I had left the bathroom door open, _how stupid of me._ He moved closer holding my arm and hair away from the side of my neck. "I do good work." He smirked as I pulled away.

"Shut up." I sighed not in the mood. I began taking down my hair again as he leaned against the door jam.

"What are you doing?' He asked raising a blond brow.

"Hiding it." I answered pulling my wavy crimson hair over the shoulder with the hickey.

Jonathan scoffed as he turned back down the hall. "It looks better up though." He said nonchalantly before disappearing back into his room.

My heart clenched inside my chest, as I stared at myself in the mirror. My face was red. _Ugh annoying jerk._ I thought as I began fixing my hair.

"Hurry up!" Jonathan called from the front door. "The taxi's here already."

"Calm down." I grumbled as I joined him by the door. Tossing on my coat as we headed out the door.

"Your hair's up." He commented as we rode down in the elevator.

I pulled up the collar of my jacket while mumbling, "So what?"

Jonathan just shrugged and looked away from me. I expected some arrogant response because I listened to him, but there wasn't even a hint of his ego. _What the hell was going on with him? Did he get smashed in the head during practice? Was he sober?_ I spent the whole cab ride trying to figure what was going on. Everything was changing, but at the same time not. I was leaving, Jonathan was still distant, Valentine was still creepy and secretive, but for the first time ever we were all having dinner together. I felt like I was slowly going insane. I think that's the effect the Morgenstern's have on people.

* * *

Taki's, a famous restaurant with a modernize Victorian theme. Tall windows, muted colors with gold accents. When we arrived Jonathan seemed to know what he was doing as he past the matradee and went up a set of stairs that led to a second serving area. This one was set up more for V.I.P.s with the tables spread apart and individual servers for each table. Jonathan made his way without pause to a back corner where a large table was set up. I almost turned around and made a mad dash for the exit when I saw who had joined Valentine, but the man shot me a dark look and I knew my escape would be impossible.

"You've finally arrived." Valentine commented as Jonathan and I took ours seats. Jonathan had taken the seat to his father's right and I next to Jonathan. Across from Jonathan sat his mother, Jocelyn, and across from me was Clary. _Of course it was Clary, who else would I be forced to face in this bizarre situation. _ At the other end of the table sat a man with brown hair and glasses, my guess he was Jocelyn's fiance, Valentine's old best friend. There was a lot of hate sitting at this table, one could almost see the stress roll of one another.

"Jonathan couldn't choose a tie." I teased.

"No, Tyler here was playing dress up." Jonathan retorted.

"And see, I look better than you do." I smirked despite the knot in my stomach.

"No one ever looks better than me." Jonathan stated smoothing back his pale blonde hair.

"Alright." Valentine said ending our banter. I bite my lip to keep from giggling at Jonathan as he stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth so his father couldn't see.

Clary and Jocelyn both gave us strange wide eyed looks like they had never seen to people exchange a shared dislike in another person. _What were they even doing here? I thought Valentine said this was just gonna be the three of us?_

Valentine waved over a waiter and he took our orders, the adults had wine, and the rest of us has some carbonated juice. I didn't speak fancy, so for all I know it could have been plum juice that would kill me. Once the waiter was gone Valentine took over as head of the table.

"It's about time we did this." He said looking at Luke, who sat straight up in his chair. Blue eyes never looking away from Valentine like he posed some sort of threat. Luke's presence reminded me of a guard dog, if he had a tail I'm sure it would have been still as he took in his surroundings. "How's the restaurant going, Lucian?" Valentine asked leaning back in his chair.

"It's Luke. And it's fine, Valentine." There was a darkness to the way Luke said Valentine's name. It wasn't full of hate but with something else, like betrayal.

"Why have you called us here today, Valentine?" Jocelyn spoke up. The wrinkles at the corner of her mouth deepened with her stress. Clearly I wasn't the only one who didn't want to be here. "What business could you have with all of us?"

"It's not you, so much as the children." Valentine corrected calmly. The man never missed a beat, it was so unnerving. "Jonathan and Clary as siblings deserve to see each other, don't they? Also you have unfinished business with Mira, who I'm sure has a few words to share with you." Valentine looked from his ex-wife to me with an even gaze. "It's time secrets came to light."

My stomach dropped to the floor. Secrets were secrets for a reason. Looking to Jonathan he didn't seemed fazed by his father's words, while I was falling apart on the inside.

**_"You useless bitch."_**

* * *

**Sorry it took me a while but my back has been hurting! Tomorrow I don't know if there will be a chapter I'm going to help my great aunt clean her yard. So be patient there will be another chapter soon. BTW we've got like eight chapters left until the end! HOLY COW RIGHT?**

**So leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18: Secrets

**Secrets**

The waiter returned with our drinks, then left again since Valentine seemed to have already ordered everyone's dinner. Everyone's eyes were on Valentine, well all but Clary's who kept going from her birth father to Jonathan and I and down to her lap. The only explanation was that she was texting everything that was happening to someone, whether it was Isabelle or Jace I didn't know. The atmosphere around the table was so heavy and tense that if anyone were to walk towards us I'm sure they'd walk straight into an invisible wall.

"Is this about the divorce?" Jonathan asked in a bored tone. "It was just one stupid case."

Valentine's dark gaze fell upon his son with a cold glance. "It wasn't just some stupid case." He stated. "It was the case of a close friend of mine, or at least he was." As he spoke his eyes moved to me and my stomach fell through the floor and landed in the dinning room right below us. I felt sick. How much did Valentine know about me? I thought he was just some creepy old guy offering housing to a random girl a year ago, maybe I was wrong.

"Was that case so important that you let your family fall apart?" Jocelyn hissed and Clary's head snapped up from her lap. Her green eyes, just like her mother's, were wide and full of questions.

"You knew from the start that my work was important. That it would keep me away for days on end. You said 'I do' and goodbye, Jocelyn." Valentine's tone never changed, it stayed even and firm. "I never wanted you to go."

"It was a month Valentine. You abandoned us for a month without any word." Jocelyn's face was turning red like her hair. Her eyes wild with distaste and anger. Luke was looking at her with a sort of sympathy. He loved her, it was plainly clear in his face, while Valentine's expression never changed. Maybe he loved her at first, but not anymore. He showed no emotion or spared the woman a single glance as he spoke.

"And yet I still believed in him, _mother_." Jonathan spoke up. His dark eyes narrowed at his mother who flinched away. "Four years old and I choose him over you and _him_." Jonathan's glare slipped from his mother to Luke who didn't seem fazed.

_Four years old! That's when she left. Clary would have been only three, and wouldn't remember any of it._

"What made the case so special?" Clary asked and the side of Valentine's mouth quirked up.

"The friend of mine was arrested for the attempted murder of his daughter. Of course in the end the case fell through because his wife wouldn't testify against him, and the neighbors had no evidence to the claim." Valentine answered his daughter, but he wasn't looking at her. His black eyes were locked with my hazel ones and with a nervous gulp of air I felt my stomach land in the center on the earth where it shriveled and burned with fear. I didn't want to think about what was going on. Clary followed his gaze before looking down at her lap and I could practically hear the clicking as she typed away a text.

"Nathan?" Luke spoke up. "Our junior from high school."

Valentine's eyes moved away from me. "Yes, Nathan Tyler." Now Jonathan looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I felt like puking. "I had to help him, so I did everything I could, and it worked. He was let go and returned to his family."

"How could you do that?" Jocelyn gasped.

"Because I had made a deal with him. That's what took the whole month. He wouldn't hand over his daughter, but he agreed to hand over custody if something should ever happened to him or his wife. His wife wouldn't sign the papers and kept yelling, "Who-""

""-needs that useless trash."" I finished for him. The words were like acid on my tongue. I stared at my bubbling liquid, unable to meet any of the eyes that stared at me. I wasn't scared, or embarrassed. I was ashamed. Of my pathetic father, of my horribly selfish mother. I couldn't believe I even came from them.

"Valentine?" Jocelyn asked startled.

"I had another long case just over a year ago at the end of October," Valentine continued like I hadn't interrupted him. "Nathan and Emily had fallen from their apartment and died. It was a horrible case, everyone thought they had decided to die together, or that someone had killed them, but that wasn't the case. They hated each other. Loathed one another to no end, but were high school sweethearts determined to show their parents wrong. They had been fighting relentlessly since their wedding and the issues had just boiled over. They fought and by accident they fell and perished." Valentine explained and I clamped my hands together. I had long since removed my jacket and I could only fiddle with the hem of my blouse as I listened to his words.

I could see the whole scene in my head. The yelling, the raised hands, the looks of complete hatred as they charged towards me. The only thing Valentine didn't know was that they hadn't fallen through the window on their own. I could feel the color drain from my face as I saw them plummet to the cement. The scarlet splattering everywhere, the motionless figures in the pooling red. It made my stomach churn and I was sure I was going to puke.

"Then," Luke began but Valentine cut him off quickly.

"I handled all the legalities and took in the child like Nathan and Emily had given me the right to do." Valentine concluded and my heart stopped.

My head snapped up and I stared at his arrogant expression. "You're my legal guardian?" I blurted out catching everyone's attention.

"You didn't know?" Clary muttered.

"You've made me pay rent." I accused ignoring the redhead.

"And it's been collected in a savings account for whatever you want to do with it once you're out of high school." He replied without pause.

"I could have sued her without a problem?" I questioned as I pointed to Jocelyn who looked insulted.

"I asked you if you wanted to." Valentine brushed it off smoothly.

"Why didn't you tell me you worked on my parents case?" I demanded slamming my hands down on the table. Clary was the only one who jumped. Jonathan next to me watched on with a blank expression.

"Because it wasn't important. It didn't involve you." He said matter-of-factly.

My temper was boiling. My mouth was running wild. I was a complete mess. I was angry, sad, upset, lonely, and nervous. I couldn't tell why or what was to be so freaked for but I was. I slammed my hands down on the table again and jumped to my feet knocking my chair back. "You bastard. You know nothing!" All eyes widened. "I had everything to do with their deaths. They deserved it too. I only wished they would have burned instead of fallen!" My voice raised and I was sure I was gaining the attention of the other V.I.P. diners, but I didn't care, and neither did my mouth. "I pushed them! I got rid of them! And I would do it again. I hated them, and they hated me." I glared right at Valentine, but he showed no sign of caring.

Then everything seemed to happen at once. Clary was lifting her phone to her ear while I was storming through the mob of waiters delivering our meal. I pushed past them all until I was out the French doors that led to the stairs. I could hear the commotion I left behind me as I descended the stairs, rubbing away the stupid tears that had sprung up out of nowhere. I collided with someone at the bottom of the stairs. I pulled back to apologize until I saw who it was.

It was Jace. Phone pulled away from his ear and Clary's frantic voice chirping from the speaker. We stared at each other for a moment, at a complete lost. This wasn't exactly expected, but surely Clary was planning something having her boyfriend show up in the middle of her messed up family dinner.

"You okay?" Jace finally spoke as he closed his phone ending Clary's calling of his name.

"Clary been texting you?" I asked trying to will the tears to stop. They didn't. As my bad mood increased the tears fell harder, strangling my throat, and leaving me staring at the pale golden outline of Jace's head.

"Yeah." He exhaled.

"Then you know the answer to that stupid question." I mumbled.

Jace's phone began ringing in his hand and he looked down at it before opening it and pressing it to his ear. "Clary it's a family dinner. I can't go. Bye." He said and I could hear her hiss over the phone as he hung up.

"You're dead when she gets a hold of you." I stated as I began pushing past him.

"Yeah, well I can't always save her." He sighed as he stepped aside.

As I made my way past the matradee Jace followed after me. I glared over my shoulder at him. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Do you have money for a cab?" He challenge pushing open the door of Taki's and stepping out into the freezing winter night. I had forgotten my coat, again. _I really need to start to remember to grab it when I hurry out of a place._

"No." I answered wrapping my arms around myself as we stepped outside.

"Then I'll give you a lift, my bike's out back." He said heading for a side parking lot for a neighboring shop.

"You ride a bike?" I inquired as I rubbed at the annoying tears that felt like they were freezing to my face.

"Of course I do." He chuckled. "And here." He dumped his jacket on my head. How many times was this going to happen to me? Getting saved by the last person I expected, when I really needed a getaway. First Jonathan, then Mark, and now Jace. When was it going to stop?

I pulled the jacket on as I followed after him. Around the corner of the restaurant was a sleek black bike with two helmets, clearing he was planning on stealing Clary away and not me. I took the helmet when he handed it to me, and strapped it on. The helmet had no face guard making like look more like a scooter helmet.

"Get on." He said as he tossed one of his long legs over the seat and kicked the stand off the ground.

"You're girlfriend is gonna be pissed." I stated getting on.

He walked the bike out of the parking spot and around the corner before starting it up. The bike roared to life under us and I gripped the back of his heavy sweater as we lurched forward.

"Mira?" I heard called across the packing lot. I turned to look at who was calling me just as Jace got the motorcycle going.

It was Jonathan with my jacket. He was staring at us with a serious expression. Dark and calculating. _He's mad. Really mad._ Jace, before I could tell him to stop, sped out of the parking lot wind whipping past us causing me to stick closer to the Lightwood than I wanted. I was sure Jonathan could see us under the streetlights as we charged up the street and into traffic. I wish he hadn't seen. I wish I hadn't followed Jace. I wish my life made more sense than chaos. I wish Jonathan had just followed me out of the restaurant.

_I wish he liked me._ The thought caused a new round of tears to fall as I clung closer to Jace as he whipped around a corner.

* * *

**Leave a review. We're getting close to the end. Are you guys ready for Norte drama?**


	19. Chapter 19: Valentine

**Valentine**

"You suck at driving. How in hell did you get your licence?" I criticized as I got off the bike. We were in front of Luke's Chinese restaurant, not at all the place I had expected to wind up.

Jace put the kick stand down and turned to face me as he removed his helmet. His expression was smug, much like Jonathan's usually was. No wonder they hated each other so much they were so alike that they couldn't stand it. Though Jonathan had a short temper and Jace seemed to be the kind to brood alone in a corner.

"I'm an excellent driver." He declared.

I unstrapped my helmet and tossed it at him. "That's why we practically glided down South Ave?" I challenged. He caught the helmet with ease.

"It was icy, not my fault." He defended hanging the helmet on his handle bars. "Hungry?" He asked stepping around the bike and towards the restaurant.

I was about to deny it but my stomach growled putting any arguments to bed. "Yeah, whatever." I grumbled.

Jace smirked as he held the door for me. A polite gentleman. _I wonder if Jonathan would ever do any of this for his girlfriend? If he had a real girlfriend not a weekend call._

We were barely inside when I was clasped into a tight embrace cutting off my oxygen and making me go lightheaded. "Mira what's wrong?" Bat's voice sounded right next to my ear. Next to me I could hear the faint chuckle of Jace.

"A-i-Air." I struggled to say.

Bat's grip loosened and sweet oxygen filled my lungs. It smelled like egg rolls and chicken lo mien.

"What happened?" He demanded inspecting my face. The tears had stopped with worry I wouldn't survive Jace's driving, but my eyes were probably red making it a dead giveaway that I was crying.

"Nothing. Teenage drama you know." I brushed it off.

Bat didn't buy it. His eyes narrowed, his brows pulled together, and coupled with his scar made him look impossibly intimidating and scary, but I knew him. He wouldn't push. He wouldn't fight with me. He was just. . . _overprotective._ Yeah that was it. Like an older brother, but not like Jonathan-older-brother, normal-older-brother-who's-not-related-to-me.

Bat's eyes drifted over to Jace who was shuffling about with his hands in his pockets. "You two aren't? His not the one to-?" Bat motioned to his neck and my face grew a hundred degrees hotter.

"NO." I shoved him away. "God no. Are you crazy? Jace and I that's disgusting."

"Hey that's offending." Jace spoke up. "I've been told I'm angel among men. My mere presence makes women swoon." He said arrogantly.

Bat's suspicious look faded as he turned back to me. "Yeah, you're right. No idea what I was thinking." He said and Jace made an irritated sound. "So why are you two together anyway?" He questioned crossing his arms.

"The angel of swooning and I bumped into each other and I needed a ride. But apparently he decided to buy me dinner instead." I smirked at Jace would stopped his pacing.

"I didn't say that." He said narrowing his golden eyes.

"Isn't he a generous driver." I said stepping around Bat and towards the buffet line.

Behind me Jace asked, "Is she always like this?"

Bat chuckled. "This is her sweet side."

"Sweet? She's like a little devil with boobs. Ouch!"

"Watch it Jace." Bat warned. "Mira hits harder than I do."

Moments later Bat disappeared behind a set or swinging doors to a room labeled kitchen. Jace joined me in gathering a plate of food. We were silent for a while as we surveyed the choices, but Jace is clearly not the type who likes the quiet.

"So what are you gonna do now?" He asked. He was clearly not talking about eating.

"What can I do?" I replied stepping away from the buffet lines and to an empty table across the open floor. Jace joined me.

"Do you like living with the Morgensterns? Aren't they difficult?" He inquired sitting across from me.

I used my fork to poke at a dumpling as I replied, "Difficult doesn't mean impossible. In reality it's quite simple living there. Better than where I use to live, so yeah I like living there."

"How do you deal with Jonathan?" He asked flatly.

"A lot of yelling and screaming and cooking." The answer rolled right off my tongue.

"Cooking?" Jace snorted.

"Food soothes the savage beast." I smirked.

"That's music."

"Okay, then next time Jonathan starts a fight with you why don't you try singing him a lullaby. See how that works for you."

Jace sighed and I laughed.

_Maybe he isn't as annoying as I thought._

* * *

Jace and I ate, chatted here and there, and Jace took me home after Bat smothered me in another hug. His driving was still crazy, but I made it home in one piece. I tossed my helmet to him and shrugged out of his jacket. We said nothing in farewell, we weren't really friends. With a small wave he took off down the street and I turned to enter the warm lobby. I rode the elevator up to the loft and as I stood in front of the door I realized I didn't have my keys, or my phone. They were both in my jacket which Jonathan had.

_Maybe they're home._ I thought as I knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

I knocked again, louder. Again nothing.

With a huff I leaned against the door and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor. I would have to wait. Maybe they were still at dinner. Maybe they were going somewhere else after the meal. Maybe they weren't coming back.

I pressed my forehead to my knees trying to remain calm. Of course they were coming back. This was their home. Valentine was my guardian, legally. He had to come back to take care of me.

_WAIT!_

He was my guardian. That meant he had to take care of me. I had to live with him, I didn't have to move! The day we met in front of that motel was probably all arranged by him. He was probably the "government official" that had paid for my stay while my parents deaths were being investigated. He knew where to find me, and offered me a deal that wouldn't reveal his motive. All along he must have known I hated my parents, and I didn't even know about the attempt at murder until tonight. Valentine definitely knew. There was just no other way he could have planned out this all without knowing how I felt about _them_.

_I don't know if that makes me happy, or scared. How could one man plan all that? He's much smarter than I thought, so what did that say about Jonathan? Did he know?_

Before I knew it I was asleep in my awkward curled up position. Images of Jonathan flashing across my mind. His sarcastic smile, his arrogant laugh, his serious expression, his hurt and betrayed look in Taki's parking lot. All of them came and went, and I fell more and more in love. _That bastard._


	20. Chapter 20: White and Red

**White and Red**

I moaned as my body seemed to move on it's own. I tried to pull away from the fog of sleep but it was heavy and called me back just as I realized I wasn't moving at all. Something else was moving me. My head lolled back then to the side against something warm and firm. I was barely under the spell of sleep when I was jostled, my body tensed for a moment then relaxed as the gentle sway of movement started again. There was something pressed against my back that sent waves of heat across my skin, but it was hardly noticeable as my entire left side was pressed to a solid wall of warmth that was so familiar as it was foreign.

I moaned again as I buried my face into the relaxing heat that fended of the chill that had at some point settled over my body. My mind was a mess of warmth and pleasure and the darkness that called me back to slumber. I wanted to fall back to sleep, enjoying the extra hours I had gathered since Raphael gave me the week vacation, but I also wanted to stay awake and figure out what the mass of heat was that seemed to wrap around me.

Suddenly there was a brightness that pierced through even my closed eyelids. I involuntarily whined in the back of my throat like a child as I found a place against the warm mass where my head fit perfectly. I pressed my forehead and eyes to it blocking out the light. I took a deep breath as I relaxed back into the dark unconsciousness that beckoned. As I slipped into the dark place my nose was filled with a clean sharp scent that I had grown use to over the last year of my life.

"Jon-athan." I breathed out as the darkness took hold.

* * *

_It was white. And everything twinkled. It took me a moment before I recognized that I was standing in Central Park. Snow covered ever surface like a thick blanket was dropped over everything green. At first I couldn't feel the cold, but then it was like I was ripped out of my clothes and mother nature cranked up the wind. A chill ran down my spine as I hugged my arms to myself. _

_Looking down I saw that I was fully dressed; boots, jeans, thick winter jacket. I shouldn't have been as cold as I was, but I was. I looked back up and suddenly I wasn't alone in the park anymore. Across the large pond walking hand-in-hand was Jace and Clary, looking completely at ease for probably the first time in weeks. I turned a little to the left to see a couple sitting cozily on a brushed off bench. It was Jocelyn and Luke with rosy cheeks and teenage smiles, my stomach knotted at the sight of them, so I kept turning. I stopped when I saw Bat and Eve kicking snow at each other. I couldn't hear them, though they weren't that far off, but the smiles and the shaking of their shoulders suggested they were laughing and having fun._

_As I continued to turn my ears began to hum with the distant buzz of an alarm. I did my best to ignore since it probably had nothing to do with me. Across the park ducking and weaving between trees while throwing snowballs was Isabelle and her brunette follower. I quickly past over them as I spotted Valentine standing atop a hill over looking the pond all alone. His eyes were darker at the distance but it was clear his eyes weren't trained on me. I followed his gaze over my shoulder to where Luke and Jocelyn sat, not at all surprised. I looked back towards him and wondered how he was able to keep his emotions off his face. It was blank and pale, like the cold didn't effect him at all. The man was watching his ex-wife flirt and cuddle his ex-best friend merrily, while he was left behind taking care of his son -not well- and a child that wasn't really his but he made the effort to protect it, me. I felt pity for the man as I moved on, the hum in my head growing louder like the emergency vehicle was getting closer to the park. _

_I stopped turning and stood frozen, and not from the cold weather. The beauty that was the white snow was disturbed by red. Lots of red as dark as maroon in the center and as light as scarlet at the growing edges. A scream hitched in my throat as I noticed a figure in the center of all the red. His practically white hair plastered to his head with the thick red liquid that was coating and melting the snow. I took a shaky step forward not believing, but then I broke into a full out sprint towards Jonathan. _

_I couldn't get close to him. I kept falling in the snow. Deeper and deeper each time, until the hole became bottomless and I couldn't stop the decent. I screamed for help. My ears were blaring with the sound of a siren drowning out my words to my own ears._

_"SAVE JONATHAN. JONATHAN?"_

* * *

I jolted awake with a choking gasp. I started coughing and shaking. When I got my breathing under control I ran my hands through my hair, it was damp with sweat and my fingers were still shaking. I turned to my nightstand to check my alarm for the time. 5:30 a.m. I sighed with relief. I still had time before school started.

_Wait! When did I get in my room?_ I thought and my head snapped up. Then I remembered the scent before drifting back off to sleep. _Jonathan had carried me. He came home! _

I covered my face with my hands as I chortled to myself. My heart clenched in my chest as my dream flashed into my mind. I flinched away dropping my hands from my face and gripping my blankets. He wasn't dead. Jonathan was fine, and here, and I didn't have to leave. . . The dark look on Jonathan's face from Taki's parking lot drifted into my mind, _Then again maybe I should leave._

I groaned and kicked my blankets off like a frustrated child. I got up and made my way to the bathroom where I indulged myself in a bubble bath and scented candles to see if they actually worked to help relax someone.

They didn't.

* * *

**I know short but fear not. There will be another very soon. I SWEAR. It's just been a really busy few days for me, job hunting hanging with friends because HELL IT'S SUMMER and I can. **

**Thank you for being patient.**

**Leave a review please ^^**


	21. Chapter 21: The Dream

**The Dream**

I must have stepped into the Twilight Zone. There was no other explanation except that I've gone crazy, finally. Maybe I was crazy. I tilted my head to the side to get a better look but nothing changed, I was still staring at the bizarre scene in the loft kitchen.

"You're cooking right?" I asked taking a cautious step towards the kitchen.

"What else would I be doing with this in my hand?" Jonathan challenged holding up the spatula in his hand. In front on him was the stove and on top of it he was cooking eggs. Scrambled and easy, but he was still cooking.

"Scaring children like an intimidating parent." I shrugged still not believe that Jonathan was cooking for himself. I never thought I would see the sight, ever.

Jonathan didn't say anything to that as he scrapped the spatula across the bottom of the pan. I watched until the end, like if I looked away then it would disappear and a chef would appear to claim the pan and the cooking food as it's creation. Jonathan filled two plates and without a snarky retort he handed me a plate before disappearing into his room to eat alone. The eggs were dry, but edible. After last night I thought I would have to make a full course meal to make up for my getaway with Jace, but Jonathan wasn't flying off the handle.

Then again, he carried me to bed last night. If he was really mad he would have yelled at me until I woke up, but he didn't. _He's taking it silently. He plotting something that's going to be horrible._ I groaned as the thought ran through my mind.

I continued to eat the eggs he made just because they made me happy. I know he doesn't like me, but this gesture is almost like being kind and caring. That's what I pretended they were, just so my heart wouldn't strangle me while I ate.

* * *

"What are you waiting for?" I asked Jonathan as I stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. He was leaning against the wall next to the doors, his phone in hand. He shoved it into his pocket as I walked up to him. Something was definitely up with Jonathan. Cooking, and not gone when I leave for school.

"Nothing." He replied flatly turning to go out the door.

I followed after him. We shuffled up the sidewalk in silence. I stole glimpses of him as we walked, he was focused on the path ahead of us. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, his breath coming out as quickly disappearing clouds of white. The rising sun caught his hair just right making it look more gold than white, giving the effect that he was a dark angel. Handsome, strong, and dangerous.

_ His practically white hair plastered to his head with the thick red liquid that was coating and melting the snow. _I shook off the dream. That wasn't going to happen, it was just a stupid dream, and Jonathan was tough. Jonathan could handle anything.

"You have a game tonight." I stated. There had been excited talk about the hockey teams next game.

"Yeah." He said flatly.

"Are you going to cripple the other team?" I asked looking up at him.

"It's what I'm good at." He answered without meeting my gaze.

"Maybe I'll go." I said scuffing my feet against the pavement as we approached school.

"I doubt I'll need an ice pack." Was the last thing he said before disappearing into a group of his jock buddies, abandoning me.

_Did he just walk me to school?_ I wondered as I made my way up the front steps. What was with Jonathan? What was he planning? I wasn't sure if I should be happy with all the strange attention or afraid that he was going to do something horrible.

"Hey Tyler!" Someone called as I started down the hallway. I turned to see Jace waving at me. He was standing with Mark, Clary and several others. They all stared at Jace like he was talking to himself.

"Ah, yeah." I muttered confused as I waved back. _What the hell was that?_ I turned around and began walking again.

"Hey, get over here!" Jace called again, and I looked over my shoulder. Was he being serious? "Come on Devil Woman." Apparently he was.

"What?" I questioned stepping over to them. Mark and I gave each other friendly yet awkward smiles. I haven't seen him since we broke up. Was it only a few days ago? It felt like weeks.

"Tell Clary I only took you home." He said gesturing to his girlfriend who looked ready to strangle me. At the moment I didn't blame her. I would probably be jealous too if I was in her position.

"I told you, you'd get in trouble." I said looking at Jace. He didn't look worried or upset, in fact he looked like he was enjoying himself. His gold eyes bright and shining.

"So you two did see each other last night?" Clary stated looking back and forth between us. Mark's jaw dropped for a moment before he composed himself.

"He was kind of hard to miss when we collided on the stairs." I said and Jace chuckled.

"What?" Clary gasped.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry, I would never go after Jace. He just gave me a ride home last night."

"See I told you." Jace said proudly.

"She could be lying for you." Clary countered crossing her arms.

"She doesn't lie." Mark and Jace said in unison.

I don't know why I thought that that was so funny but I did. I started laughing, and Jace joined me after a while. I laughed so hard my stomach started to hurt and my eyes began to water.

"What the hell?" Clary breathed confused.

"Sorry," I said wiping at my eyes. "It's just so funny to hear people say that."

"It's true." Mark stated.

"It's an unfortunate trait." Jace added shaking his head.

I chuckled. "Wow."

"Where's the beast?" Jace asked looking around the hallway. Was he using a code word for Jonathan? Why?

"I don't know. Have you been practicing your singing?" I joked. Everyone gathered looked at us like we were crazy.

"Even better. I've mastered the art of Baked Alaska." Jace smirked.

"Oh yes hand over a flaming dessert, that'll end beautifully for you." I laughed.

"Hmm, maybe I should have rethought that." Jace muttered to himself.

"I have to go. Bye." I said still laughing as I stepped away from them.

* * *

School went by in a flash and for once I was thankful for it. I would attend the hockey game tonight and watch Jonathan kick ass. I had a stupid smile on my face as I walked out of school. I took my time on the walk home as I window shopped along the way, there was no rush for me. I was still smiling to myself as I rode the elevator up to the loft, but it literally fell off of my face as I saw two people in front of the door. It was Jonathan and one of the girls he brought home. She was all over him like a parasite.

"Wh-what's going on?" I choked out. My insides flipped and turned into one giant knot that my heart seemed to be the center of as it pounded erratically.

The woman detached from Jonathan enough to look over at me. Jonathan looked too, and his eyes looked emotionless. He was just standing there letting the woman do what she wanted. Wasn't he suppose to be at school getting ready for his game?

"Little girls should go away." The woman sneered.

My legs felt shaky and I was sure I would fall over. What about this morning? The walk to school? Had I just played it up too much?

Along with the sadness boiled a bubble of anger. I clenched my hands into fists as I glared at them. "You idiot!" I yelled at Jonathan as I pulled off my backpack. "You're so stupid dumbass! You'll never change. PATHETIC." I growled as I threw my backpack at them.

"Bitch." The woman hissed letting go of Jonathan completely, but it was too late I was already in the elevator and the doors were closing.

My eyes stung with tears as I descended and ran out of the lobby. Jonathan was such an idiot. I already told him he didn't have to do that. He was better than that. That disgusting woman had to be twice his age, old enough to be his mother and she was treating him like he was nothing more than a sex tool. It made me sick. I ran through the streets without looking where I was heading, and before I knew it I was at least ten blocks from the loft. In my pocket buzzed my phone.

I stepped into an unused doorway and answered it. Trying not to sound like I was crying. Why did Jonathan bring me to tears so quickly? "Yeah?"

"Where are you, idiot?" Panted Jonathan on the other end of the call.

"Just leave me alone." I snapped back.

"After you called me a dumbass, and pathetic." He challenged, and I couldn't tell if he was angry or entertained.

There was a rush of wind that sounded over the phone, followed by honking. "What are you doing, stupid?" I asked pressing my phone tighter to my ear so I could hear him.

"There you go again calling me names. What makes you think you can do that?" He questioned and there was definitely humor in his voice. Why was he amused? What about his slut?

"Because I'm the only one who can stand up to you." I stated running a hand through my hair. It had fallen down out of the up-do, I couldn't admit why I had done it.

"Where are you Mira?" He asked again and the sound of my name made my heart ache.

"Why are you even looking for me? You don't even like me." I said dropping my hand from my hair.

"I wonder about that-" He said then and there was a screech and more honking. I pulled my phone away from my ear to still hear the honking and yelling, then I put it back to my ear. There was only a faint delay between the sounds down the street and the blaring over the phone.

"Jonathan?" I said into my phone.

No response.

"Jonathan?" I yelled.

Then a voice sounded over the phone from a distance. "Someone call 911! Hurry a boy's been hurt!"

I dropped my phone without thinking and took off down the street towards the commotion. Traffic was backedup and a crowd had formed. I elbowed my way to the front thinking, _It's not Jonathan. He's too smart to run across this street in the middle of the day. It's not him._

In the middle of the crowd was a smashed yellow cab and a cursing cabby, a dented sports car, a mangled motorcycle, and in the center was a growing pool of crimson. I fell to my knees, and I vaguely heard someone scream, "JONATHAN." I didn't know it was me until I felt the burning in my throat.

* * *

**Well guys. We're getting VERY close to the end. Two or three more chapters, possible four depending on how I write them. Welp I hope you guys like this chapter**

**Leave a review!**


	22. Chapter 22: Hospital

**Hospital**

The scream stung my throat, but it wasn't compared to the pain in my chest as I watched the crimson pool around Jonathan. I couldn't see his right hand at all, it was a mass of red and white. He was lying on his back, like he just decided the middle of the road was a great place for a nap. _Moron._ The yelling for help continued around me as I crawled over to him. I hesitated at the edge of his blood but decided it didn't matter. This blood was his, not _theirs_, they deserved what they got, Jonathan didn't. So on my hands and knees I moved to kneel by his head.

He was paler than usual. His white hair red where it touched the ground. Closer inspection showed that his shirt was torn apart in the front where more blood seeped from drenching his clothes completely. I sniffled back the tears so I could focus but I could feel the hysteria sinking in. Where the hell was the ambulance? How long has it been? Seconds? Minutes? It felt like hours ticking by with each shaky breath I released.

"J-Jon-Jona-than?" I stuttered through the fear. He didn't even blink an eye.

I moved my hand to his throat. Pressing my fingers to his pulse point checking for a heart beat. I nearly collapsed with a sob of happiness when I felt the faint flutter of his pulse. "Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern, wake up you asshole. You dumbass. Moron. Idiot. Wake up. Fight with me. Yell at me. Tell me I'm just a little girl. Please." I cried pressing my forehead to his. "W-wake up, please. Jonathan."

Then I felt hands on me pulling me way from Jonathan. My heart froze in my chest. "JONATHAN." I yelled fighting against the hands but there were too many and they easily hauled me away from Jonathan as uniformed men surrounded. It took my brain a frantic and horribly long moment to realize they were the paramedics. Part of me was relieved while the other part of me didn't want them touching him and hurting him.

"Calm down miss." Came a deep voice. I turned to see a police officer holding me back. "Everything will be all right. Do you know that boy?" He asked in a gentle but firm tone.

"Of course I do." I spat turning back to look at Jonathan, but I couldn't see him. The paramedics' backs were blocking my view. Was he okay? Were they even helping? He does have a pulse!

"Miss, do you know who to contact for him?" The officer asked pulling me farther away from where Jonathan laid.

"Y-Yes." I said. I tried to clamp my hands together but they were coated with blood making them slip apart. Jonathan's blood. It covered my hands, the sleeves of my jacket, the legs of my pants, and my shoes.

Before I could process what was happening I was in a cop car being escorted to the hospital where Valentine was heading. I apparently had managed to give the officers his number and vaguely explain how I was involved in the crash. I didn't remember any of it, it was all a blur. All I could think about was Jonathan. Whether he was still alive or not? Would he be yelling at the medical staff when I arrived at the hospital? Would he be obedient to the attractive nurses? I could see his smug smile on his face as I would walk into his hospital room. Chuckling that I was freaking out for nothing and he was just faking to toy with me.

That's not what happened when I got to the hospital. Not even close. I was directed to the fourth floor ER, but he was in surgery. On my way up I was asked multiple times if I was okay. The amount of blood on my clothes startling people as I walked along. By the time I made it to where I was going I collapsed into the nearest chair. My legs a shaking mess of jello muscles and taffy bones. I rubbed my hands together watching the dried blood flake and fall to the floor.

I wanted a shower, but I wouldn't leave until I knew how Jonathan was. I wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

"Mira." Came Valentine's voice. I don't know how long I was sitting alone, but from the tightness in my back it was probably a while. I looked over at the older man, his expression was much like it was in my dream. No emotion but firm and serious.

The tears swelled inside me like Valentine was the bringer of death ready to finish me off with the words I didn't want to hear. The words I had been suppressing from my mind as I waited for Jonathan to get out of surgery.

"Are you alright?" He asked surprising me. His voice was even gentle. Was this really Valentine?

"Is he-" I began but he raised a hand cutting me off.

"Are _you_ alright?" He emphasized. He stepped closer to me bringing the gap between us to a mere yard. Have I ever been this close to Valentine before? I don't think so.

I looked back down to my bloodstained self and replied, "None of it's mine." I knotted my fingers together. "There was a lot of it. On the pavement. At that time, and today. Humans hold a lot of blood." I spoke just to hear my own voice. To see if I really sounded as destroyed as I felt. I think I did. I probably did. Valentine looked at me like I was.

"My car is just outside. Let's go back to the loft and get you cleaned up." He suggested calmly.

I felt my eyes widen and my heart race. "No." It first came out as a whisper. "No!" I yelled. "I'm not leaving until-"

"Jonathan will be under for hours, Mirabelle." Valentine said firmly. "Think of yourself first. You can't do anything for him just sitting here like a mess. Come home and we'll come back."

I couldn't stop the hysterical giggle that left my mouth as I covered my face with my hands. "You sound just like a dad." I muttered from behind my hands.

"I am." Valentine replied.

"You are." I agreed dropping my hands into my lap. "But are you even worried? Or are you just playing the part like _they_ tried to?" I questioned looking him right in the eye.

Valentine's expression finally changed. He no longer wore the emotionless mask that seemed to always be plastered on his face. His fair brows pulled together creasing his forehead, and his dark eyes seemed to burn with a fierce intensity that I was familiar with Jonathan. "Of course I am worried. Jonathan is _my son_. That woman took the other from me, Jonathan is the only one I have left. You have no idea what I'm going through right now." His voice was as dark as his eyes.

"That's good." I sighed shakily.

"Excuse me?" Valentine demanded.

"I would probably push _you_ out a window if you didn't care." I said matter-of-factly.

Valentine was silent for a moment before he nodded and turned away from me."You would have every reason to." He agreed.

* * *

The water was warm and almost relaxing if I wasn't conscious of what I was washing off of myself. I watched the water run a dark pink, and slowly fade until it was almost clear before I stared scrubbing myself clean. Digging the red out from under my nails, using three times the usual amount of soap until I was sure I couldn't feel the thick liquid on my skin anymore. By the time I got out of the shower the sun had set. I dressed as quickly as I could, before rejoining Valentine back out in the living room. I had thrown out my jacket, it was old and covered with blood. There was no point in saving it. So instead I grabbed Jonathan's spare coat and pulled it tightly around me. As I stepped away from the coat rack I noticed my backpack leaning against the wall, Jonathan had tossed it into the loft before going after me.

My heart throbbed as I followed Valentine out the door. My eyes watering as all the nerves I had been suppressing came crashing over me. Valentine spared me a sympathetic look before calling the elevator. I sniffled back the tears as best I could but a sob still built up in my chest.

"He's too much of a pain in the ass to die in a jay-walking accident." Valentine said patting my damp hair. It was a strange yet kind gesture from him.

"Yeah." I said through a thick voice. Jonathan was a pain in the ass. _A pain in the ass I loved. Annoying jerk. You better wake up._

* * *

**Well that hurt me to right. Jonathan my baby, hurt and not being sarcastic for a whole chapter was torture!**

**Leave a review. Please**


	23. Chapter 23: Name Calling

**Name Calling**

"You leaving early again?" Raphael asked as I packed up my stuff behind the bar.

"Yeah." I said half paying attention.

"You know you don't have to keep working everyday. Everything's been settled hasn't it." He said leaning against the bar. I looked over at my boss. He wasn't smiling or joking, he was being serious. Everyone has been talking to me in such a serious way since two weeks ago. It was getting rather annoying.

"Yes it has, but I still have to pay for my own things. I'm not his real daughter, and I don't want to be. Besides Valentine has a ton of other expenses to take care of at the moment." I explained as I headed for the door.

"He signed up for it, he should already know what it means to take care of a kid." Raphael said.

I looked over my shoulder at him before walking out the door. "He already is taking care of a kid. Shut up Santiago."

* * *

"Evening Mira. Is it your shift already?" Asked Caterina.

I looked over at the woman and nodded, "Yes. Has she left yet?" I asked stopping next to the large desk.

"Just a short time ago." She smiled kindly at me before turning back to her computer.

"Thank you." I said heading down the too white hall and towards the room I could find with my eyes closed by now.

The curtains were drawn closed blocking out the yellow glow of the street below, the only light coming from the stead beeping monitor next to the bed. I dropped my backpack into the unused chair next to the door before walking over to the table across from the bed where gifts were left. The number had increased again. More flowers and cards, tacky get well soon boxes of candy, a hockey player shaped balloon with 'feel better' written on it. I moved away from the table before I had the urge to throw them all away. If they wanted him to get better they would show up to visit. They would come in person instead of sending a delivery man.

I flopped into the seat next to the bed drawing my knees to my chest as I stared at him. He was motionless except for the steady rise and fall of his chest. He didn't look like his usual self with tubes in his nose, an I.V in his arm and a heart monitor hooked up to his unbandaged hand. His right hand was in a cast. Apparently in the accident it was what suffered the most damage, and had to be completely remodeled in surgery. His chest and back were scratched up and bruised, but nothing really serious. The only thing that had doctors concerned was the fact that he was still in a coma. They had figured it was due to shock and trauma, but after the first week they weren't sure anymore. They say he's fine and should wake up at any moment, but he just won't.

"Jonathan wake up you ass." I muttered into the silence.

He didn't move.

"I love you." I said watching is eyes. Waiting for them to spring open and stare at me with smug humor.

Not even a twitch.

"Moron, you missed Christmas. You got a ton of shit you don't need again." I said hoping that talk of the just past holiday would help rouse him.

The heart monitor continued it's steady beeping while Jonathan's chest rose with breath, then fell on the exhale.

"If you can breathe then open your eyes, or are you that mad at me? You just don't ever want to see my face again you decided to stay in your head." My throat grew tight and the backs of my eyes prickled with the tears that had been making a regular appearance the last two weeks. I got up from my chair and stood right next to him. I couldn't bring myself to touch him, the last memory I had of touching him was the flutter of his fading pulse against my fingertips. I wanted to touch him, but if I did, would it only make him even madder and he wold never come out of his coma?

"You're a complete idiot, you know that? Running after me, and leading me to think you might like me, just to end up getting hit by a cyclist and a gypsy cabby. Why didn't you just ignore me like usual? Why didn't you just stay with that stupid slut? Maybe you wouldn't be like this now if you did. IDIOT." I cried clinging to the edge of the bed sheet.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I cried over him. His even breaths brushing against my forehead. I choked back a sob so the doctors and nurses passing by outside couldn't hear me.

"Ergod. You're loud." Came a moan.

I clamped my mouth shut on a sob as my eyes sprung open. It was a blur and dark but I saw movement, and not just from breathing. His head moved to the side then towards me. I frantically wiped at my eyes so I could see better because this had to be a dream I was still sitting in the chair asleep. I just don't remember falling asleep, and this was a cruel dream that would destroy my heart when I woke up.

"J-Jonathan?" I choked out.

His eyes slowly blinked open. Their dark depths looking right at me. _What a horribly beautiful dream._

"No it's Moses." His voice was thick with sleep and rough from lack of use but it was definitely his voice. My heart trembled.

I chortled. "Of course the first thing out your mouth would be sarcasm."

"Is there any other way?" He tried to smirk but it failed as a pained expression crossed his face. "Damn I hurt."

"You were in the middle of a four car crash. You're lucky to only have bruises and a busted hand." I said as my legs became weak but I stayed next to his bed. "What the hell were you thinking?" I demanded even though I knew I should have gotten a doctor or a nurse and tell them he was awake. But I needed answers. "I knew you were stupid, but clearly you're insane. Jay walking and practically dying, you dumbass."

"You've been calling me names this whole time, haven't you?" He questioned. This time he managed a smirk and it sent me over the edge.

The tears returned and I sank to my knees next to his bed gripping the sheets with numbing force. "Why the hell did you follow me for? Why do you constantly make me worry about you? You're killing me Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern."

"I hate that name." He stated flatly.

"And I love you! What're my answers?" I demanded looking at him. We were eye level and his face was close to mine, but he couldn't move. This was as close as we could get.

"I wonder about that." He breathed a laugh.

"Jonathan." I pressed as the tears blurred his face.

"I do wonder." He looked away from me and to the ceiling. "Why I chased after you, why I listened to you during the hockey game, why I let you hold my hand, why I had sex with you, why I call you when I need something, why you're the first one to show up when I need help. I wonder about those things all the time. I wonder why I even like you. You're annoying, loud, bitchy, demanding-"

"Jerk."

"You call me names all the time, even when I'm unconscious. So why do I even like you? Maybe that's why I wanted you out of the house I didn't want to see your face every day when I woke up, or maybe that's why I brought those annoying women over just to bug you." He just went on and on like I hadn't said anything.

"Jonathan shut up." I said pressing my hand over his mouth, gently of course. He just woke up from a coma. "You know you either don't say enough or you say too much. "I like you" would have been enough, now you're starting to sound like Jace and it's grossing me out." I half joked.

I removed my hand and Jonathan was making a disgusted face. "It must be the fucking morphine. There's no way I would sound like Lightwood without wanting to kill myself." He defended.

A smile crossed my face for the first time since the day of the accident. A real smile without being forced. "I know."

"Mira?" Jonathan questioned looking back at me and I couldn't stop myself.

I pulled myself to my feet and leaned down pressing my mouth to Jonathan's. I needed this kiss, I needed it to prove it wasn't a dream. It wasn't. It was real. His mouth tasted stale but it was moving against mine like it had that one night. The night I thought I had gotten ahead of myself, but by Jonathan's words he liked me even then. As the kiss continued I brought my hand up to the side of Jonathan's face, feeling the stubble from the lack of shaving as I smoothed my thumb over his cheek.

I pulled back just enough to speak while Jonathan caught his breath. "If I see you with another girl this is not where you'll be waking up next time. You'll be shaking hands with the devil on your way to hell." I warned.

"Then I should be careful not to get caught." He chuckled.

"Jonathan Christo-"

He pressed his lips to mine. "Just a joke. I know better than to challenge you." He said before kissing me again.

"Good." I muttered into the kiss.

* * *

**Okay so I haven't decided whether the next chapter will be the last or not yet, so be prepared for anything!**

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**How'd you like Mira's and Jonathan's get together?**

**Was it dramatic enough?**

**Was it funny? I wanted it to be funny as much as it was touching. Was it?**


	24. Chapter 24: What Are We?

**What Are We?**

Jonathan was released from the hospital several days later, mostly because the doctors and nurses couldn't stand his complaining any more. His hand was still in the cast and would be for months to come, and once the cast is removed he'll have to go through physical therapy to get it's strength back. I have a feeling Jonathan won't take it seriously and he'll go overboard. He's missing out on his last season of hockey because of it.

Having him home, yes the loft is now my home. I don't know what change specifically for me to call it that, but it's my home now. Valentine coming and going less frequently, though he doesn't sit in the living room with Jonathan and I. Instead I think he locks himself in his room and does the work he usually does in his office at work. After Jonathan's accident Valentine has become more of the parent Jocelyn seems to be, caring and protective. It only took him eighteen years to get there but at least he _got_ _there._

Clary showed up to the loft the day after Jonathan's release. They spent the afternoon at the table looking through a photo album of Clary's childhood, and a much smaller book that their mother handed over that had pictures of Jonathan and Clary as babies up until Jocelyn left Valentine. Even though I still don't like Clary I gave them space. Jonathan needed to get over his sister complex and the only way that was going to happen was if she acted like a sister to him instead of a flirt buddy.

Every day was going fine, Jonathan was taking his painkillers like he was suppose to even though he complained that he didn't need to, I cook for him before I leave for my afternoon shift at Pandemonium, then I come home and make dinner for everyone. I could see it becoming routine even when school started back up. That Monday started just like the others but Jonathan wouldn't let me go to work. He sat in front of the door like a stubborn child until I called Raphael and said I wasn't going. Then he made me spend the day watching old horror movies with horrible plot lines and graphics.

"Go get dressed." He said after the last movie ended. The sun was just starting to dip below the horizon and it had started to snow again. The city was covered in a thin sheet of white ice.

"I am dressed." I stated not getting up from the couch.

"Yes you are. Now go change." He said getting up and making his way to the hall.

"Why?" I challenged lounging across the couch. I wasn't moving until I found out what was going on with Jonathan today.

He peeked his head around the corner with his brows furrowed. "Can you just do something without an interrogation? Jeez you make it so hard to be nice." He said before disappearing down the hall.

I jumped up from the couch following after his stiff walk. The cuts and bruises across his back and chest were still sore even with the painkillers, which were mostly for his right hand anyway. "_Nice_? You're being nice?" I asked following him to his bedroom door.

"It's either that or the meds are doing wonders." He muttered over his shoulder.

"Miracle. That's what this is. Did you have an epiphany while you were out cold?" I asked leaning against the door jam.

"You mean while you were calling me every name in the book just because I wouldn't wake up?" He smirked over his shoulder as he began to tug off his plain gray shirt.

"Yeah." I nodded, unaffected by his insult.

"Go get dressed Tyler." He sighed tiredly.

"Do you need help?" I asked. He was wincing every time he moved his arms, and he only had one functional hand.

With his shirt finally off I could see the the thick bandaging wrapped around his chest and back. He was going to have horrible scars. Constant reminders of how stupid he was to just chase after me.

Jonathan turned around with a devilish smile on his face as he came to stand right in front of me. "You just want to strip me, and take advantage of your weakened boyfriend."

"Is that what you are?" I raised a brow as blood flooded to my cheeks. "Weak? I thought you were strong no matter what."

His eyes darkened as they stared down at me. "Watch it Tyler." He warned.

"That's not my name." I stated crossing my arms over my chest.

We stared at each other for a solid minute before he grumbled a sigh and pressed his forehead to mine. "You are such an annoying little girl, you know that Mira?" He said. Even though what he said was suppose to be an insult the sound of my name still made my heart throb in my chest.

"Yup." I smiled brushing my lips against his. "And you're stuck with me."

"Lucky me." Jonathan sarcastically muttered into our half kiss. There was no pressure just lips moving against lips as we spoke. "Go get dressed. Put your hair up."

"Fine." I sighed pulling away and heading to my room.

* * *

"Jonathan it's cold. Where are you dragging me?" I complained as we trudged out of a cab and down a sidewalk. The snow was still falling and landing in my half up hair and Jonathan's long eyelashes.

"For someone who celebrates all the holidays, I can't believe you forgot New York's biggest." Jonathan smirked down at me as we approached a hotel which had people lining up all the way down the block.

At the front doors Jonathan flashed something like an I.D and the security guy let us through as the people waiting in line complained. The inside of the hotel was brightly lit and covered in silver and gold decorations while guests ran around with ridiculous glasses and hats on, then it hit me. It was New Years.

"You brought me out to party?" I accused. I hate partying, and I'm sure he knows.

"You make pancakes to celebrate, I go out and have fun." He smiled back at me. He was dragging me towards a golden elevator with his left hand. I didn't want to go, but I couldn't pull away, he was purposely holding my hand.

"You can't drink." I reminded him as the elevator arrived. It was packed with people who spilled out yelling and cheering while throwing confetti around and blowing the annoying little plastic horns. The hotel was like one giant party.

We stepped inside before anyone could join us and Jonathan hit the button for the twelfth floor. "Does this mean you're playing nurse tonight?"

I hardened my gaze as I looked up at his amused expression. I was being serious. "I'll be watching you like a hawk. I won't watch you do stupid things anymore."

The doors opened and Jonathan pulled me out into a semi quiet hallway. "You had fun with Blackthorn, why am I different?" He challenged not looking down at me.

"Mark can take care of himself. You're a ticking time bomb." I answered and his hand clamped around mine. It was painful but I didn't tug away. He was upset. "I want _you_ safe, he doesn't matter. Jonathan, your hurting my hand."

He stopped just outside a door that muffled the pounding music from inside. A party. Who's?

Jonathan's hand loosened around mine as he turned to face me. His dark eyes burning with something that I couldn't identify. Determination? Pride? Combination of both and something darker.

"You talk just like a guy, little girl." He said before releasing my hand to open the door. I flexed my fingers as we stepped into the room. There weren't as many people as I thought there would be, then I realized the people dancing and talking were students from Institute High.

Jonathan placed his right arm over my shoulders, rest his cast against my arm. We walked though a small gap of people and to the French doors that were open sending a refreshingly cool breeze into the too warm suite. I recognized several members of the hockey team, and the senior class but none of them approached us, and I was okay with that. I didn't like most of them anyway. Especially the girls.

Jonathan stopped next to the doors snow fluttering in but melting before it has the chance to touch the floor.

"Who's party is this?" I asked looking around the suite for someone acting like a host but there wasn't.

"Mine." He answered flatly.

"And they were all here before you?" I inquired confused.

"I told the hotel to leave the door unlocked. Besides a party doesn't need a host as long as there's a location and free food." He smirked pressing our sides together.

"Nice." I sighed shaking my head.

"What?" He quirked a brow.

"You're definitely nice. . . And it's strange." I giggled.

"Oh the sweet words of my girlfriend." He mocked.

I roll my eyes and stood my ground. "I love you." I said over the music so the people around us could hear. Several people stopped what they were doing to stare at us. I wasn't expecting to embarrass Jonathan, he doesn't get embarrassed, but apparently he likes attention more than I thought.

After I announced my feelings he pulled his arm tighter around me and kissed me square on the mouth as everyone continued to stare. _I_ got embarrassed and flustered as he pulled away, a victorious look on his smug face. _Why the hell do I love him again?_

"I think you've just crushed Blackthorn's hopes." He snickered jerking his chin to something behind me. I turned to see Mark looking pale and jaw slack. Several of his hockey friends patting him on the back like it would unfreeze him from his staring. When our eyes met he blinked rapidly then turned away like nothing just happened.

"Actually that was you." I said turning back to Jonathan. "You're the one calling us boyfriend and girlfriend."

Jonathan cocked his head to the side as he stared at me. "Isn't that what girls call it? Clary said it." He queried.

"That implies we'll break up, and I have no intention of playing Jace and Clary." I stated.

Jonathan chuckled. "Then what are we, if anything?" He asked as his eyes danced with amusement.

I took no pause to answer, "Lovers."

"You've got guts to say that in public." He smirked.

"Not really. This takes guts." I said pulling the collar of his shirt making him bend just enough so I could pressed my mouth to his. I kissed him long and hard, with everything I had just to make my point to the girls who were glaring at me since I said "I love you" to Jonathan.

He kissed back without fear of judgement. This was his party after all. I couldn't wrap my arms around his neck, I didn't want to hurt him, so I settled for holding his face to mine with my hands. His right arm stayed on my shoulders while his left hand tangled in my hair at the nape of my neck. It hurt but not enough to break the kiss that seemed endless, at least until I needed to breath properly and pulled away panting. Jonathan was chuckling to himself with his usual smug smile.

"Well played, Tyler." He commented removing his hand from my hair.

I glared at him.

"Mira." He corrected.

"It's like training a puppy." I muttered stepping away from him.

I didn't get far before he grabbed me with his good arm. "Excuse me, _lover_?"

I just laughed. This was Jonathan, and I loved him. Annoying traits and all, and for some reason he liked me too.

"I love you."

"You too."

Another kiss before the countdown to the new year began.

_I really do love him._

* * *

**Welp there you guys go. The end~ **

**Crazy right. I got pretty emotional at the end I don't know about you guys. **

**Well you know the drill. Let me know what you thought about the story, and if it gets enough hype then maybe I'll do what I did with Nervous Glitter Tornado and right a short story that you guys get to vote on. **

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**So... yeah...**

**The end...**


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